Gov. John Kasich, America’s Last Moderate Centrist He’s Just an Old Softy, Really Republican, has a cunning plan to become the next PotUS.
The problem? All this modernization means there aren’t enough women sitting at home, waiting to enlist in the John Kasich Army.
“How did I get elected?” Kasich asked the crowd, recalling his first run for state Senate in Ohio in 1978. “Nobody was — I didn’t have anybody for me. We just got an army of people, who, and many women, who left their kitchens to go out and go door to door and to put yard signs up for me. All the way back, when — you know, things were different. Now you call homes and everybody’s out working. But at that time, early days, it was an army of the women that really helped me get elected to the state Senate.”
The solution? Make sure more ladies are at home with the kiddies!
Ohio Gov. John Kasich signed a bill Sunday prohibiting the state from contracting for health services with any organization that performs or promotes abortions, blocking government funds to Planned Parenthood.
Sheer. Centrist. Genius.
(Alternate explanation – Kasich is a dick and calling him a centrist or a moderate shows a poor grasp of the meaning of words.)