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On Our New Overlords

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In our continuing chronicle of jellyfish taking over the planet and replacing humans as the dominant species, we have jellyfish attacking Sweden and shutting down a nuclear reactor. The Soviets couldn’t stop western Europe’s nuclear regime, but what are the Soviets compared to jellyfish? Nothing.

Meanwhile, the South Koreans are trying to fight the jellyfish. It seems to me that is just going to make them angry. I wouldn’t want to be in Korea when the jellyfish strike back.

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  • Would it be racist to make a zerg-rush joke here?

    • Linnaeus

      So now we just need to find the jellyfish Overmind.

      • Snarki, child of Loki

        I, for one, welcome our new Cnidarian Overlords.

        It seems that the GOP plan to “turn back the clock” is working very effectively. Soon the world will be back in the Cambrian era, and life will be simpler. MUCH simpler.

    • InnerPartisan

      KEKEKEKEKE!

    • melvin_son_of_melvin

      That’s speciously speciesist.

      (say that three times, quickly, with a lithp…)

  • SP

    “In Korea, they cost the fishing industry 300 billion won (about $280,000) a year”
    Is that a misconversion or is it really that piddling of an amount? Each robot probably costs more than that.
    (Google confirms it is off by a factor of a thousand, actually $280 million.)

  • Sev

    Kudos to Tepco, fior at least trying. Maybe they need to jack up the dose?

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      Yeah, good try, but too bad that jellies are more rad-hard than we are.

      • njorl

        Good thing. The most likely result of irradiation would be the creation of a giant mutant jellyfish which rises from the sea to destroy Tokyo. Although, with Japan’s ongoing economic problems, it might prefer to destroy Seoul.

  • ChrisTS

    Through all these conversations about jellyfish, I have held back a secret: I once swallowed one during a 2 mile swim meet. Neither of us were pleased.

    • That sounds exceedingly unpleasant.

      • ChrisTS

        Well, it was the return lap and I was trying both to win and to not drown in a squall that kicked up, so … the jelly dude was a minor matter.

    • Bartleby

      Probably one much smaller than I am imagining, but still, wow.

      • ChrisTS

        On the whole, I think he had the worse of it.

    • Lee Rudolph

      It could have been worse. You could have aspirated it.

      • ChrisTS

        Close enough. I was just getting air and he blobbed into my mouth.

  • I think the Chinese and Vietnamese solution of turning the jellyfish into tasty salads is still the best one.

    • stickler

      I was just thinking about that: can jellyfish be harvested for some kind of tasty and / or useful purpose? I have a half-eaten tube of salmon roe paste in my fridge that I bought at IKEA; if the Swedes can make “food” out of that, why haven’t they done the same with jellyfish?

    • cpinva

      yeah, I was just thinking the same thing, jellyfish are considered a delicacy in some Asian countries, so this could actually be boon times for them.

      • njorl

        I imagine it has to be the right kind of jellyfish. “Americans like to eat mammals” could lead to some unfortunate events.

        • Linnaeus

          Only about 12 species of jellyfish are harvested for food. I’m sure not all of them are edible.

  • calling all toasters

    Insert John Boehner joke here.

    • NBarnes

      Jellyfish have an important ecological niche to fill replacing the spines of GOP congressional leadership.

      Ted Cruz is the leading surgeon on the team performing the transplants.

  • agorabum

    Can’t we just genetically engineer a fish that prefers warmer waters and loves eating jellyfish?
    That’s nothing about man’s disregard of nature and its consequences that can’t be fixed by further disregard of nature.

  • ZaftigAmazon

    Jellyfish are a painful occupational hazard for commercial fisherman in Alaska. Jellyfish may not sting if you touch them with your hands, but if you then pee over the side of the boat without scrubbing your hands first, you can be suffering for hours

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