Home / General / Everybody put your hands together for “B. Spencer”!

Everybody put your hands together for “B. Spencer”!


In a move which has nothing whatsoever to do with Saturday’s post about bitter academics collecting multiple pseudonyms of various genders based on people they’ve studied, Lawyers, Guns & Money is proud to announce that “B. Spencer” will joining us on the masthead as of right now! The arrival of “B. Spencer” is also utterly unrelated to the rap travesty I subjected you to earlier in the week. “B. Spencer” is no “B-Rabbit” but an actual real person — and a noisy one at that — who is not just here to shut Greenwald up. (Were the case we’d have made her gay and named her Kenneth.) Why have we invited “B. Spencer” to join us? It’s not like she’s been here all along in the raging waters of our ever-expanding comment threads. Because I swear she hasn’t. “B. Spencer” is a real live kosher person who just happens to be a doctor and she’ll be writing here from now on.

So roll out the red carpet for her already!

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  • Malaclypse

    You forgot to mention the talented artist thing.

    • Speaking as someone with an original B.Spencer hanging on my wall, let me emphasize “talented.”

  • Yay!!!

  • The fact that her blog drew its name from NewsRadio makes me love her already.

  • joe from Lowell

    You’d have named her Kenneth, eh?

    And what would you have named the left one?

    • And what would the frequency have been?

      • Origami Isopod


      • Bill Murray

        1000 kilo Huz

  • Quicksand

    Ah. This post explains sooo much.

    Very good.

  • David Hunt

    Welcome, Dr. Spencer.

  • W00t!!1! for the Good Doctor Noisewater!

  • Jameson Quinn

    Welcome. Good to finally have a woman on the masthead. And I have every hope that I’ll be able to pay higher compliments soon.

    • spencer

      Good to finally once again have a woman on the masthead

      They’ve been here before, you know.

    • Haystack

      She’s already killed it with her Post Zero. (Scroll down ’til you find “Shitty Miracles”.) 300+ comments!!

  • Peter Hovde

    Just the other day B. Spencer was telling me that SEK is the kindest, warmest, bravest, most wonderful person she’s ever known.

    • Sprezzatura


      • John Protevi

        Damn joke names that don’t erase themselves!

    • mxyzptlk

      …why do I feel like playing solitaire?

      • Peter Hovde

        It’s not a bad way to pass the time.

        • Peter Hovde

          Indeed, I concur.

  • JoyfulA

    Welcome, B!

  • Anna in PDX

    Oh goody!

  • Hurrah! Nice move all!

  • (does the wave)

  • Spokane Moderate

    I, too, welcome our new blog overlord!

  • Origami Isopod


  • This does of course mean that we expect you all to click on the Google ads a lot more to increase our income. You know you want whatever random product is advertised on your screen right now. Evidently, I want Under Armor gear. Yay for capitalism!

    • Don’t forget the Blogads for upstart on-line publications named after a certain midwestern college town.

      • efgoldman

        I wanna’ know what algorithm thinks that denizen of this blog are upscale enough to shop at Bergdorf’s.
        Also too there’s always the Amazon ad with a bunch of classics – today its Joseph Conrad and Shin Tzu – followed by a bunch of titles straight out of TeaHadi fantasyland.

        • max

          I wanna’ know what algorithm thinks that denizen of this blog are upscale enough to shop at Bergdorf’s.

          The algo that goes off your zipcode id based on your IP. The blog ad algo thinks YOU are upscale enough to shop at Spencer’s.

          Sadly, it thinks I’m downscale enough or rural enough to want to click WND’s ad polling the question: ‘Should the Boy Scouts give in to gay pressure?’ (Yes! YES! Oh, yes!)

          Meantime, Amazon thinks I would like feminist (I think) books, railroad history and military books. (I’ve not anything against any of those subjects, but these are not the books I’m looking for.)

          [‘Oh, yes… welcome Comrade B.!’]

          • rea

            I get ads for “View Single Men in Grand Rapids, Michigan” :(

            • If I buy something at certain stores, I’ll be stalked for ads for what I just bought, or what I decided not to buy to go along with it, or what I decided not to buy in favor of what I did buy. Or I’ll not buy anything and be stalked by ads for the store I decided was too expensive.

              Something about this post triggered some Toys R Us ads for me though. And earlier tonight a petition organized by Billy Graham, apparently.

            • rea

              And the morning after the ads for “View Single Men in Grand Rapids, Michigan” I get “Divorce and Bankruptcy Attorneys in Grand Rapids, Michigan”

            • Bill Murray

              I get MilitaryCupid.com and a poll asking if Obama is the worst President in history

            • herr doktor bimler

              I got a rock.

          • Origami Isopod

            ‘Should the Boy Scouts give in to gay pressure?’ (Yes! YES! Oh, yes!)

            Your quotation marks appear misplaced. That parenthetical almost certainly appeared in the WMD ad.

    • ploeg

      You mean the folks with the advertisement where a woman has these tights on, and she pokes at a control panel on her left arm to change the color and warmth of the tights? That would be a neat trick.

    • Brandon C.

      My google stalker actually knows me fairly well. Its honestly really creepy.

      • Deptfordx

        I swear to god i don’t know why all the adverts i get are for Goat Porn.

        Stop looking at me like that.

    • rea

      B. Spencer: for Hire?

      • rea

        And somebody downthread has already said that :(

  • Willkomen!

  • spencer

    Great choice.

  • ploeg

    B. Spencer Has Something To Say To You

  • Colin

    Huzzah and bem-vindo!

  • OmerosPeanut

    With that kind of an introduction I can’t help wondering if “B. Spencer” and “A.D. Harvey” are related. Welcome!

  • Yay! Now I can tell all my friends that I knew this famous person when she was just a lowly slayer of vacuums.

  • Karate Bearfighter

    Bienvenidos and felicidades, B. Spencer … if that is your real name!

    • Warren Terra

      I think it’s terrible that as she’s evolved towards a place on the masthead her noms de blog have gotten progressively more staid.

      • Reilly

        Yeah, makes you wonder if they told her she’d have to give up her right testicle if she wanted the job.
        Welcome B. Spencer. Good news for all.

      • herr doktor bimler

        I tried to adopt a nom de guerre when I started blogging, but owing to a terrible mistake I ended up with a nom du beurre and have had to spend half my time since then advertising dairy products.

        • DocAmazing

          And now it’s tout lait.

          • Stag Party Palin

            -1000. French puns are abominable.

    • herr doktor bimler

      I knew B. Spenser before she went mainstream and conventional.

      • Of course, now her REGULAR blog will go bereft and ghost-townie.

        • herr doktor bimler

          She can always post lots of music youtubes there.

          • Or just do incoherent commentary on pulp science fiction covers.

            • Malaclypse

              Or mock Zardoz, the worst movie of all time.

              • Leeds man

                Someone has issues. Any movie that uses the second movement of Beethoven’s 7th symphony cannot, by definition, be the worst movie of all time. Any Sean Connery film other than The Wind and The Lion, ditto.

                • Similar logic regarding Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor is why the original Rollerball is the best movie ever made.

            • herr doktor bimler

              With photographs of squirrels.

          • You can end up in the cornfield also.

          • Perhaps. But they would be of Top 40 songs, and as such of no consequence.

          • Warren Terra

            Ghost-townie music videos? Happy to oblige.

            (And just a couple weeks from being topical, too!)

  • Hogan

    “What does B stand for?” “Just about anything.”

    Willkommen, bienvenu, welcome, come on in.

  • Warren Terra

    B. Spencer For Hire Hired.

    (If bar-snacks-money counts as “hired”)

  • mds

    Well, great, now every so often we’re going to be subjected to kiddie pictures without warning.

    … And you know what? I don’t have a problem with that.

  • Uncle Kvetch

    This is excellent news for John McCain!

  • Jordan


    Well, I understand almost none of these references (OP or comment-wise) because I am blog-dumb (except a great commentator and that one fun guest-poster is now a regular). I understand no internet traditions.

    BUT! Many good people think this is a great idea, so I think it awesome as well! :).

  • About fucking time, you bunch of sausages.

  • Hmm, not to detract from the welcoming festivities (which are due and most due), I have a growing morbid curiosity at whether, during the next Greenwaldspaten, Greenwald will claim credit for the rededudification of LGM.

    • Reilly

      I can’t imagine otherwise. Maybe even a 5000 word post on the positive effects of adversarial shame-baiting.

      • Well, perhaps the question is exactly when in the exchange. In his first comment?

        Ah well, it won’t stop me from enjoying the Spenserposts.

        • Reilly

          Me either. But for the record, I’ll say he fires the first volley from his twitter feed whenever he catches wind of it.

    • SEK

      I have a growing morbid curiosity at whether, during the next Greenwaldspaten, Greenwald will claim credit for the rededudification of LGM.

      This was actually in the works before Greenwald’s accusations — basically since we had her change the masthead, we were thinking of adding her to it. We waited a little longer just to avoid offending her by making her feel like a token. I couldn’t give a fuck about what Greenwald thinks.

      • Oh me neither! I do sorta actually enjoy blog trainwrecks so I kinda look forward to the inevitable.

        The actual move doesn’t surprise me at all. And it is most welcome!

    • Origami Isopod

      …and shame LGM for the continuing whiteness of its commentariat. As opposed to all the PoC for whom Greenwald speaks.

  • DrDick

    Dr. Noisewater, slayer of cleaning appliances, welcome indeed!

  • Domino

    こんにちわ スペンサーさん!

  • cpinva

    i wondered if you guys would ever convince another female to blog on here.

    • Wait, Dr. Kenneth is a FEMALE?

      This changes EVERYTHING.

      • Barry Freed

        I knew that. I didn’t know that she was a real doctor. Or is she?

        Oh, and welcome aboard.

      • witless chum

        Well, whatever gender, some vacuums that I assume were evil or at least very misunderstood got slayed, right?

        • Warren Terra

          Nature abhors them for a reason.

  • Leeds man

    This causes me to smile.

  • “B. Spencer” is no “B-Rabbit” but an actual real person

    Which is why she is nowhere to be seen . . . ?

  • isaiah

    On my browser, at least, DJW has now been pushed down to the second line.

    • Warren Terra

      The names are rank-ordered by frequency of posting. Or maybe by total number of comments on their posts.

      (This is completely untrue. But it would be great!).

      • SEK

        It should be alphabetical by last name, but I’m not sure that’s how my alphabet works.

        • Pseudonym

          Alphabetical by height I think.

        • Fucking alphabets, how do THEY work?

        • Hogan

          Loomis before Farley except after Noon.

  • sharculese

    It took me a minute to make the connection, but awesome!

  • Stiv

    ( I can see her backstage, crowd getting louder, Noisewater11!, Vacuumslayer!!1 call and response)

  • DocAmazing

    Ears up and welcome!

  • BigHank53

    Huzzah! And welcome aboard.

  • Anonymous

    *swoons with delight, fisting pumping all the while*

  • Shakezula

    FINALLY this joint is getting some much needed class.

    I hear this person is the sworn enemy of a certain appliance used to catch dust bunnies.

    • Anonymous

      Because I’m thick as shit smeared on a coupl’a planks, precariously balanced on a brick, I only realized that recently. And then, I was just all (in my head): “she is famous!!!1!”

  • “B. Spencer”–what a dumb name.

    (Thank you for the kind words, everybody. Day: made.)

    • Jameson Quinn

      My “kind” words above failed to realize that you were the one who gave the general impression of rabbitity. Now that I know it’s you, I’m doubly pleased, and in fact humbled to be in your august presence.

      • My august presence? It’s not even may yet!

        (No…thank you. Everybody’s being so nice.)

  • I’m not writing word one until Carbon Man signs off on this.

    • You! Silly woman creature prepare us a post and pancakes, NOW!

      I do command it on this the 17th day of April, in the 2013th year of Our Lord.

      • Manly Carbon


        • Tyto

          Needs more *beep* *boop*

  • Helmut Monotreme

    Hooray! Congratulations!

  • Halloween Jack

    \m/ \m/

  • Cheap Wino

    Her other blog links to Skepchick. That bodes well!

  • an actual real person — and a noisy one at that
    Ain’t that the truth!

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