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Everything you always wanted to know about conservatives but were afraid would be confirmed if you ever asked


No shorter required:

In an interview with Jason Mattera which was conducted last month but is just now hitting the news, Democratic Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky admitted that the Democrats’ effort to ban “assault weapons” is “just the beginning.” In addition, Schakowsky says that she wants to ban all handguns, and thinks this can constitutionally be done, despite the Second Amendment.

In a closely related development, a New York judge has thrown out Mayor Bloomberg’s decree against selling “sugary drinks” in New York City in containers larger than 16 ounces.

The things the Democrat Party closely develops in relation to these days! What with the walking up on hilltops, the unfurling of plastic ribbons ’bout ninety feet long and yellow and the asking of children — our children! — to slip-slide down to their death panels. This cannot be! Or cannot stand! Or both!

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  • herr doktor bimler

    It is the thin edge of the white elephant!

  • c u n d gulag


    Djaevah notice how much a bullet looks like a penis?

    And how many guns look like a penis and squared-off ball-sack?

    I suspect that many of our NRA-Gunista’s associate gun control, with gonad control.

    And if they’re out in public without their guns, they feel like they left their manhood back home.
    So they feel they need the right to pack their manhood wherever they go.

    And don’t get me started on people with ginormous pick-up trucks…

    • rea

      [Policee officr]: “Son, you’re udner arrest for carrying concealed weapon”

      [Suspect]: “That’s NOT a firearm, officer!”

      • c u n d gulag


        But more like, “Is that a half-a-roll of dimes in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

    • VCarlson

      Ben Sargent has a similar opinion.

      • Shwell Thanksh

        That is print-worthy.

  • Rob

    That insidious Democrat Bloomberg, doing things Republicans want all the time just so he can get in the secret Democrat plan to limit the size of sodas!

  • Shakezula

    So, you see:
    Constitutional right to buy guns and soda – You betcha.
    Constitutional right to have an abortion or marry a person of the same gender – NO WAY!!!

    Fuck these people in the ear with a trans.vag. probe.

    • Malaclypse

      First they came for the oversized sodas. Then Jesus turned water into Big Gulps.

      • Malaclypse

        I have no idea why this came out as a reply to Shakezula. I blame that fiendish Democrat Bloomberg.

      • Kurzleg

        I think the late Thomas Kincaid was working on a piece with this “Big Gulps” subject matter before he died.

      • herr doktor bimler

        It didn’t take Malaclypse long to switch the subject to vorarephilia.

        Kincaid was working on a piece with this “Big Gulps” subject
        Rule 34.

  • Matt

    So if we of the Left get tarred with whatever Powerline can find anybody left-ish saying, does that work in reverse? Because that logic means that Powerline is a domestic terror organization, given the massive number of RW loons currently fapping to “Red Dawn” fantasies…

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      Sorry, but that’s against the Official Conservative CalvinBall rules.

    • Shakezula

      Of course not. Because they are doing it to protect RealMuricuh(TM). You know, that magical country where an uppity blackity black man would never be elected president.

      • Unsympathetic

        He wasn’t REALLY elected! Twas stolen, I tells ya!

        Because that one time the Real Murkin won, nobody cheated at all. Well, they did, but freedom, because IOKIYAR.

        • Shakezula

          Long form vault copy titanium engraved Pope endorsed with pictures of a clearly American doctor assisting at labor attached birth certificate or bust!

    • sharculese

      I mean, I guess you could make the attempt, but why would you when there are so many more obvious ways in which powerline is terrible?

  • Snarki, child of Loki

    “First, they came for the super-sized 64oz non-diet Dr. Pepper, and I remained silent, because I only drink Mt. Dew. Then I went into some sort of sugar/caffeine trance state, and when I regained consciousness again, the UN hand confiscated all my pork rinds in the name of global jihad. Never again!”

    • c u n d gulag

      And the UN took away my golf clubs, and canceled my Tee-time!


  • I’m just curious how one Democrat (who was probably misquoted or at least taken out of context) wanting to “ban guns” morphs into a ban on soda, which affects the poor welfare Cadillac single moms more than anyone else.

    • NonyNony

      morphs into a ban on soda, which affects the poor welfare Cadillac single moms more than anyone else.

      You’re not looking at it correctly. A “soda ban” affects young, white males in high school/college at an emotional level. And this is where libertarian ideas find the most fertile soil as well. In the eyes of a young libertarian, the slippery slope might actually run from “wanting to restrict guns” down to “OMG THEY’RE GOING TO TAKE MY CODE RED AWAY FROM ME!!!!!” rather than the reverse as you might expect.

      • See, this is what I find so funny about the public reaction to the ban, not that it wasn’t warranted (and I wrote as much at my blog today): walking down the street, apart from the 20oz bottles of soda, which you can still buy in grocery stores, the lion’s share of oversized sweet drinks are from fast food places, and it’s not like they put all that much soda in those once you subtract the volume of ice. It’s not affecting anyone, hardly at all!

        • BigHank53

          Try asking for your soda without ice while the manager is within earshot, and watch the frown.

          • catclub

            I was under the impression that the ice is actually the most expensive part of the drink.

            But the frown indicates the manager knows which is more expensive.

            • It’s conceivable that it it, but not by much.

              In New York, water meters are pretty generous, about $9 for every hundred cubic feet, so the water for ice itself is trivial. Electricity to make ice would cost, and this is a back of the envelope estimate, 18 cents KwH. Let’s figure a refrigerator uses 10 KwH (estimate), divided by 100 sodas (guess of roughly two a minute), so that ice costs something like 1.8 cents per glass. The soda costs (at the link) 12 cents a cup.

      • TribalistMeathead


        When McDonalds discontinued super-sized fries and sodas in the wake of Super Size Me, it created a non-zero number of new libertarians.

  • cpinva

    i note that no link to the actual interview itself was provided. no doubt, an unintended oversight, which will be quickly remedied.

    • Shakezula

      Try clicking on “No shorter required,” right under the headline.

      • John

        He’s saying Powerline didn’t provide a link to the supposed Schakowsky interview, not that SEK didn’t provide a link to Powerline.

        • cpinva


        • Shakezula

          A thousand pardons. I confess when I landed on Powerline further inquiry was stifled by the need to dunk my CPU in bleach.

          So yes. I’m sure a not at all ham-fistedly sliced n’ diced video will arrive at ANY SECOND.

    • It’s hard to imagine, but Breitbart.com has higher journalistic standards than Assmissile.

      The question is asked: how much selective editing went into this.

      • Col Bat Guano

        I watched the video and let’s just say he leads her to making the statement he was fishing for while stripping away all the context.

        • Shwell Thanksh

          Thanksh for clicking on that sho we didnt have to.

  • Hogan

    In an interview with Jason Mattera which was conducted last month but is just now hitting the news

    Well yeah. Those videos don’t “edit” themselves.

  • That closing metaphor doesn’t go far enough. Liberals are the Overlords from Childhood’s End, genderless alien devils come to institute paradise on Earth so they can take our children away.

  • wengler

    Chicago banned handguns a long time ago. Of course it is impossible to keep them banned in a city and flowing freely throughout the country.

    Stupid rightwing bait aside, I really wish the gun control side of the debate would focus on licensing, registration, and liability insurance. Banning ‘assault’ weapons is only talked about because it is the most politically feasible option, not that it will be hugely effective.

  • Shwell Thanksh

    liability insurance

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