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Organs

[ 55 ] February 19, 2013 |

Mary Sue McClurkin, a state rep from the fine state of Alabama:

Alabama state Rep. Mary Sue McClurkin (R) is pushing legislation that would impose restrictions on abortion clinics — a move that she argues is necessary because the procedure is a major surgery that removes the largest “organ” in a woman’s body.

“When a physician removes a child from a woman, that is the largest organ in a body,” McClurkin told the Montgomery Advertiser on Thursday. “That’s a big thing. That’s a big surgery. You don’t have any other organs in your body that are bigger than that.”

As I’ve stated before, education or intelligence is no necessary qualification to succeed at politics.

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  1. wengler says:

    She might know what she’s talking about. It appears she had that large organ in her head removed already.

    • LosGatosCA says:

      Not everyone can be as smart as Sarah Palin. Have some compassion.

    • Epicurus says:

      Ach, ya beat me to it! All I gleaned from this article is that Ms. McClurkin’s brain is clearly NOT the largest organ in her body. I wonder if it even functions, beyond the sympathetic nervous system. I mean, her respiration appears to be working normally, but other than that, her EEG was silent.

  2. LosGatosCA says:

    I think I could support an alien invasion, a la Invasion of The Body Snatchers’ if they started in Alabama. When they started reaching I-4 in Florida and I-40 in Tennessee we could institute a containment policy that should eventually lead to an alien collapse in about 45 years’ just like the Soviet Union.

    Then we could rerun Reconstruction properly, with a more grateful populace.

    • Warren Terra says:

      How certain are you this hasn’t already happened?

    • Smut Clyde says:

      Will this involve mandatory nudity (a la Puppet Masters) to ensure there is no infiltration by the slug-like brain parasites? AFAF.

      • LosGatosCA says:

        Infiltration by the parasites will be mandatory until the victims can solve simple math problems without resorting to referencing the Laugher Curve, understand the spell check function on a computer (proficiency at actual spelling will also be accepted), and basic scientific theories such as evolution.

        So that they are not reduced to being simple clones of West Virginians, they will still retain memories of Crimson Tide football and how Nick Saban took Abraham Lincoln’s advice to ‘Go South, young man, Go South.’ And he built a great educational institution known as the ‘Oxford (MS) of the South (and more to the East)’.

      • Anonymous says:

        Is Puppet Masters the one with the mouth-breathing model guy and the woman with the incredibly short legs?

      • cpinva says:

        god, i hope not!

        “Will this involve mandatory nudity (a la Puppet Masters) to ensure there is no infiltration by the slug-like brain parasites? AFAF.”

        there are just so many people i hope to never, ever see naked!

  3. Pestilence says:

    education or intelligence is no necessary qualification to succeed at politics

    There is evidence that they are in fact bars to success in politics – at the state level, considerable evidence.

  4. Teh liver says:

    What am I, chopped –
    I’ll come back in.

    • Teh Penis says:

      Hey, think I could get some personhood down here? I do at least half the thinking around here anyway.

      • Teh Asshole says:

        Waitaminnit, guy. I think I have seniority over you, seeing as I could actually go out and get a job. Supposedly I’ve got great job prospects as a Republican politician, a law school dean, or a teacher in the Lowell Public Schools.

  5. Jamie says:

    So, I take it that she is an advocate or judging healthcare on the amount of tissue removed? That would be novel. Breast cancer, for instance, would be about the same as abortion.

    • LosGatosCA says:

      Actually we’re researching how many chickens are required for payment for the various procedures so that we can have a free market evaluation of their relative equivent worth. Our stringers are checking with Sue Lowden national market maker in Nevada as this is being posted.

  6. ironic irony says:

    In this woman’s case, her brain is definitely her smallest organ.

  7. c u n d gulag says:

    Oh, if only “TEH STOOPID” was an organ that could be removed…

  8. jbp says:

    Actually, I remember being told that skin is the largest organ. Could be wrong on that, as I’m a liberal arts major.

  9. ploeg says:

    As noted in the article:

    McClurkin’s argument actually undermines the “personhood” bills being pushed around the country by other like-minded Republican lawmakers. Those pieces of legislation argue that undeveloped zygotes are people too and should therefore be given full legal rights, thus making abortion — and even certain forms of birth control — illegal.

    Which doesn’t mean that her fellow representatives won’t vote for her bill anyway, so long as the bill has the desired effect of making it harder to get an abortion.

  10. oldster says:

    The awesome part is going to be when her fellow fanatics realize that she has just conceded that fetuses are not persons–any more than your appendix, kidney, or elbow is a person–and then force her into a public self-criticism and confession event where she has to apologize to all the babies for calling them organs.

    Because the women-haters really cannot have it both ways: if they are organs, they are not persons. If they are persons, they are not organs.

    Oh yes, Ms. McClurkin has just brought down a world of hurt on herself, from her own team.

  11. chris says:

    At first I thought she had confused abortion with hysterectomy.

    Sadly, she’s nowhere near as connected to reality as that.

  12. Hogan says:

    The “Never abort anything bigger than your head” Act of 2013.

  13. Kurzleg says:

    The organs of state security are not allowed to function within the borders of your country.

    Organs?

    (Long pause.)

    Yes.

  14. actor212 says:

    In fairness, the skin is ON the body, not in.

  15. Shakezula says:

    Her point of course being that abortions should only be performed in a hospital or ASC, with all of the standards, personnel, equipment and COST associated with having your gall bladder removed.

    This moron wants to pretend that all abortions are late term (perhaps last minute term) which is the only point “removing” [???] a full term Organ Baby would be kind of like aborting an Organ Baby, which is already a major surgical procedure. (Normal vaginal delivery is considered less intensive than late term abortion, which is why you can have your baby at home in the U.S., even if your OB isn’t crazy about the idea.)

    She of course ignores the fact that vast majority of abortions (planned or spontaneous) occur at the point in fetal development where “removing” the “organ” would amount to a skin biopsy. Skin biopsies are not surgical procedures. They are performed in the office under conditions that are less sterile than what is required for performing abortions.

    In short, her claim is wall-to-wall, green and orange shag stupid. But I’m sure it has them ROFL at the AMA, ACOG, ACNM,&c. so there’s that.

  16. efgoldman says:

    The largest organ is the Mighty Wurlitzer that used to be in Wanamaker’s in Philadelphia.

  17. Magatha says:

    What’s gonna give me nightmares is that the other day, some artist guy in Half Moon Bay brought his baby grand piano to the beach, set it on fire, and played it as it burned. (It was some kind of performance art.) Yeah, sure, it’s not technically an organ, but damn, it was a baby grand!

  18. montag says:

    In Alabama, politicians’ hair is smarter than they are.

  19. Yosemite Semite says:

    In politics, stupidity is not a handicap. – Napoleon Bonaparte

    (You could quibble with the translation; I think this pretty much gets the sense right.)

  20. Julia Grey says:

    Mary Sue McClurkin

    Really? That’s her real name?

    It sounds like a bad scriptwriter’s pick for the character she’d otherwise have dubbed “Dimwitted Southern Suburbette.”

    You know, the one who was a cheerleader because she was REALLY cute and peppy, but was a bit of a disappointment anyway because she kept getting lost in the middle of spelling out “W-O-L-V-E-R-I-N-E-S”!

  21. As I’ve stated before, education or intelligence is no necessary qualification to succeed at politics.

    I always liked Ambrose Bierce’s wording (in the Devil’s Dictionary definition of “Brain”):

    … In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

  22. Angry Geometer says:

    “You got an organ goin’ in there. No wonder the sound has so much body.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1p1n-j_MQKE

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