Home / Robert Farley / What Did Bolivia Do to Deserve This?

What Did Bolivia Do to Deserve This?


Imagine opening up a box you think will be filled with “Detroit Tigers: 2012 World Series Champions” hats and t-shirts, and instead finding this:

Beth Cox wore a Mitt Romney T-shirt, a cross around her neck and fresh eyeliner, even though she had been crying on and off and knew her makeup was likely to run. A day after the election, she tuned the radio to Glenn Beck and began pulling posters and American flags off the wall.

Her calendar read “Victory Day!!” and she had planned to celebrate in the office by hosting a dance party and selling Romney souvenirs. But instead she was packing those souvenirs into boxes, which would be donated to a charity that sent clothes to South America. Instead a moving company was en route to close down the office in the next 48 hours, and her friends were calling every few minutes to see how she was doing.

Via Rude Pundit. And if you haven’t seen this, then you just don’t understand schadenfreude.

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  • The Bolivian army with the help of the CIA killed the Left’s most iconic hero, Che Guevara. Certainly making them take Romney shirts is a fitting punishment? Maybe he can become the new Che regarding t-shirt fashions? ;-)

    • Anonymous

      Didn’t they also kill Paul Newman and Robert Redford?

      • Alex

        Exactly. And Made Katherine Ross teh Sad.

      • timb

        Do we know that? We never actually saw their bodies

    • CaptBackslap

      Much like Mike Tyson, Mittens is fading away into Bolivian.

      • Stag Party Palin

        Oh snap! Best pun of the week.

  • blowback

    It’s a shame that Facebook doesn’t have a hate button.

  • The Fool

    Well, if they couldn’t inflict Romney on American poor people…

  • Robert Farley is a warlock.

    I was JUST posting a link to this story elsewhere. Poor Bethie.

    • timb

      It’s unseemly, but I could not stop laughing. I have experience with what she is feeling, but in 2004 I had perspective. She is even more nuts than she was on November 5th

  • Eric

    Maybe it’s to get back at Bolivia for electing Evo Morales?

    • JKTHs

      Then they’ll distribute other shirts to Venezuela, Ecuador, etc.

      • Bart

        But sending that junk to our enemy China will be like sending coals to Newcastle.

  • Blume

    Nashville itself had gone for Obama, and 400,000 more people in Tennessee had signed up for food stamps in the last five years to further a culture of dependency

    Or you know, maybe so that they could eat.

    • daveNYC

      Dependent on food you mean.

    • wengler

      Obama’s #1 socialist ideological goal is to put the whole country on food stamps. And then the world!

  • Malaclypse

    But instead she was packing those souvenirs into boxes, which would be donated to a charity that sent clothes to South America.

    There is a part of me that imagines that a host of money could be made selling Romney Victory! paraphernalia to ironic hipsters. Even more so if you can fashion the Romney gear into a workable bong.

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      First, irony must be resurrected from the dead.

      “Attach the electrodes, Igor! A schadenfruede storm is here!”

    • Holden Pattern

      In fact, if the Republicans were the entrepreneurs they claim to be, that’s exactly what they’d be doing. Instead, they’re sending American resources (well, to be fair, the shirts are probably made in Honduras or Cambodia) abroad as part of the massive flood of foreign aid.

      • Davis X. Machina

        The fabric is Honduran, and the cotton might be from Kazakhstan, but the irony is as American as apple pie.

        • Pestilence

          Apple pie made in Indonesia, of course

  • spencer

    Hey now – at least the Tigers had a realistic chance at winning, going in.

  • ScS

    What a depressing article.

    This part really depressed me:

    But many other aspects of the division seemed fundamental and harder to solve. There was the America of increased secularism that legalized marijuana. And there was her America, where her two teenage daughters are not allowed to read “Harry Potter” or “Twilight,” and where one of them wrote in a school paper: “God is the center and the main foundation of my family.”

    There was the America of gay marriage and the America of her Southern Baptist church, where 7,000 came to listen on Sundays, and where church literature described marriage as “the uniting of one man and one woman.”

    Since when has our political, cultural, or any other institution been homogenous?

    • arguingwithsignposts

      Interestingly, membership in SBC churches (which is always a dodgy number to begin with) has been declining for probably a decade.

    • Malaclypse

      Since when has our political, cultural, or any other institution been homogenous?

      The Pretend 1950s.

      • Bill Murray

        Really, they were always homogeneous when w didn’t recognize the out groups as people

        • Bill Murray

          and even before w, when we didn’t recognize the out groups as people

    • Davis X. Machina

      A church that outdraws the Tampa Bay Rays or Pittsburgh Pirates is a very unhealthy development for the Republic.

    • commie atheist

      Also depressing was her equating of godliness with not being dependent on government support (at least, if you’re poor – she’s concerned about people on food stamps, but I didn’t read anything about military contractors or subsidized farmers). How the hell did those two things get combine? Is there somewhere in the gospels where Jesus says “Blessed is he lets his children starve, rather than go on the dole?”

      • Malaclypse

        It was right after “I can supersize these loaves and fishes for just five shekels.”

    • timb

      That passage showed how far that woman has LOOONNNNGGGG been gone from America as exits. She’s just a typical, boring, spolied evangelical, forbidding a pedestrian book series about friendship and fighting evil and an even more banal series written by a goober Mormon about true, unrequited love.

      In her desire to show everyone how much “moral,” she is from the rest of us, she finds she cannot communicate or understand us. Weird…..

  • CaptBackslap

    When I read the original article, I actually felt a little sorry for Beth Cox, until I got to the part where she doesn’t let her kids read Harry Potter or Twilight. If it had just been Twilight, I would have given her a pass on aesthetic grounds.

    • Green Caboose

      If she was a Mormon Twilight would have been mandatory.

      • I remember an electoral college style map of Twilight popularity wherein it was found that Utah is the state most exposed to twilight and also one of the ones where it’s least liked.

  • Fighting Words

    Venting time…

    I have a question, and maybe this is the right place to ask (probably not). Who should I hate more: George W. Bush or Mitt Romney?

    The reason I ask is that I don’t think that I have ever hated a presidential candidate in my lifetime as much as I hate Mitt Romney. And that includes Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush.

    I know the answer should be obvious. President George W. Bush has a whole laundry list of bad deeds: two failed wars, misleading the public about WMD’s, Katrina, torture, No Child Left Behind, tax cuts that depleated the economy, uber-right wing Supreme Court nominees, staffing government positions with incompetents (sp), etc. He was an absolute disaster as a president, and if I could invent a time machine, I would do anything to stop him from being president. But I am pretty sure that Mitt Romeny would be just as bad, or worse, as president. I feel that this country really, really dodged a bullet this past Tuesday.

    I guess what sets George W. Bush above Mitt Romney is that, at least to me, Bush kinda/sorta cared about working people, whereas Mitt Romeny openly despises them. Sure, Bush’s caring about poor people was entirely superficial, and he never actually DID anything to help working class families. But I get the feeling that he just wanted to be one of “the boys.” Mitt Romeny did not even pretend to like working class people.

    I know that both Bush and Romeny would personally despise me, but for different reasons. George W. Bush would think I am some sort of elitist because I live in the SF Bay Area and I don’t engage in arbitrary activities like listening to Country music or watching NASCAR. In George W. Bush’s world, an office worker like me is an elitist – even if I can’t even get my printer to work, while billionaire oil tycoons are “the boys.” Whereas Mitt Romeny would think that I am some sort of failure because I am not super rich, or that I am some sort of moocher because I vote for the Democrats.

    • FWIW, I actually hate Romney more than Shrub, though I haven’t bothered to analyze it as you have.

      I think, on balance, Romney is marginally more evil and marginally less stupid.

    • Funkhauser

      “My mother hates Nixon, my son hates Nixon, I hate Nixon, and this hatred has brought us together.” http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1994/07/he-was-a-crook/308699/

      Eh, Mitt Romney is now another footnote, and farewell to him. Bush has the blood of thousands on his hands.

      • kerry

        Yeah, Bush did actual, lasting, substantial damage. Romney is fresh in our minds, and it still feels raw, but it will fade – he only ever had potential to do bad things, and thankfully, it will never be realized. (On the other hand, I’m from Mass., and my hatred for Romney feels a lot more personal, after the way he trashed this state.)

        • rea

          Some village-Hampden, that with dauntless breast
          The little tyrant of his fields withstood,
          Some mute inglorious Milton here may rest,
          Some Cromwell, guiltless of his country’s blood.

          Th’ applause of list’ning senates to command,
          The threats of pain and ruin to despise,
          To scatter plenty o’er a smiling land,
          And read their history in a nation’s eyes,

          Their lot forbad: nor circumscribed alone
          Their growing virtues, but their crimes confined;
          Forbad to wade through slaughter to a throne,
          And shut the gates of mercy on mankind . . .

    • joel hanes

      George Bush killed a hundred thousand or more people in Iraq for no good reason.

      That ain’t Pol Pot or Stalin, but nothing Romney has done or will ever do compares.

      • Only because he will now never get the chance.

      • Pestilence

        True, although it’s just a lack of opportunity I think

        • I still wonder to what extent Shrub was even relevant to his own presidency.

          Could the whole thing have been a sham like his phony Texas ranch and shit-kicker persona?

          I have no problem seeing Cheney as the real decider in that administration.

          Am I being unrealistic?

    • somethingblue

      Who should I hate more: George W. Bush or Mitt Romney?

      As a regular reader of this site, I can inform you that the correct answer is Ralph Nader.

      • Pestilence

        not Pink?

      • As a regular reader of this site, I can inform you that the correct answer is Ralph Nader. Jewel.

    • Tricky question. Romney is probably smarter than Bush, and therefore his mendacity seems more culpable. On the other hand, once given the opportunity Bush went for it with gusto. I’m going to go with Bush. Romney will be forgotten shortly, but Bush will always be one of the worst presidents in history.

    • I hate Romney more. Bush was frequently mean-spirited, but I honestly never got the feeling that his malice was intentional. Romney is simply a horrible human being.

  • Something ois seriously wrong with that WaPo article.

    Beth Cox was going to throw a dance and she’s a Southern Baptist?!?

    Gimme a freaquin break.

    • FlipYrWhig

      Gotta gotta cut loose

      • Where would you like your internets delivered?

    • Davis X. Machina

      Well, she was going to celebrate by selling the memorabilia. Bad Baptist, good capitalist — awesome American!

  • Karate Bearfighter

    This is just the War on Drugs, fought by other means. The Bolivians want to stop spraying coca farms with carcinogens from the air? Fine, let’s see how they like it when we send them 100,000 Mitt Romney t-shirts.

  • This reminds me that every time I travel to a poor country, I dream of seeing a Yankees 2001 World Series title t-shirt I can buy.

    • wengler

      You show that to a guy in a Yankees’ cap and there’s a good chance that they will say ‘hey, I remember when we won that!’

  • Jim Lynch

    I spent at least an hour enjoying White People Mourning Mitt Romney’s Humungous Defeat (photo’s & heart wrenching remarks), and could have easily spent a few more.

    I dig schadenfreude.

  • commie atheist

    This is also sad:

    “Virginia went blue? Really?” she said. “Southern-values Virginia?”

    “Southern values?” Is that what they’re calling it these days?

    • timb

      That’s what nice white ladies living in an almost apartheid level of de facto segregation in rural Tennessee calls it

  • David Mathias

    I can think of no better donation to the people of Bolivia than a celebration of the first major arguably Latino candidate for the U.S. Presidency. (Right? Unless there is some weird detail about Franklin Pierce having really been Francisco Perez or something.)

  • I’ve seen quite a few articles and blog posts like this over the last few days. Apart from the flaming bigots, I don’t really want these people to feel bad. I want them to think “Gee, maybe I’m wrong.” But I haven’t seen anything like that in any of these articles or blog posts.

  • timb

    Has anyone heard of these petitions the fever swamps are now a-flutter? Freaking secession petitions. On the White House website

    Absolutely riotous

  • Bernard

    the mindlessness of the Right has always astounded me. the horror of living in an America that is no longer Republican/ white male segregated/ is now a fact these people can not accept.

    almost makes me weep, for joy! almost.
    schadenfreude is best taken in small doses.

    small enough doses to last for the rest of my life.
    the hell (starting with St. Reagan) that these people subjected this country and the world to that preceeded this “schadenfreude experience” is by far nastier than anything hell i could ever imagine for these reality challenged people.

    i especially love the “Rhodesia” comment. now that is Schadenfreude!

  • Halloween Jack

    I haven’t been indulging in schadenfreude the way that some others have been, but when I saw that this Beth Cox person had decorated the campaign office with a big round thing commemorating W’s inauguration, and had a button thanking W for nominating Alito and Roberts to the Supreme Court, I thought, man, I hope that this burns in her chest like a red-hot coal for the next four years. I want to buy a Barack Obama mask and take a trip down to her neighborhood as often as I can just to do a little dance in front of her.

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