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OMIGOD THE CRAZY

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There are so many ways in which this is awesome.

Glenn Beck: Performance Artist.  I’m afraid that all I can do is sit back and give him some well deserved applause. See also Anthea Butler.

UPDATE [SEK]: This needs to be preserved for the sake of future historians and/or to humiliate those who watch FOX:

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  • Fats Durston

    Some of this reminds me of early dieting infomercials: “We’ve done tons of research!” [smacks stack of paper]

    • Fats Durston

      Oh, man, I hadn’t even gotten to “frenemies” when I posted that comment.

      I felt the tiniest bit of sympathy with Glenn, knowing what it’s like to have your brain blank while trying to explain a complex topic in front of an audience. Then I remembered he gets paid millions of dollars to televise what’s really an unending series of blank brain moments.

      (I also need a magnetic chalkboard for my history classes, so I can apply smilies and frownies, and then the younguns can learn history good, since Beck says It’s the Key to Everything.)

      • mark f

        But aren’t you worried that the Lebanese Hezbollah is going to invade Iraq from Iran in order to battle the apparently jetpack-equipped Hamas in Baghdad just because?

        • SEK

          Wait, The Future promised me jetpacks. Are you trying to tell me the American Government gave them to our frenemies first? That’s it, TEA PARTY TEA PARTY TEA PARTY!

          • mark f

            College professors will be among the second wave of American recipients. Welfare queens get them first so the strapping young bucks will have a way to pick up their t-bone steaks.

  • SEK

    “This pro-democracy movement is the result of a progressive agenda.”

    Yes it is, Glenn, yes it is.

    • SEK

      “The entire Mediterranean is on fire!”

      “I believe a snowball is starting to roll.”

      Yes, but Glenn, if a Tunisian snowball rolls into a European fire …

      • Hogan

        Start building the ark! Round up the non-gay animals! Find Mount Ararat on the ma–OH GOD IT’S IN TURKEY NOOOOOOOO

        • mds

          We must act now to fill the good governance void inside Turkey; now is not the time to duck our responsibilities to pro-Israel Middle Easterners because we’re too chicken-hearted. Tear down that Mohammedan star-and-crescent flag flying over the Islamist dictatorship of Turkey, and raise the red-white-and-blue over the new freedom utopia of TURDUCKEN!

  • mark f

    I don’t see what’s so crazy about looking at Egypt and shouting “Bill Ayers! Bernadine Dohrn!”

  • c u n d gulag

    “Ooops, that’s an oilrig. I’ve run out of riots!”

    Just look in the mirror, Glenn.

    You’ve go to give Beckerhead some creadit.

    Everytime you think he’s just reached the Everest of stupidity, the next day he proves that that was just a molehill.

  • Malaclypse

    You know, he really is a remarkable educator. Truly a man for all seasons.

    • What’s scary about this is that Beck’s style – lively, passionate, physical, lots of rhetorical back-and-forth, promises of revelations to come – is precisely what gets really good evaluations from both students and professional educator-trainers. I do some of the same things.

      It goes without saying, without the crazy.

    • DrDick

      True. He is doing his best to act out the entire DSM-IV for the benefit of medical students.

  • Davis

    Just imagine the people who now nothing about the Middle East except what they get from Beck. No CNN, no newspapers, no network news. You’d think that the Muslim Brotherhood is taking over the entire Mediterranean and will destroy Israel, which is what this is all about. The apocalypse. They can’t wait.

  • pad10

    What’s worse than poor people mad at rich people?

    COORDINATED POOR PEOPLE!

    • catclub

      There’s really nothing worse than clumsy poor people.

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  • “America, you’re not getting any useful information at all from the media.”

    Ummm…

    • DrDick

      Especially not Fux Snooz, CNN, or MSNBC.

    • BigHank53

      Point, set, and match!

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  • Ian

    It’s helpful to know that all riots everywhere (from Egypt to the UK) have the same causes. They are coordinated, apparently. Good to know.

    • DrDick

      By the Elders of Zion, I believe.

  • Ed Marshall

    I don’t watch Glenn Beck, but my mouth about hit the floor when he started talking about “The Coming Insurrection”.

    “The Coming Insurrection” advised people to form communes, try to create police “no go” zones, sabotage the infrastructure, and then arm yourselves and get prepared to destroy the state. The whole point of the book is that it’s pointless to care who runs the state and the only alternative is to strike it dead.

    What’s spelled out in Insurrection looks *absolutely* nothing like any of the political protests anywhere on the globe.

    • Malaclypse

      “The Coming Insurrection” advised people to form communes, try to create police “no go” zones, sabotage the infrastructure, and then arm yourselves and get prepared to destroy the state.

      Obviously, only True Patriots and Real Americans should follow this advice.

      • Ed Marshall

        I found the old clip where he originally found “The Coming Insurrection”. He says near the end that he hasn’t read it, but he will when he goes on vacation. I guess he never get around to doing that…….

  • I’m not sure who his audience is, since if things are really that bad, they’d all have been raptured by now.

    • hv

      You would think an omnipotent god could make the raptures run on time.

      • The problem with the Rapture is that it’s very hard to tell apart from the Golgafrinchan Solution. Come to think of it, Beck would make a good Number Two on the B Ark. “My commanding officer told me the planet was about to be eaten by a giant mutant star goat!!!!”

        • ajay

          “Well, you see, the problem with our planet,” said the Captain, “is that it was doomed. So we decided to go off and settle on another one. A less doomed one.”
          “What was wrong with it?” Ford asked.
          “Well, it was doomed, as I say. Possibly a third of the seas were going to turn to blood.”
          “Actually, sir,” said the First Officer diffidently, “I thought it was that the skies were going to become as black as sack cloth, and the moon was going to become as blood.”
          “That’s not what I heard!” hissed the Second Officer. “My commanding officer swore blind that the whole planet was about to be eaten alive by an immense dragon with ten heads and seven crowns arising from the sea that in some way represents the signatories of the Treaty of Rome!”
          “Anyway,” the Captain continued, “it was decided to build three great ships, you see, three Arks in Space. And into the first ark, the A Ark, would go all the secular people, all the atheists and agnostics and humanists. And into the C Ark would go all the people who had well-thought-out beliefs in a higher power or a supernatural world that were grounded in a strong moral sense and a sturdy logical and historical foundation. And into the B Ark -”
          “That’s us,” interjected the First Officer.
          “-would go everyone else. The Real True Christians.”
          “And they sent you off first, did they?” Ford said.
          “Well, yes. Everyone was very nice about it, I must say. They all explained that it was very important that they should eventually evacuate on to a planet with lots of megachurches and well-mown lawns. But, er, the other two ships should be along any moment…”
          “Unless, of course,” Ford said softly, “they were eaten by the ten-headed dragon.”
          “Ah, yes,” said the Captain thoughtfully. “The dragon…”

  • Malaclypse

    You know, it is one thing to point and laugh. But this man is, for 27% of Americans, one of the most trusted figures in America. And look at what he is peddling – secret gnosis tied to a Manichean worldview. This combination never ends well.

    • hv

      You can fool some of the people all of the time.

      It is unsurprising what foolishness those people choose to consume; there is an ecology of excitement and outrage that pushes gnostic, Manichean narratives to the forefront.

      • Malaclypse

        Oh, I know it is not surprising. But since it is an ideology that tends to end in atrocity, it is kind of concerning.

        I’d love to know what they think of Beck in Temple Square. For all their flaws, I do think the LDS General Authorities remember what happened when their church embraced Manicheanism.

    • But this man is, for 27% of Americans, one of the most trusted figures in America.

      Yeah, he’s the Walter Cronkite of crazy.

  • It would be nice if CNN regularly spent 12 straight minutes on a topic about the Middle East, simplifying it into an understandable narrative.

    They would have a lot less false information in their report and it might actually compete with Beck.

    • BigHank53

      Fewer viewers, thought, which is the only thing that matters to CNN management.

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  • Anonymous

    Could we please have media censorship back!!?? If only for such blatantly brainless hate-speech? Oh, that’s the one thing conservatives got right: We need to rethink a lot of our liberal rights. They don’t count for the one’s who are scheming to subvert them.

    • Malaclypse

      Concern troll is concerned.

      • Anonymous

        No, seriously..if they had it in the 19th century for newspapers, couldn’t there be an old-fashioned censorship installed that previews all tv-broadcast a few seconds before its aired? If it was half decent people doing the job for Fox’s broadcast, not much of the sound would remain, I mean some of the presenters look nice,..maybe you could sit through the program with decent music in the background… =) I would watch it ..and recommend it to the young and learning.

        • DocAmazing

          Fox is cable, in the main; simply refusing to pay for their channel should do the trick.

          • Anonymous

            People, always keen to be manipulated, used to pay for their respective napoleonic or prussian propaganda as well, no reason not to censor it.

            • Malaclypse

              You should start a petition. Or take up knitting. Knitting is nice.

              • Anonymous

                Ok, I got it…this is an american website with american style conversation.. I got to adapt..Maybe my European background makes me sceptical of divertisments like petitions or knitting…
                I just like to talk politics… my bad…

              • Malaclypse

                Maybe my European background makes me sceptical of divertisments like petitions or knitting…

                Never be skeptical of knitting.

  • I wanted to hear his supposed “real reason for invading Iraq” (better be better than Tom Friedman’s), but wasn’t able to easily find it linked on youtube. This clip though was surprisingly good, pointing out how America outsources torture through its rendition program in Egypt.

  • Anonymous

    I surrender =)

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