Oh my sweet rapture/I hear Jesus calling me home

If you thought the Rapture Index was soooo 2004…well, you were right. Nevertheless, Rob’s post reminded me that since the Antichrist took the oath of office, I hadn’t much considered our proximity to the EndyTimies. Needless to say, we’re still almost fucked, though it appears that our holding pattern is being prolonged by a stagnation in category 03, where a “lack of [Satanic] activity” is bumming everybody out. What the hell is wrong with you people?