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Will there be acid? Please tell me there will be acid.


I really don’t think I have any choice but to sign up for this:

This July, while others are relaxing poolside, head back to the classroom – from the comfort of your own home. That may sound like an oxymoron but Glenn [Beck]’s new academic program is only available online.

Offered exclusively to Insider Extreme subscribers, Beck University is a unique academic experience bringing together experts in the fields of religion, American history and economics. Through captivating lectures and interactive online discussions, these experts will explore the concepts of Faith, Hope and Charity and show you how they influence America’s past, her present and most importantly her future.

Beck’s “expert” in the field of history happens to be David Barton, a conveyor belt for millennialist pseudohistory whose lack of relevant academic credentials made him a perfect fit for one of the teams selected by the Texas Board of Education to revise the state’s social studies curriculum. (His contributions to the process were, it seems, scrupulously dishonest.) Barton’s necrophilia for George Washington, James Madison and the rest of the founders is legendary; if you have an annoying Facebook friend who’s constantly posting Jeebusly-themed quotations from early American statesmen, the quotation more likely than not derives from Barton’s work. More likely than not the quotations are also unsourced fabrications, but that’s never really bothered Barton, whose attitude seems to be that God wouldn’t have inspired someone to invent them if they didn’t somehow capture the essence of what the founders actually believed.

For $10, it looks like I can gain access to the first four lectures in the series.  Much as I would hate to buy Glenn Beck another few jars of Vicks, I really don’t see how I can pass up this opportunity.

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  • Mr. Trend

    It’s your birthday AND Fourth of July weekend – never was there a better day to sign up for some patriotic dry-humping of erroneous understandings of basic history.

  • c u n d gulag

    Oh yeah, there’ll be acid. ACID stomach.

    To those who think about joining Beck U.,
    I wanna axe, “Wassamatta U.?”*

    I’m unemployed and thought about joining, just for shits and giggles. Instead, when I can, I’ll contribute to a local food bank. It may be an investment in my future.
    Besides, what’s the degree? A BS in Uncivil Engineering? Or is it just a BS in BS?
    Of course, if it could teach me to be a soulless Grifter, it might be worth a lot of money. Is Sarah on the faculty?
    What’s next? Draw a picture of Glenn from a matchbook cover and get an Art Degree?
    Glenn, times about up. Let another crook get a chance. Paging Andy Warhol!

    From the GREAT “Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.”

    • efgoldman

      Did you leave out a link from my favorite cartoon?

      • Tom Allen

        The link was in there, but Boris and Natasha sabotaged it. It’s, like, the first thing they ever succeeded at.

        • c u n d gulag

          Thanks, Tom, nice save, and a great line.
          As for linking things, I am the ‘missing link.’ I can’t do it, and that’s why it’s missing…

  • hunter
    • hunter

      oops. forgot to add the speaker in question is barton

  • DrDick

    You are going to need acid to make sense of anything that is said there I am quite certain.

  • Wouldn’t acid be redundant at BeckU?

  • Roger Ebert has been going to town on BeckU on Twitter, and it is being hashed to death.

  • Some Guy

    Start the debate now for the team names of Beck University. I vote for the Beck U Asthmatics. With their lovable, iconic mascot: Truthy, the History Text Book Made Out of Dry Erase Board for Easy Revision!

    Seriously, though; don’t you have to be accredited to call yourself a University? I mean, outside the obvious realm of child development day care, and coloring books about dental hygiene?

    • Spokane Moderate

      When I grow up, I’m going to Bovine University.

    • I vote for Dusty the Chalkboard.

    • c u n d gulag

      Team name: Beck University Gamecocks.
      Mascot: The Becker Pecker (no, silly – a giant chicken).
      Team name: Beck University Gaydars.
      Mascot: The Becker Pecker (no, silly,- not a giant chicken).

  • Oscar Leroy

    It cracks me up to hear about unaccredited universities. Do you know how freakin’ easy it is for a halfway decent university to attain accreditation?

  • PaminBB

    Interesting curriculum he’s got there:

    “…experts in the fields of religion, American history and economics…”
    “…these experts will explore the concepts of Faith, Hope and Charity…”

    Presumably in that order. Now we know why these people’s “history” ideas are so screwy. They seem unclear on the linear nature of time, and “hope” that it turns out better the next time.

  • Calming Influence

    Oxymoron? I think he means oxymoran.

  • Oblio’s Cap

    @Oscar Leroy:

    Regency, Liberty, and Bob Jones Universities spring to mind…

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