Conspiratorial Thinking and Cope
By Ever since Trump’s second election, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about conspiratorial thinking and how it’s been affecting me and people who inhabit roughly the same place on the idealogical spectrum. This has really come to the fore since the events surrounding Charlie Kirk’s murder.
I’ve seen people doubt the authenticity of the shooter’s text transcripts. I doubted them myself. I still have some doubts, and feel bad about having doubts. I’ve seen people doubt the very outcome of the ’24 election itself. And I was incredibly tempted doubt it myself. I’ve barely stopped myself from doing so. And I’ve been wondering why I’m struggling so hard to deal with reality lately, and I think it’s because everything these days feels surreal, even un real.
It’s worth noting that we’re living in a post-facts world. It doesn’t matter how much you say “Crime is down, Biden’s economy is improving, Trump received support from a hostile foreign power during all three elections, tariffs are taxes, climate change is causing more extreme weather events, vaccines mitigate the worst effects of some viruses, ‘Look, here are pictures of the last president hoarding boxes of classified documents in the shitter.'” A sizable portion of the electorate is just going to ignore the reality of those things. Ten years of Trumpian gaslighting has had huge impact on this country and my psyche.
It’s also worth noting that when it comes to conspiratorial thinking, there’s a severe imbalance between how the right and left deals with it. The left viciously shuts down its own “team mates” when they indulge in conspiracies. The right does not. In fact the right celebrates mass delusion. Now, that–on its face–is terrible. But that compulsion will always give the right an advantage, because being in lockstep makes you more powerful. I’m sorry, it just does.
Obviously the left can’t counter conspiracy with conspiracy; it’s a surefire to way to make an already unstable world even more unstable. There is no “but” to this, really, so I’m not going to say “but.” It’s simply fact that indulging in conspiratorial thinking is bad and dangerous. I will say “however,” here, though.
However, 10 years ago, I never would have imagined that a tubby reality show host and sex criminal with orange skin and a double digit IQ would become president. I never imagined he’d try to pressure public officials to upend elections, I never imagined he’d steal reams of classified documents, I never thought he’d try a coup. And I never thought he’d get away with every goddamn one of those crimes, only to become president again.
Many past presidents have done unadvisable, ethically-challenged, and unambiguously evil things. But none of them have done so much, so quickly and so weirdly; and with the blessing of billionaires, elites, politicians, the media, and half the country. This evil is not banal. It all feels unreal.
Right as it seemed Trump may have been backed into a corner in regards to the Epstein scandal and had obviously had a pretty bad health event, Charlie Kirk was shot. And everything about this, from the timing to the trans bullets has seemed…off. I’m not an idiot. I know that there’s 99.9% chance that this guy is just some awful dipshit from a MAGA family who took his shitty values and instantly imprinted them on his new crusade. But when everything feels awful, and surreal and unreal, it’s hard not to question everything.
It’s hard being liberal. It’s hard knowing the truth will often butt up against what I desire, narratives I prefer. (And that is clearly happening now, on several fronts.) It’s hard knowing I need get to get my shit together and not let myself believe bullshit just because bullshit is comforting. It’s also hard knowing that if anyone could get away with pulling off a fake assassination, it’s Donald Trump.