The child may not be the father of the man, but he is actually president of the United States
By 
Donald Trump is intellectually a dull normal 15 year old, and emotionally a poorly socialized five year old. My friend Steve:
Eventful 48 hours on the Trump feed.
Regime change now to a dozen memes about him bringing peace to the people of Earth with a ceasefire that will last forever after the “Twelve Day War.” (He loves naming things.) Utter obsession about a Nobel Peace Prize. Then when the ceasefire starts looking a little fragile, his inner five year old child comes out. “THE CEASEFIRE IS NOW IN EFFECT. PLEASE DO NOT VIOLATE IT! DONALD J. TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!” Yes, he exclamation marked his signature. And yes, that reads like a note passed during an elementary school unit where the kids play UN. Substantively it’s fine. Stylistically it’s in crayon.
Now he’s mad at both sides for maybe making it a 13 day war, and yells to a reporter that “they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.” They’re ruining everything!
Don’t sleep on his latest messianic turn. He said he thought the ceasefire would last forever, and Israel and Iran will never shoot at each other again. That’s a level of Middle Eastern confidence you should never aspire to. Indicative of something. He used to exhibit a somewhat healthy private contempt for the weirdos who worshipped him, presenting their babies for his blessing and so forth. Now he’s high on his own supply.
Another friend comments:
To repeat the “he declares end states, he does not do policy” theme: He declared peace. He wants his peace prize. If the cease fire doesn’t hold, it’s because he did everything everyone wanted (declared peace!) and the governments of Iran and Israel fucked it up, and now he won’t get his peace prize because of them.
That’s it. That stupid fucking Nobel Peace Prize. The black man was given one for doing NOTHING — UNFAIR! — and I brought eternal peace to the Middle East for ten minutes before those people started fighting again, so I DESERVE one, unlike Obama. I’m better than him. I’m the winner and he’s the loser.
Mommy and Daddy never loved him and now we’re all screwed as a result.