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Throw the whole damn CEO away

A pink piggy bank hangs from a post in a wall
Photo by Vanessa Lee on Unsplash

Screw capitalist pigs. To a wall.

On Wednesday, Whole Foods CEO John Mackey sent out an email to grocery store employees with a list of benefits and options for those who fall sick during the coronavirus pandemic.

Among his six suggestions was an option for employees to “donate” their paid time off (PTO) to coworkers facing medical emergencies.

“Team Members who have a medical emergency or death in their immediate family can receive donated PTO hours,” Mackey wrote in an email reviewed by Motherboard, “not only from Team Members in their own location, but also from Team Members across the country.”

In that same email, Whole Foods also said that it will offer unlimited, unpaid time off during the month of March

Good news! You can not get paid for the next couple of weeks if you want. But wait, there’s more.

and two weeks of paid time off for workers who test positive for Covid-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus—a policy announced this week for all Amazon employees and contractors that has also been adopted by tech companies like Uber, Lyft, and Instacart.

IF you can get through all the hurdles required to get tested and IF you can find a place that’s able to test and IF you aren’t frightened off by the sign that says Beware of the leopard and IF you survive your bout of COVID-19, you can have two weeks PTO, as a treat.

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