In response to the accurate observation that Paul Ryan could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and not lose the New York Times, Nobdy provides an exciting preview of the Next Great Idea from America’s most serious, principled, and deficit-adverse policy wonk, presumably in the voice of the inevitable fawning Jacob Weisberg article that will meet its release:
“Paul Ryan has a bold new plan for preventing people from being shot on Fifth Avenue. A staunch supporter of people not being shot on Fifth Avenue, he has an innovative program to provide vouchers to people that could be used to participate in a cash auction for the right not to be shot on Fifth Avenue. The winners would then be protected by a private police force that is subsidized by a tax on baby formula and insulin for diabetics.
This is a conservative policy solution that will show real results, and demonstrates the kind of innovative policy vision that the fractured and sclerotic Democratic party cannot hope to match, with their hopelessly outdated “nobody should be shot on Fifth Avenue” proposal, which is both revenue negative and impossible to effectively implement.”
OK, but we’d better also fulfill Ryan’s kegger-fueled dream of destroying Medicaid — don’t want poor people to free-ride and hope they can be merely wounded!