AmericansElectUnity’20!

The New York Times is never late to the “ridiculous dreams of third parties by people who apparently know nothing about American electoral politics” party:

Given that two-thirds of Americans don’t believe President Trump to be trustworthy, almost anyone could be a candidate for a serious third-party run if he started early enough to gain full ballot access. Ask your neighbor whether the idea of a Joe Biden-Ben Sasse independent ticket is appealing — with Mr. Biden pledging to serve only four years (to address concerns about his age). Jeff Flake or Bob Corker could be a contender.

Yes, it’s hard to see how a gaffe-prone moderate Democrat with substantial ties to the financial industry and a completely standard-issue Republican reactionary who considers Trump vulgar while fully supporting him in every substantive way could fail to jell as a ticket or attract massive support. (One thing I particularly love about this genre is the tendency to treat president and vice president as positions of equal authority.) Or maybe another standard-issue Republican reactionary who finds Trump vulgar could win although nobody likes them! To be clear, I would strongly support a vanity campaign by any of Flake, Corker or Sasse, which is one reason it won’t happen.

And it gets even worse:

Another possibility: a business executive with a record of sound leadership, moral authority and a quick wit: the financier David Rubenstein, Ginni Rometty of IBM or Jamie Dimon of JPMorgan Chase, perhaps? How about a centrist Republican governor like Larry Hogan of Maryland, John Kasich of Ohio or Charlie Baker of Massachusetts? And then, of course, there’s Oprah.

Jamie Dimon! Another standard-issue Republican reactionary who considers Trump vulgar! FEEL THE EXCITEMENT! Well, these days everyone needs a side hustle.