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“Let Me Show You My Pure Political Positioning Like I Show You My New Tattoo. Me, Me, Me”


Did you need a purity critique of Doug Jones from the left? Well here you go!

Alabama’s special senate election will take place in just a few days and to many around the country the choice seems particularly clear. The Republican Candidate, Roy Moore, has been accused by multiple women of unwanted sexual advances and sexual assault — including a woman who was only 14 years old at the time. Alongside these allegations are Roy Moore’s troubled political history which includes proudly homophobic, transphobic, and racist remarks, as well as theocratic judicial actions that would make even the most strict constitutional conservatives look away in disgust. Let me be very clear: Roy Moore is a wretched, disgusting, pedophilic rapist who deserves absolutely no place in any leadership position.

So, then, most would say, the choice is clear: vote for Doug Jones, the Democratic candidate running against him. Surely, he doesn’t have as terrible a history as Roy Moore? And they would be right! As of yet, Doug Jones has not been publicly accused of sexual assault, has not been removed from his post twice, and has had generally favorable things to say about LGBT inclusiveness. In fact, as he is oft to point out, he helped prosecute the KKK terrorists who, in 1963, bombed a Birmingham church, leading to the death of four young girls. These are all wonderful qualities, even if, excluding the prosecution of the KKK, they are things we would expect most good people to have.

The problem with Doug Jones is revealed not when you point out what he hasn’t done that Roy Moore has, but rather when you look at what Doug Jones says he plans to do, or, as is often the case, not do. At a time when the already abysmal American healthcare system is at threat of being outright gutted by congress, Doug Jones has repeatedly shied away from supporting Bernie Sanders’s Medicare For All plan, and has not backed single-payer healthcare (an immensely popular policy proposal) despite the fact that his very own website states that he believes “Health care is a right, not a privilege limited to the wealthy and those with jobs that provide coverage.” Jones has also shied away from dedicating himself to supporting a $15 livable wage, again, despite the fact that his own website says that he “strongly support[s] ensuring working Alabamians receive a living wage for their hard work.” And, in a time when the college debt crisis is racking up in the trillions of dollars, he has not endorsed any sort of tuition-free college education program, despite — and I know this is getting tiresome — his own website stating that “Providing a quality education to all children is the key to a long-term thriving economy.”

I mean, really, what’s the difference between a pederast theocrat and a fairly liberal guy running for Senate from Alabama who hasn’t endorsed Full Communism? Not enough to matter!

Come election day, Alabamians will have the sacred honor of participating in the democratic process by voting for either a child rapist or a weak-kneed white blob in a suit to go work on Capitol Hill for some unknown corporate donor. Personally, I can’t say that I will be taking part.

And here you have everything wrong with the leftist consumerist model of electoral politics in one paragraph. What kills me about this is that the use of the vote as a vehicle of pure morality that reflects the voter’s identity is the most consumerist, capitalist, individualistic move imaginable. And yet there is barely even a critique of this sort of politics on the left.

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