Ambush

After Fidel Castro died and my response of “Castro did this that was good and he did this other thing that was bad” was picked up by conservative media as “Leftist protestors mourn Castro’s death!”, human malignancy Tucker Carlson wanted me to come on his show. I did not even reply. And there’s a good reason for that, which is obvious when watching anyone foolish enough to go on the show, such as the Washington Post’s Erik Wemple. Pareene speaks wisely:

Also, maybe don’t appear on Tucker Carlson’s show in the first place?

If you’re a person who strives to be honest and forthright in your work, and especially if you are a person who is not a trained and experienced professional on-air personality, you are at an immediate disadvantage the moment you agree to be on a cable news show, especially one hosted by someone utterly lacking in shame. You, the ambushee, receive no benefit from agreeing to appear on a bad cable news show as a designated punching bag. You get nothing, unless you’re really excited to get a free ride in a town car to a TV studio. Maybe if you really want someone to apply a lot of pancake makeup to your face but you are too nervous to ask someone at the Macy’s counter, appearing on Fox News to be harangued by a washed-up fraud is worth it.

Otherwise, there’s no upside to this sort of thing, besides maybe, if you’re lucky, a decent, post-show, setting-the-record-straight blog post. No matter how smart and conscientious you are, you are not equipped to fight back effectively, because you are playing a rigged game.

Ideally, no one should ever agree to be on cable news, ever, especially the sort of people who really want to be on cable news, all of whom should be in jail. But normal, decent people should, at the very least, stop agreeing to appear on shows like Tucker Carlson Was Cheaper And Less Likely To Sue For Sexual Harassment Than Most Of The Alternative Host Options For This Slot.

Journalists, bloggers, reporters, random people whose beliefs or appearance can be easily caricatured: Next time that booker emails you, just say “fuck off.”

Now I actually regret not responding to Carlson’s booker, telling her what a terrible person she is.