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Neither a Slate Pitch nor a Hot Take


Please allow me to present, the Glue Snort.

Why Liberals Should Vote for Marco Rubio
Democrats must do everything they can to prevent Donald Trump’s nomination—like supporting the one man with a chance to beat him.

Or perhaps the Meth Hit?

Marco Rubio would be a terrible president.

Agreed, bye-bye.

Still, if I lived in any of the nine Super Tuesday states that allow non-Republicans to vote in their GOP presidential primary, I would cross over—forfeiting my chance to cast a ballot for Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders—and vote for Rubio. Other liberals should do the same. Those who can should write him checks. Whatever it takes to stop the nomination of Donald Trump.

There are three arguments against what I’m proposing.

1. It’s stupid.
2. It’s really stupid.
3. If the author doesn’t know it’s stupid, it’s because he’s high.

The third argument against liberals supporting Rubio is that America will benefit if Trump destroys the Republican Party. If the GOP splits, or loses massively this fall, then perhaps moderates will regain influence and the Republican Party—or whatever supplants it—will stop denying climate change, stop refusing to vote on judges, and stop pushing the United States to the brink of financial default. Maybe as a result of Trump, the party’s “fever may break.”

I understand the argument’s allure, but it’s reckless. Although it’s highly likely Trump would lose a general election, there are no guarantees. Hillary Clinton could be indicted. Terrorists could strike two days before Americans head out to vote. If nothing else, the course of the presidential race so far should instill a healthy modesty in anyone inclined to make blanket assertions about what will happen in six months.

We just don’t know what may happen! There are too many unknown knowns! We must have the possibly electable Sen. Rubio positioned to be our fall-back president rather than the impossibly electable T-Rump in case something happens because the future is unpredictable!! Also, lines people. LINES.

But we do know this: Once Trump is nominated, America will have crossed a line.

Le gasp! This line, is it in … the sand???

A man who does not respect constitutional limits and who preys upon vulnerable minorities will lead one of the two major parties. The consequences, though hard to measure, could be profound.

Or, we could think back to the last time a Republican was in the White House.

Sometimes even a morally corrupt status quo is better than what follows. A Trump nomination would represent a leap into a terrifying political unknown.

OMG, more unknowns! What can we do??

Liberals should try to forestall it by backing Marco Rubio. And if we fail, we should implore conservatives to help stop Trump by backing Hillary Clinton.

Seriously, WTF?

Although the polarization in American politics today is vast, there are still norms that both decent liberals and decent conservatives cherish, and do not wish to see smashed. Across the ideological divide, it’s time to close ranks.

For some of us, it is time to check into rehab.

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