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Lots of salt, light on the butter please

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popcorn

They all started laughin and I felt kinda sick
And I knew I better think of something pretty quick
So I just reached out and kicked old green teeth right in the knee

Now he let out a yell that’d curl yer hair
But before he could move I grabbed me a chair
And said “Now watch him folks cause he’s a thoroughly dangerous man!”

“You may not know it but this man is a spy.
He’s a undercover agent for the FBI
And he’s been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan!”

He was still bent over holdin’ on to his knee
But everybody else was looking and listening to me
And I laid it on thicker and heavier as I went

I said, “Would you believe this man has gone as far
As tearing Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars.
And he voted for George McGovern for President.”

“Well, he’s a friend of them long haired, hippie-type, pinko fags!
I betcha he’s even got a commie flag
tacked up on the wall inside of his garage.”

“He’s a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys.
He may look dumb but that’s just a disguise,
He’s a mastermind in the ways of espionage”

They all started lookin real suspicious at him
And he jumped up and said “Now just wait a minute Jim!
You know he’s lying I been living here all of my life!”

“I’m a faithful follower of Brother John Birch
And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church.
And I ain’t even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!”

LAS VEGAS – Senator Ted Cruz fired his communications director Monday after the campaign circulated a doctored video that appeared to show Senator Marco Rubio disparaging the Bible, further inflaming the open warfare between the campaigns, with Mr. Rubio saying the episode reflected a pattern of dishonesty by Mr. Cruz.

The decision by Mr. Cruz comes as his campaign has been facing mounting allegations of dirty tricks by Mr. Rubio’s team over the false story. But Mr. Cruz has also been getting hammered for weeks after his allies spread a rumor that Dr. Ben Carson was suspending his campaign – just as voting in Iowa began.

And the dismissal of the aide, Rick Tyler, comes at an inopportune moment for Mr. Cruz, who faces a primary in his home state of Texas a week from tomorrow.

Mr. Tyler, the communications director, had posted a story on Facebook with a video of Mr. Rubio and a transcript that claimed to show the Florida senator saying there are “not many answers” in the Bible. In fact, Mr. Rubio had said it has “all the answers.”

Mr. Rubio’s spokesman, Alex Conant, cried foul, and Mr. Cruz announced this afternoon in Nevada that he was firing the aide.

“I’ve spent this morning investigating what happened and this morning I asked for Rick Tyler’s resignation,” Mr. Cruz told reporters during a news conference here in Las Vegas, Nevada. “I have made clear in this campaign that we will conduct this campaign with the very highest standards of integrity.”

Mr. Cruz went on to call Mr. Tyler a “good man,” but that his sharing of the news story was “a grave error in judgment.”

“It is why, when other campaigns attack us personally, impugn my integrity or my character, I don’t respond in kind,” said Mr. Cruz. But he also dismissed the outrage from Mr. Rubio’s team.

“I understand that Marco’s campaign believes its political advantageous to try to distract the topic from his own record,” he said. But he added, “The standards of conduct in this campaign have been made absolutely clear for every member of the campaign.”

The episode is likely to create another opening for Donald J. Trump, who has used his enormous media megaphone to trumpted allegations of misdeeds by the Cruz campaign, using them as the basis of negative ads.

Mr. Cruz’s quick action was a major difference from how he immediately handed the complaints from Mr. Carson after Iowa, which was to blame a CNN report. CNN has said Mr. Cruz is mischaracterizing their reporting.

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