OLDMAN CAT v. TV
By (SEK is watching an episode of The Good Wife featuring an investigator who can’t seem to find a babysitter. OLDMAN CAT is asleep at the foot of the bed.) OLDMAN CAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
SEK: What the fuck is what?
OLDMAN CAT: YOU DIDN’T HEAR THAT SHIT
SEK: I heard no shit.
OLDMAN CAT: MOTHERFUCKING DEVILS FROM HELL COME TO EAT US
SEK: I heard no devils from anywhere with any intent.
OLDMAN CAT: YOU SERIOUSLY CAN’T HEAR THAT
SEK: I seriously hear nothing.
OLDMAN CAT: IT’S THE SOUND I MAKE WHEN YOU PUT ME IN THE BLENDER
SEK: I’ve never put you in the blender.
OLDMAN CAT: BUT THE NEXT TIME YOU DO THAT’S WHAT I’LL SOUND LIKE
SEK: Are you talking about the baby?
OLDMAN CAT: WHAT IS BABY
SEK: The little person on the television.
OLDMAN CAT: THEY PREFER “DWARF”
SEK: Now you’re just being a dick. Go back to bed, I’ll mute it the next time the baby’s on screen.
(Five minutes pass)
OLDMAN CAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
SEK: You in a blender, I hear…