Concerning John Nolte’s scrotums

I post a link to this sketch from Mr. Show a little too often, but only because it’s so regularly germane:

More and more, I read conservatives and find myself taking umbrage at their anatomical logic. Case in point, John Nolte’s review of The Hunger Games:

In Panem, the left’s idea of “equality” has finally been achieved. There’s “them” and then there’s “us.”  “They” are our know-betters, our elite overlords, living in wealthy decadence and devoted only to pleasure. We, on the other hand, are all equally poor, desperate, and starving.

This class system is also known as socialism.

He doesn’t know what words mean, does he? The “class system” in which a wealthy elite toy with the proletariat for fun and profit is “also known as socialism”? A “class system” predicated on state-mandated income inequality is “also known as socialism”? I’m not saying the film isn’t open to interpretation: liberals see in it an indictment of the 1 percent while conservatives see liberal elites with their big government and pet press-corp ruling from the Capitol. I get that.

But what I can’t understand is how a self-professed conservative can look at a “class system” in which the wealth is so mightily sequestered that the images of District 12 could come straight from the pages of The Pornography of the IWW and declare the system depicted to be socialist. That’s one hank of unbraided hair that’ll never be untangled.