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Dept. of Corrections

On September 21, 2007

At 12:54 am

In back in my day we weren't expected to be available 24 hours a day and we liked it

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Lindsay has the news about NYC subway stations being wired for cell phone use. However, there is one minor error:

If everything goes according to plan, all 277 underground stations will get cell phone service within 6 years. Unfortunately, the tunnels won’t be wired.

Must be a typo. Here’s the corrected version:

Fortunately, the tunnels won’t be wired, so that people –some of whom are probably the same people who triple egress time from the subway because they can’t wait to get to the top/bottom of the stairs to check their goddamned messages — won’t make subway rides completely unbearable by producing a cacophony of voices on their goddamned cell phones.

Whew, dodged a bullet on that one.

…Kvetch offers a preview of when (God forbid) the tunnels are wired:

“Hello? HELLO? Hey, it’s me. What’s going on? I said WHAT’S GOING ON? WHAT? Nothing, I’m on the subway. What? No, THE SUBWAY! Hold on, you’re dropping out. WHAT? I said YOU’RE DROPPING OUT!! Six train, downtown. No, DOWNTOWN! Yeah. So, anyway, what’s going on? What? I said… WHAT? I SAID WHAT’S GOING ON?!? Yeah, nothing with me either. What? I SAID…”
I can’t wait.

When that happens, please shoot me.