Baby’s First Methamphetamines

A brief public service announcement here to any new or soon-to-be new parents in the greater LG&M area: I cannot recommend strongly enough against giving your sick, six-month-old child a “slightly larger than recommended” dose of Tylenol Infant Cold and Cough at, say, 11:30 in the evening. Unless (like me, evidently) you prefer to spend much of your night listening to your child babble incoherently and kick her feet enthusiastically against the bars and mattress of her crib. If my daughter were able to walk, I am pretty confident she’d have stolen her father’s laptop and robbed a liquor store by now.