The Ballad of the Whiny "Nice Guy"

Speaking of Randy Newman, as an addendum to Amanda’s lyric inhabiting the lament of the guy who resents the fact that attractive women, I note that Newman’s “Lover’s Prayer” did the job effectively:

Don’t send me no young girl to love me
With their eyes shinin’ bright
All the young girls are afraid of me
Send me a woman tonight

Don’t send me no hand-holdin’ baby
‘Cause I been with babies before
Don’t send me nobody that’s crazy
Don’t send me no young girls no more

I was entertaining a little girl in my rooms, Lord
With California wines and French perfumes, Lord
She started to talk to me about the War, Lord
I said, “I don’t want to talk about the War.”

Don’t send me nobody with glasses
Don’t want no one above me
Don’t send nobody takin’ night-classes
Send me somebody to love me

Please answer my prayer
Please answer my prayer
Please answer my prayer

It captures “nice guy” ressentiment so well that it follows a song about a stalker and the character is only marginally less creepy…

…also note Hugo’s haiku in comments:

My cold winter bed:
Lovely women surround me
Yet none dumb enough