Academy of the Overrated

Lindsay has asked me to participate in the “Caesar’s Bath” question–i.e., five things that similarly situated people tend to like that you don’t really get. Unfortunately, many of the the best answers (Lord of the Rings, Sex and the City, people who call comic books “graphic novels”) have already been cherry-picked by others. Some obvious answers (the NBA, Everybody Loves Raymond) are things very few people I know or with similar tastes seem to like either. So we’ll try these:

1)Harper’s: Matt may be right that The Atlantic is more overrated, but the decline here is just remarkable. I let my long-term subscription lapse this year, and I think this decision was right given that the only thing about the previous year’s issues I recall is the excerpts from What’s the Matter with Kansas? As if to compensate for being a particularly embarrassing Nader lickspittle, Lewis Lapham turned to Bush criticism even I am tempted to call shrill; the centerpiece articles were like Nation articles, except that they somehow managed to be far longer and yet less detailed. Nor have Lapham’s observations about how people he meets at Upper East Side cocktail parties and international trade conferences are reactionary suddenly become less irritating. Given that just 5 years ago this was easily the best magazine I read regularly, this is pretty depressing.

2)New York Pizza: Here’s the thing: the median pie in my neighborhood in Seattle was significantly better than anything I’ve tried in New York. NYC certainly is impressive in terms of the quantity of establishments, but the quality tends to be pretty mediocre. Now I’m sure there are any number of special places I haven’t tried yet etc., etc., but this is a reputation that seems pretty overinflated. (Contrast with the takeout Chinese, awful in Seattle but even in the provinces here I can get tasty, healthy Chinese food for 5 bucks until 2 AM.)

3)Moby: KEXP is an amazing radio station. But the Achilles Heel of John Richards’ otherwise first-rate morning show is the apparent requirement that Moby be the most-played artist, and if he has a new album out his share of the playlist seems to be pegged at a 20% minimum. Unlike many artists I dismiss I actually tried in this case; bought Play,put on headphones, chuckled condescendingly at the earnest position papers in the liner notes, and noticed that it was pleasant enough but bland, and the second half wasn’t even catchy. It’s not bad, exactly, in the way that Nickleback or Mariah Carey are, but it’s not remotely interesting enough to justify its reputation. And yet, unless the tracks from the other albums I’ve heard are grossly unrepresentative, Play is infinitely superior to its followups, unless you’ve run out of Ambien. Seems like a nice guy, though.

4)Richard Linklater: I should probably know better than to risk the wrath of tasteful, sharp-tounged Austinites like Norbizness and Amanda Marcotte, but seriously, what do people see in this guy? Dazed and Confused was watchable, but far too slight for the praise it gets–maybe you had to be there. But with the caveat that I didn’t see the Jack Black thing it’s certainly by far his best film. Before Sunrise is interesting only if you’re interested to see tedium and pretension engage in an escalating death match. Waking Life did have cool animation, but also seems under the impression that one should give a rat’s ass what Richard Linklater thinks about Kierkegaard. I delegate the rest of this comment to Armond White.

5)Vodka: It’s often expensive, and if it’s good it doesn’t taste like anything. What’s the upside here? I don’t mind a mixed fruity drink every once in a long while, but straight up? (I won’t even get into how appalling it is to call something without gin in it a “martini.”) And the rise of the cosmo is another reason to hate Sex and the City.

“Honorable” mention: Neal Stephenson, Ryan Adams, The X-Files, martial arts movies.

I hereby extend invatations to Julie Saltman, Perfesser B, and the aforementioned Norbizness. And since I suspect at least one of these parties may have already been interpolated, a bonus fourth invatation to iocaste.