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Symbolism so subtle that it’s painted itself purple and is dancing naked on a harpsichord while singing ‘Subtle symbolism is here again’

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It must have been really bad if it knocked the DOPUS out of jibbermode.

At any rate, there are a number of possible presiduncial responses to the event:

  1. Sue the sun for making his fans sick.
  2. Make it all about him, and how devoted people are to him. Increasingly ridiculous exaggerations about the number of people who passed out ensue.
  3. Claim they were Democratic plants sent to cause trouble.
  4. Find out the names of the fallen so he can sell them Purple Hearts.
  5. All of the above at some point in a 24-hour period.
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