Home / General / Isn’t bribing somebody to get your kid into USC like bribing the maitre d’ at Olive Garden?

Isn’t bribing somebody to get your kid into USC like bribing the maitre d’ at Olive Garden?


Yes I know it’s a real “exclusive” school now.  In my day it stood for University of Spoiled Children.

Actresses and chief executives are among 50 people arrested in a nationwide college admissions cheating scam, authorities announced Tuesday.

According to charging documents, actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin are among those involved facing charges.

The suspects allegedly paid bribes of up to $6 million to get their kids into elite colleges, including Yale, Stanford, Georgetown and USC. . . .

Authorities say parents would pay him a predetermined amount, with full knowledge of what they were doing. He would then steer the money to one of two places: either an SAT or ACT administrator, or a college athletic coach.

The coaches would allegedly arrange a fake profile that listed the prospective student as an athlete, and exam administrators would either hire proctors to take the test or correct the answers of a student.

The bribes ranged from a few thousand dollars to up to 6 million, according to officials. The charging documents, unsealed in Boston federal court, are more than 200 pages long.  . .

Federal agents say they have recorded telephone calls with Huffman and a cooperating witness.

The documents say that Loughlin and her husband “agreed to pay bribes totaling $500,000 in exchange for having their two daughters designated as recruits to the USC crew team — despite the fact that they did not participate in crew — thereby facilitating their admission to USC.”

Officials say they have emails from Loughlin.


(1) A plutocracy can’t be a meritocracy.

(2) Very little attention is given to how elite schools significantly cut admissions standards for people who participate in Rich White Person sports like “crew.”  For instance, kids get into Princeton because they’re good at squash, which is a sport you’re not legally allowed to play unless you went to St. Grottlesex. Faking an identity as a participant in an already-fake sport is pretty special though.

(3) Trump is a symptom more than a cause.  We’re on the fast track to banana republic status.

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