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‘Merica! The Greatest Nation in Human History and God’s Gift to Humanity!

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When people can’t understand why people would be communists even after the 1939 Hitler-Stalin Pact and thus damn them for turning a blind eye to the horrors of Stalinism, I like to retort that I can’t really see the difference between that and Americans today reflexively saying that the United States is the greatest country in human history. Such an assertion is completely absurd and supported by no evidence at all. For example:

Reason number 4,823 to move to Scandinavia: Norway is the best country on Earth for children.

That’s according to Save the Children, which issued its first ever End of Childhood Index, measuring worldwide youth health and well-being. Slovenia rated second, followed by Finland, the Netherlands and Sweden.

Out of 172 countries, the States came in at relatively embarrassing 36, well behind most of Europe. Perhaps Melania Trump should skip the move to D.C. and move Barron to Slovenia.

The report identifies eight factors that effectively ruin childhood across the globe: poor diet, lack of schooling, infant death, child marriage, child labor, teen pregnancy and regional conflict. Based on reports from global organizations, the countries are judged on each factor, then the average determines the global ranking.

Bland hopes the U.S. ranking at 36 will inspire policymakers to look at countries higher up on the list to figure out what they’re doing differently — how are we not beating financially unstable Greece?

“One in four children worldwide are missing out on the childhoods they deserve. It should alarm everyone, it should spark our consciousness.”

We can’t be behind Greece! Everyone knows this is the greatest country in human history! Even if our children are getting pregnant, living in poverty, and eating Cheetos while home alone watching Duck Dynasty as mom works her 3rd minimum wage job.

In other words, ideology is a hell of a drug.

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