Home / Republican malgovernance / No, Mr. Bondevik, I expect you to cry

No, Mr. Bondevik, I expect you to cry


I wonder how long it will be until people who have looked at Iran on a map will be detained at his MAGAsty’s pleasure? Assuming it hasn’t happened already.

A former prime minister of Norway has spoken of his shock after he was held and questioned at Washington Dulles airport because of a visit to Iran three years ago.

Kjell Magne Bondevik, who served as prime minister of Norway from 1997-2000 and 2001-05, flew into the US from Europe on Tuesday afternoon to attend this week’s National Prayer Breakfast.

He was held for an hour after customs agents saw in his diplomatic passport that he had been to Iran in 2014. Bondevik said his passport also clearly indicated that he was the former PM of Norway.

“Of course I fully understand the fear of letting terrorists come into this country,” he told ABC7. “It should be enough when they found that I have a diplomatic passport, [that I’m a] former prime minister.

“That should be enough for them to understand that I don’t represent any problem or threat to this country and [to] let me go immediately, but they didn’t.”

Oh dear. Apparently being a few generations removed from actual vikings does not outweigh being foreign, promoting human rights and visiting a country selected at random by the Temper Tantrum in Chief in MAGAmerica. If he comes back he should say he’s from the Free Anders Breivik League.

Bondevik, who is the president the Oslo Centre, a human rights organisation, said he was placed in a room with travellers from the Middle East and Africa who were also facing extra scrutiny.

It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a MAGA hat.

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  • so-in-so

    I’m sure most Trumpistas couldn’t find Iran on an unlabeled map, so the test should be fairly easy. “You correctly identified Iran, please step to the holding cell for deportation”. If they get some smarty pants liberals too, they’ll see that as a bonus.

    • efgoldman

      I’m sure most Trumpistas couldn’t find Iran on an unlabeled map

      I’d bet my house that Tangerine Temper Tantrum can’t find Iran OR Norway on a map. Nor Syria, Crimea, Ukraine, Nebraska….

      • tsam

        I won’t find Nebraska just on principle alone.

        • Hogan

          Why would you want to?

          • tsam

            If there was a huge lasagna waiting for me, I’d consider it. Otherwise, NO WAY, MAN.

            • Colin Day

              There’s Malara’s. It’s in Omaha, just across the Missouri River from Iowa:

              Malara’s Italian Restaurant

              I’m not connected to them.

              • N__B

                I’m not connected to them.

                I’m sorry to hear that, because the image of a rigatoni umbilical carrying red sauce appeals to me greatly.

            • BobBobNewhartNewhartSpecial

              I won’t find Nebraska just on principle alone.

              If there was a huge lasagna waiting for me, I’d consider it.

              Nebraska lasagna! Who wouldn’t consider it. Mmmm.

        • Murc

          I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura!

          • BiloSagdiyev

            Slow down there, maestro! There’s a new Mexico?

            • Ramon A. Clef

              State Motto: Not really new, not really Mexico.

            • rea

              I’m reliably informed that Trump plans to deport all Nuevo Mexicanos.

        • sigaba

          Nebraska gave us Alexander Payne, but apart from that its case is iffy.

    • JMP

      Fox “News” apparently knows where Iran is, but not Iraq or Egypt.

  • Well, at least they didn’t ship him off to a Syria to live in a coffin-size box for a year. So there’s that.

    • kayden

      Or waterboard him into admitting that he was a member of ISIS. That should come later when Trump passes an EO okaying torture.

  • tsam


    • efgoldman


      What’s next, banning gravlax?
      Oh, the humanity.
      More seriously, we’re taking it for granted that Coral Canker is incompetent on his best days, and stupid beyond belief the rest of the time. But how did it get down to the actual operational level so fast? A fucking diplomatic passport? Good christ.

      • tsam

        Thing is, I don’t believe a trip to Iran in the passport history as a barring factor was even in the Nuremberg Order. I think some shitbag CBP officer took it upon their-self to do this. Now this kind of shit could happen at any time–people who work those jobs are human, and there are just as many dumbfucks doing that as any other job. The problem is that the atmosphere is promoting and failing to discipline this sort of thing, which means it’s become self-sustaining. That’s really super not good.

        • ericblair

          That’s exactly what happened I’m sure: the environment enabled the dime-store Nazis that infest the CBP to fuck with everyone and everything to their shriveled little hearts’ content. The same way that hate crimes went through the roof in the UK after Brexit.

          Trying to appease authoritarian bigots doesn’t work. Period. Validate their feelings, understand their anxieties, and they beat up more Others. You make them kneel to a more powerful force or demoralize them until they don’t come out of their basements.

          • nixnutz

            As an aside this could also serve as my explanation for why I will never go to Burning Man or the Alamo Drafthouse.

        • Taylor

          Exactly. Stories of people on work visas who go on vacation maybe back to see family, then some Nazi at the border doesn’t like the cut of their jib and they’re barred from re-entering the country. Sure you can get a lawyer, and in a few months and after spending thousands of dollars you could get the decision over-ruled, meanwhile your job is long gone, so who would bother.

          Trump has just greenlit this behavior as SOP for those in CBP that are so inclined.

          Not all CBP the same. You learn which offices to avoid (e.g. Detroit).

          • Chetsky

            I remember back in the day (when it was called the INS) lotsa stories about INS officials demanding bribes, sex, you name it. B/c they could, natch.

      • njorl

        Getting it “down to the actual operational level” isn’t a problem. A civilized society is one which continuously prevents the lowest ranks of the security apparatus from becoming goons. If you want the goons, it’s just a matter of letting your foot off the brake.

        • Mike G

          Some of the “deregulation” Trump The Insult Colonic Dolt is ranting about.

      • so-in-so

        Because it’s always been there at the operational level, C.F. all the murders-by-cop that get excused. The Orange Menace just assures them there will be no down side.

        What njorl said.

    • Calming Influence

      He was so close. If Norway had followed Sweden’s response to the Nazis in WWII, this guy coulda sailed right through customs.

      ETA: 1/4 Swede, 1/4 Norge, 100% American.

  • Simple Mind

    HS back to their old tricks, I see. In the mid-2000’s they used to detain Air France cabin crew and bus them to a facility in Kentucky. They did not stop with lowly air personnel –>Prince and Princess of Spain in Miami ’cause Spain pulled out of The Iraquagmire and thereafter the PM of that country was declared persona non grata. So much for NATO allies…

    • The Lorax

      It’s easy to forget how bad the Bush years were.

      • Abbey Bartlet

        Exactly as bad as the H Clinton years would have been!!!

  • (((Malaclypse)))

    This is about letting the UN know we don’t want their kind around any more.

  • njorl

    He went to Iran and he’s the president of a human rights organization. That’s 2 things they don’t like! Putting 2 and 2 together is also something they don’t like.

    • Colin Day

      Putting 2 and 2 together is also something they don’t like

      MATH IS HARD!!

  • randy khan

    Well, that will improve our standing in the EU.

    • Murc

      Pedantry: Norway is not in the EU.

      • randy khan

        Well, wrong on the presumption, but probably still right on the impact.

  • Nobdy

    Not a terrorist? The man was probably planning to come here and teach others how to make lutefisk, which should definitely be considered a biological agent.

    Plus his country promoted the most terror inducing concept of all. Socialized medicine.

    We cannot accept refugees from Scandinavian hellholes if we are to survive.


    • The danger posed by lutefisk to civilisation cannot possibly be overstated.

      • tsam

        This statement is irrefutable.

      • lizzie

        There’s a Minnesota Supreme Court case involving a mink rancher who sued a lutefisk factory because he fed lutefisk trimmings from the factory to his mink and they all died.

    • Warren Terra

      If you’re worried about Lutefisk, it’s only because you’re not familiar with Surströmming.

      • tsam

        There aren’t enough nopes on the planet…

        • I did not think it was possible for an ostensible food item to be even less appealing than lutefisk. I now see that I was horrifically wrong.

          To be fair, though, Surströmming appears to be a Swedish “delicacy”, while lutefisk is Norwegian, so I suspect the larger danger from a Norwegian PM would be lutefisk.

          • Warren Terra

            I have family living in Norway, and they’re very aware of Surströmming. I don’t know how widespread it is, but it’s a part of Norway, too.

            Favorite Surströmming fact: there are people whose profession it is to assess Surströmming cans, and to determine whether it’s safe to attempt to open one, and to consume its contents.

            • N__B

              “My eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!”

          • wjts

            I did not think it was possible for an ostensible food item to be even less appealing than lutefisk. I now see that I was horrifically wrong.

            I see you are unfamiliar with kæstur hákarl and casu marzu.

            • catbirdman

              Ah, yes, Hákarl! I used to party with Icelanders, and so smelled it a time or two — barf! “Those new to it may gag involuntarily on the first attempt to eat it because of the high ammonia content.”

            • I was, yes. I will now attempt to locate some brain bleach.

              • rea

                Please, no–the combination of Hakar and bleach will release poisonous gas (seriously).

                • Thanks for the warning. What do I do to remove the unpleasant memories, then?

            • Abbey Bartlet

              I see you are unfamiliar with … casu marzu.

              I didn’t know it was possible to gag just from reading a WIkipedia article. I wish I still didn’t know that.

            • lizzie

              Best quote from the Wikipedia article about casu marzu: “Some who eat the cheese prefer not to ingest the maggots.”

          • BobBobNewhartNewhartSpecial

            I did not think it was possible for an ostensible food item to be even less appealing than lutefisk.

            Show some respect for the Koreans, they have an ammonia-fish “delicacy” known as Hongeohoe:


            The aroma of one of South Korea’s most popular delicacies is regularly compared to rotting garbage and filthy bathrooms. And that’s by fans.

      • The Lorax

        When I was living in Sweden I couldn’t find anyone who actually would admit to eating the stuff. But I saw cans of it around. All bulging from the rotting fish inside.

      • sigaba

        I have eaten and enjoyed surströmming. Granted that was after half a bottle of akvavit.

        • Brad Nailer

          The Isan Thais have a similar thing. It’s a beef dish that’s called a name that is not transliterable into English but that translates into “sliced beef in blood,” which is to say the flesh and blood of the slaughtered cow. It’s spiced up to hell and back and eaten with sticky rice and plenty of beer. Suffice to say that the Bangkok Thais look at you funny if you tell them you’d like a serving of it. I ate it–many times; it was the centerpiece of our Sunday brunch–and lived.

    • Booger

      Pedantry rears its ugly head again: I believe lutefisk is saponified, not fermented. But I’m not going to find out.

  • Simple Mind

    Have been reading History Unfolding for years, and never have things been darker for us:

    Scenario I: Trump eliminates much of the Federal Government and destroys the political influence of the blue states;

    Scenario II: Civil war;

    Scenario III: The Administration does not survive Trump’s own leadership;

    Scenario IV: We get involved in a confrontation and war with a foreign state (Bannon’s fave I’d wager).

    It seems III is the best we can hope for.

    • tsam

      III would be the easiest to repair in the aftermath, though it also seems vanishingly unlikely with people just as evil as Trump running Congress. The only difference between Trump and his Congressional counterparts is that Trump DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK. You can call that guts, stupidity or whatever, but he does not care about anything involving government besides all the sweet loot he’s going to walk away with when this is over.

      • Honey badger don’t care. Honey badger don’t give a shit.

      • Trump does not give a fuck because of his vanity and sense of self-importance. I rewatched Downfall recently and Hitler’s attitude at the end that Germany deserved to be in ruins because it was weak and insufficiently appreciative of him will reflect Trump’s attitude toward the USA when his downfall comes.

        • farin

          Once again, the recent research into the German Donald’s amphetamine habit seems relevant.

      • Ramon A. Clef

        Actual conversation I had with Mrs. Clef after picking her up from the airport tonight:

        Me: I’m real low on gas.
        Her: Can we fill up tomorrow morning? I’m really tired.
        Me: What if Il Douchebag starts a war tonight, and the price of gas doubles tomorrow?
        Her: …Better stop.

    • alexceres

      Scenario I is a lot more difficult to achieve than it would seem. The feds employ vast numbers of people and corporations have a lot of money tied up in it. Radically cutting it means unemployment and an end to the money tree for important people. Much more likely to go down the path that Bush went do with new deregulated rules for government contract bidding and pervasive corruption.

      Also, you can’t destroy the political influence of 200M people without ending all pretense of democracy and leading to scenario II

      Scenario II seems most improbable. Everybody loses, double plus especially the wealthiest elites of the country. The blue states won the last election by 3M votes. The system can still return them to power. The red states depend on the massive GDP of the blue states, and bombing it would be like cutting your own dick off and burning your own money for sport.

      Scenario III, certainly possible, but I think Trump makes it to the end of his term. Whether or not the GOP is a smoldering ruin by then depends on how much propaganda and blame can shift the administration’s failures onto Others (Immigrants, Liberals, Domestic Enemies) and whether anybody believes them. If there’s a major backlash in the midterm elections, (big if), then things look worse for GOP and better for America

      Scenario IV. Horrible, but probably not as bad as you imagine. Probably somewhere in between Vietnam and Iraq. Millions of unnecessary deaths, atrocities aplenty, but the country will endure. And also most like make Trump 10x more unpopular after a brief rally-around-the-flag honeymoon just like Bush and Iraq. Even the red states soured on that grand adventure eventually

      • sigaba

        We can discount scenario I and II but using economic arguments is always questionable. When it comes to Trump, his support is rooted in pride and the nursing of grievances.

        Thing nobody ever said: “I want to MAGA but I’m worried about the expense and the tax revenue surplus of Blue states.”

        Everybody thought World War I would last 6 weeks, because “Germany and Britain can’t afford the dent in international trade.” Of course that’s a shitty reason to give a grieving widow after the Hun killed her husband in a trench on the Marne, so they didn’t.

        • alexceres

          Half the people who voted for Trump don’t even like him. No way they send their kids off to die for him. Any war, civil or otherwise will need to be fought with the standing volunteers we have today.

          If you think protests about immigration bans were vigorous, a draft will engender protest 100x more. Trump administration won’t survive that.

  • AdamPShort

    Very, very few Americans can label a blank world map beyond the US, Canada, Mexico, and Australia, and I guarantee that Trump is not one of them. Lead pipe cinch.

    • David Allan Poe

      A surprisingly large number of people believe that Alaska is an island in the Pacific Ocean, somewhere in the vicinity of Hawaii. Because that’s where it appears on many US maps.

      • BobBobNewhartNewhartSpecial

        Hahahaha. Oh god, I hope that isn’t actually true. But it wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of people think Alaska is roughly the size of Arizona, given said maps.

        • David Allan Poe

          I’ve had a nonzero number of conversations over the years with people who have had to dispel this notion. Usually it begins when they are telling someone a story about driving up the Alcan. The inevitable question is, “Wait, how can you drive there? Isn’t it an island?”

    • Downpuppy

      25/30 on Sporcle

  • Dennis Orphen

    It’s only a matter of time before they start pulling over people with ‘Uff Da’ bumperstickers.

  • President Putinfluffer

    Bet you folks didn’t realize petitioning the White House would get you SPAMMED! losers!

    STAND UP and Support Judge Gosuck!


    • A pike is kind of like a support. They’ve been proven to support heads.

  • David Allan Poe

    The story when I was a kid and spent a year in Yemen was that Yemen and the other Arab countries would refuse entry to anyone with an Israeli entry visa stamp in their passport. I don’t know if this was actually true or not, but it was universally held by all the right wing white Americans of my acquaintance that this sort of guilt-by-association was awful and racist and cruel and just par-for-the-swarthy-Arab-course.

    I’m sure they’ll be speaking out against this sort of thing.

    • Right wingers don’t seek justice or equitable treatment. They live on spite and getting even.

      • guthrie

        Getting even implies a balance in payback. Surely it’s more like destroying their enemies no matter what minor slight happened to them years in the past.

        • farin

          They’re convinced infinite vengeance is what they’re owed.

  • Morbo

    Has anyone else started seeing CBP job ads with a tangy guitar lick on the TV? I can’t say I’ve ever seen them before Jan. 20th, and now there they are.

    • nasser

      Christ, really? Well, they’ll probably get plenty of recruits from Florida.

  • Finder of Things

    Naive fools. Several of the perpetrators of the Bowling Green Massacre were high ranking jihadists in the Norwegian cabinet. Why do you hate America?

    • tsam


  • The Temporary Name

    If he comes back he should say he’s from the Free Anders Breivik League.

    Hey, that reminds me: What do Anders Breivik and Donald Trump have in common anyway?

    Fake universities. http://www.universityworldnews.com/article.php?story=20120117111820531&goback=.gde_2858645_member_122528835

    • Abbey Bartlet

      Hey, that reminds me: What do Anders Breivik and Donald Trump have in common anyway?

      Being misogynistic white supremacists?

  • OliversArmy

    We’ve always been at war with Norway.

  • cpinva

    wow! just color me not at all shocked. when you let a stupid man be president, stupid things will happen. I think that’s a basic physical law of nature.

  • e.a.foster

    perhaps the officer thought the U.S.A. was on “bad terms” with Norway. who knows what lurks in those socialist hearts. Diplomatic or not, this is the U.S.A. and they now have a whole new set of standards. It also says a lot about how unprofessional the immigration officers are. They don’t understand what a diplomatic passport is? Guess that dumming down of their education system has really worked.

    Just another reason to not visit the U.S.A. Then they’ll be surprised when tourism is down. People like to be welcomed not thrown in the tank as if they were criminals.

    So besides all the “executive orders” Trump managed to get into it with the P.M. of Australia, which is bloody difficult and then for a representative of the American government to treat a diplomat from a “friendly” country like a criminal. Ah, this is going ever so well. Wonder how they’ll react if the Pope comes back for a visit? Well you do have to wonder.

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