Home / General / Cillizza should absolutely not write about Clinton running for president in 2020.

Cillizza should absolutely not write about Clinton running for president in 2020.

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And the Washington Post should stop him if he – shit, too late.

Hillary Clinton should absolutely not run for president in 2020. And Democrats should stop her if she tries.

To be Scrupulously Fair to Cillizza, he didn’t start this particular trash fire, Politico did: Hillary Clinton Is Running Again. Quick locate your surprised face and affix it to the front of your head.

Cillizza saw the flames and like a half-assed and really dim Prometheus, brought some of it back to the WaPo where he used it to set fire to some Straw Clintons he had left over from the election.

There’s a purposely provocative piece in Politico magazine this week that aims to make the case that Hillary Clinton is going to run for president for a third time in 2020.

Provocative to the sort of person who sees an article about People speculating that Clinton will run for mayor of NYC and becomes very deeply concerned that Clinton is running for mayor of NYC, perhaps.

Citing the scaling back of the Clinton Global Initiative and her plans to write a seventh book as evidence, Matt Latimer concludes: “Yes, barring some calamity, Clinton is running. And this brave columnist will go one step further. Not only will Clinton run again, she has an excellent shot at getting the Democratic Party nomination again.”

Wrong. And not just wrong on Clinton running again. But wrong on the fact that if she runs she could or would have the inside track on the Democratic nomination.

:-p

Expect to see some version of this article a few guillion times between now and the next election, no matter what Clinton does.

Update – By request, click on the Tweet to see people shouting BUT HER EMAILS, RIGHT? at CC.

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  • efgoldman

    Cillizza saw the flames and like a half-assed and really dim Prometheus, brought some of it back to the WaPo

    At first I wondered what the hell Beethoven has to do with Cilllizzza. Then I read this far down.

    I know I’m an old, old man, and of course things were always better back then, but i really don’t remember this kind of pure hack “journalism.”

  • jim, some guy in iowa

    what the fuck is wrong with these people?

    • N__B

      Their self-worth and their employment depend on them making “provocative” “statements” about “their” “deep” “ideas.”

      • tsam

        Self worth and paycheck size are inversely proportionate in journamalismism

        • N__B

          Do you mean worth and paycheck? Because I’m pretty sure that the highest-paid Fox shills has a high opinion of themselves.

          • tsam

            Hmm. You’re right. Back to the drawing board.

  • To be Scrupulously Fair to Cillizza, he didn’t start this particular trash fire, Politico did

    To be Scrupulously Fair to Cillizza, he should never be allowed to write anything about anything again. And if he does, it certainly should never be published.

    • Origami Isopod

      Yeah, I was coming in here to say that Shakezula’s post title could’ve ended after the first five words.

      Though, to be fair, I could deal with Cillizza writing down people’s orders at a Pilot truck stop for the rest of his working life.

      • Jon_H11

        The main reason I cling to my belief in an odd, permuted, idiosyncratic version of Christianity is my deep desire that there is an afterlife and it’s basically people like Trump and Cillizza being reincarnated as gas station attendants and fry cooks.

        I speak as a former gas station attendant and fry cook.

        • While I have no belief whatsoever either for or against any kind of afterlife, this would strike me as a perfectly just one if it turns out to be what actually exists.

          • …that said, Discworld’s depiction of the afterlife remains the most appealing one I’ve ever seen. I challenge anyone who’s read Small Gods to disagree. And anyone who hasn’t to read it now.

            • And I mean now, not tomorrow or in two hours from now. It’s probably a better use of your time than what you had planned. Though this statement would probably be more convincing for non-single people on some other day of the year, but if you’re single, it probably actually is true!

        • farin

          I’ve been picturing the email-obsessed journo-clowns like Ugolino, forever gnawing the skulls of their fellow traitors in the frozen depths. Given their willingness to spend over a year chewing a bone with no meat on it, the barrenness of Trump-administration brains should be no problem.

        • David Allan Poe

          It’s important in this scenario for all of their customers and all of their bosses to be versions of themselves and to treat them the way they treated their employees and service staff during their lives.

        • njorl

          I’m more in favor of something like Hell Lab’s “Ironic Punishment Division” from The Simpsons. Trump can spend eternity at a rally for rubes, but they all just laugh at him, because he’s Donald Ducking it, and his tie isn’t quite long enough.

    • efgoldman

      To be Scrupulously Fair to Cillizza, he should never be allowed to write anything about anything again.

      He could do the obits, and write up the feature story/advertisements for the house sales the paper is trying to pitch.

      I could deal with Cillizza writing down people’s orders at a Pilot truck stop for the rest of his working life.

      Why do you think he wouldn’t get those wrong, too.
      “Some say you wanted a tuna sandwich. Take this burger instead. They’re just the same.”

      • I wouldn’t be OK with him doing the obituaries. He’d probably still find some way to shoehorn in scolding about email server management practices. It’s not as if it’d be any less relevant there than it was in anything he’s already published.

        On the other hand, that’s probably better than the advertisers deserve. I happen to share Bill Hicks’ opinion on the fields of marketing and advertising.

    • lhartmann

      do you remember the smoking jacket bit with the other douchebag, Milbank? unfortunately I do.

      • Hells Littlest Angel

        Mouthpiece Theater? Thanks for reminding me. Thanks a lot.

        Honestly, though, I hadn’t forgotten it either, and any time I see either of their supercilious ratfaces, I’m reminded of it.
        The Washington Post has drastically improved since then, and I’m considering subscribing, but those two jerkoffs are two of the things that have me holding back.

  • vic rattlehead

    Why does this jackhole get paid for these crayon scribble scrabbles masquerading as thought? I get more political insight from my old neighbor who blasted Rush Limbaugh and regurgitated Alex Jones fever dreams to me.

  • CP

    Jesus fucking Christ. They just can’t live without Democrats to punch, and they need them so badly they’ll drag those that are out of the game right back in lest they lose their cherished sense of balance.

  • tsam

    The link you posted in the earlier thread showing all the friendly responses to Goczilla’s tweet should be here for the gratification of all.

  • demz taters

    The endless wankery of “think pieces” is being treated as serious discourse, and it’s killing us.

  • Jon_H11

    If I had to choose between punching a Nazi and punching Chris Cillizza…

    • Why should you have to choose?

      • efgoldman

        Why should you have to choose?

        Because whichever jaw he hits first will probably break his fist.

        • Abbey Bartlet

          Keep your wrist straight. Or use your elbow. Here’s a tutorial.

          • Or use boxing gloves (if you don’t want to hurt them too badly) or brass knuckles (if you do).

            • Jon_H11

              Pops used to say carry a roll of pennies in your pocket, same effect as brass knuckles, but plausible deniability if you get pat down.

            • Abbey Bartlet
              • In that case, fuck it. No mercy. Fight fire with fire. Punch back with brass knuckles. Although Jon_H11’s suggestion of a roll of pennies may actually be an even better idea. Make it a roll of quarters if you want even more impact.

  • Murc

    Jesus Christ, Matt Latimer thinks Clinton is running again because she’s writing another book?

    If Clinton were running again, she wouldn’t just be writing a book. She’d be riding the anti-Trump train as far and as fast as it’d go, because she’s not an idiot. She wouldn’t be taking a well-deserved rest.

    Writing a book is one of the lowest-impact things a politician who doesn’t need to work anymore can do.

    Gillibrand is running for President. I think Booker might be as well. I can smell the want coming off Cuomo like stink off a pig, but I think he pulls a Mario. Clinton? Is not running again.

    • humanoid.panda

      Hillary is writing a book, because clearly, a selection of her favorite quotes is the kind of hot political content that makes people buzz about her future plans.

      Or, she wants to make more money.

  • Warren Terra

    Cillizza should absolutely not write about Clinton running for president in 2020.

    I am reliably informed this post’s title is twelve words long, but I could swear only the first five were necessary.

  • sigaba

    CNN sez Flynn resigns.

    • CP

      WHAT??? Oh joy!

      • randy khan

        One down, a hundred to go.

        For perspective, the fastest resignation I can think of off the top of my head from the beginning of an Administration is Jerry terHorst, Ford’s first press secretary, who resigned 30 days after Ford took office in protest of the Nixon pardon.

        • wjts

          There was a Doonesbury strip about terHorst’s first press conference. One of the reporters asked, “Can you change your last name? It looks like a typo.”

          • tsam

            Cillizza’s does to me too. I can’t stop saying sih-zilla

            • wjts

              Warren Terra once corrected someone’s misspelling of his name here by saying “two ls, two zs”. Ever since, the connection between him and a privileged, incompetent dimwit from a British radio sitcom named Giles Wemmbly-Hogg (“Two ms, two gs” is a repeated line in the show) has been seared into my mind.

            • njorl

              Now you have me thinking Shillzilla.

    • Jon_H11

      I think cabinet resignation every 3 weeks will be pretty standard for the next 4 years. We are the United States of the Apprentice.

    • Warren Terra

      NSA director doesn’t require senate confirmation and is very close to the President, totally his crony. The freeing up of this job offers highly entertaining potential for further drama. We could get a cavalcade of curious characters, the position turning over every month or so as the latest incumbent pratfalls with the nation’s security in their hands.

      • N__B

        Surely this opening will provide an opportunity for the head of security at Mar a Lago to move up in the world.

      • dmsilev

        I think Trump will declare himself to be his National Security Advisor.

        • Warren Terra

          He’s gotta find a role for Tiffany eventually, right? I mean, she was included in the inauguration and everything.

      • wjts

        I need a job, and my qualifications speak for themselves: I have met a former NSA director and know what a computer is.

        • I believe this would make you more qualified than the person you are replacing.

          • wjts

            For reasons that I won’t explain because they make the following part of this sentence less amusing, as a result of that meeting (which took place in a Pittsburgh bar) I own a copy of Charles Dickens’ Our Mutual Friend signed by the former NSA director in question.

        • Warren Terra

          Do you have a conspiracy-minded indiscreet son, spouse, or other sidekick to act as comic relief?

          Speaking of which: it occurs to me that with Flynn’s son being a massive security risk while Flynn was handling classified material, and with Flynn presumably returning to the consulting firm he previously ran with his son as chief aide, he really is a DC high muckety-muck resigning to spend more time with his family.

          • wjts

            Do you have a conspiracy-minded indiscreet son, spouse, or other sidekick to act as comic relief?

            I would like to announce that I am now accepting applications for the position of conspiracy-minded indiscreet sidekick to the Director of the NSA. Poor or otherwise amusing dress sense preferred.

            • tsam

              OH! PICK ME! We’ll get wasted at lunch every. Damn. Day.

              • wjts

                The cut of your jib is intriguing to me.

      • David Allan Poe

        We can imagine the National Security Advisor as being like the drummer for Spinal Tap.

        • JonH

          National Security Advisor: John Stumpy Pepys

          • He probably would’ve been a better choice than Flynn. Or Fifth Avenue Franco, come to think of it.

          • Hogan

            Chaffetz said it was best to leave it unsolved.

    • farin

      Well that should put an end to any suspicions that Trump is too close to Russia, right? Now that he’s taken Serious Presidential Action to restore the integritude of his administration, it’s clear he’s pivoted.

      I look forward to hearing Democrats taken to task for being unwilling to confront the dire terrorist threat of Ukrainian independence.

    • efgoldman

      CNN sez Flynn resigns.

      Yet another Rhode Island winnah!
      Where’s Loomis when we need him?

  • EliHawk

    Can’t believe you didn’t mention this sexist as all hell nugget:

    Then there is the fact that Clinton will be 70 this October. She has two young grandchildren. A daughter and son-in-law. A husband. Why commit to spending — at least — two years more away from your family on an activity that has brought you nothing but heartache for the past decade?

    Something tells me “Won’t someone think of the grandchildren?” won’t pop up in an article about Biden or Sanders running for President. Or, you know, the even older guy who’s currently in the job.

    • Abbey Bartlet

      Well, to be fair, it’s not like the current guy completely abandoned his wife and son in another city or anything.

    • JonH

      Hey, you never know, Chelsea might run into some hard times, get divorced, and have to take several jobs, not making enough to pay for child care.

  • wjts

    Seriously and gratuitously off-topic, so apologies, but this just popped into my head and is going to bug me for ages and I figure some of the horror fans here might know the answer:

    There’s a short story (maybe by Robert Bloch?) about a guy who’s friends with a painter. One day, the guy notices that there’s a weird little demon-thing curled up on the painter’s shoulder. Later, the guy goes by the painter’s studio and what was a harmless little demon-thing sleeping on the painter’s shoulder is now a great big scary demon-thing standing behind the painter and forcing him to paint. Anyone remember the title and/or the author?

    • Abbey Bartlet
      • wjts

        Thanks! That’s the one. Googling various permutations of “painter demon muse” didn’t turn anything up.

        (I had completely forgotten about that book and wouldn’t have guessed Alan Dean Foster in a billion years. Rereading the table of contents, the only other ones I remember from that were “The Inheritance” (killer cat), “Pipe Dreams” (killer pipe-smoker) and “The Chair” (killer chair).)

        • Abbey Bartlet

          I have *excellent* google fu. I got it with artist forced to paint by demon.

        • Vance Maverick

          I was going to suggest Akutagawa’s Hell Screen, but evidently not.

  • ForkyMcSpoon

    *shrug*

    It’s not completely implausible that she’d run again. But it would be a lot harder to win, so I also don’t think we would be doomed if she were to win the nomination again – things would have to be very different for her to pull off a win (e.g. she would have to have significantly better favorable ratings, I think). But overall, she’s very unlikely to run and even more unlikely to be the nominee so I don’t see any reason to think about it much.

    And I don’t really care whether she does or not unless Andrew Cuomo or a Cuomo equivalent is the prohibitive frontrunner and only she can take him down. Because I’d probably rather try Clinton again than have Cuomo.

    And I still don’t get why some people have such hate boners for her and are obsessed with her.

    • Murc

      Right?

      I understand why rightists have hate boners for her, I understand that completely. But people on the left?

      I don’t care for her politics, in the sense of “I don’t think they’re sufficient to the needs of the country and she’s made some enormous and harmful policy blunders.” But that doesn’t mean she’s not basically on the side of good; I feel the same way about, say, Chuck Schumer.

      I’m not sure how I’d go about actually translating that into hatred for her but apparently a lot of otherwise sensible liberals have managed it. I guess maybe some of it is older liberals being really pissed off about the Clinton years, when she and her husband were putting the boot into the welfare state and smiling for the cameras while doing it? I can at least sort of understand that, but not in the context of her running against Trump.

      • Abbey Bartlet

        People under ~30 have literally never known a world where Hillary Clinton wasn’t a villain to at least one, if not seven or eight, segment of society. They’ve always heard vague rumblings about Clinton Corruption. Made it easy for them to buy that she was in fact corrupt and evil and Goldman blah blah blah.

      • humanoid.panda

        She is a double scapegoat. First, for the sins of the senior Democrats for the Iraq War. Second for the sins of the Obama administration: a lot of lefties who hated the administration due to drones, and Lybia and failure to nationalize banks couldn’t get traction because people like Obama, so they chose to focus on her.

        . Add to this the long trace of “scandals,” Russian ratfucking, and a couple of dubious decisions (giving speeches to Goldman as she was running for president was not smart..) and a dash of misogyny, and there you have it.

        • TVTray

          You forgot to spell it DRRRO000OOOOnes!!1!

    • Just_Dropping_By

      It’s not completely implausible that she’d run again.

      I personally don’t think Clinton will run again, but I do think that it’s a legitimate question to ask given the number of people (including many people inside Clinton’s own campaign, apparently up to and including Clinton herself: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/13/us/politics/hillary-clinton-james-comey.html?_r=0 ) who primarily blame Comey for the loss. Once large numbers of people take the position that their candidate’s loss was the result of a freak exogenous event and that the candidate should generally be held blameless for the loss, it begs the question of why shouldn’t that candidate run again.

      • Abbey Bartlet

        Why would she want to?

      • Vance Maverick

        I don’t see the connection. I personally feel she lost for bad reasons like Comey, but at the same time that she’s had her shot.

        • I feel like her shot was tainted because of all the interference, but I also share Abbey’s response. If I were Clinton, I’d just spend the rest of my days privately thinking “I warned you”.

      • JonH

        “why shouldn’t that candidate run again.”

        For one:
        Attorney General Jeff Sessions

        I don’t know who is going to be running the FBI in 2019-2020, but they’re going to be appointed by Trump (or Pence).

        If I were Clinton, I would not expect 2020 to be any easier.

      • FlipYrWhig

        Once large numbers of people take the position that their candidate’s loss was the result of a freak exogenous event and that the candidate should generally be held blameless for the loss, it begs the question of why shouldn’t that candidate run again.

        Ask Al Gore that question. I believe the answer will be similar.

    • TVTray

      Some people don’t like her because she lost to Donald Trump.

      • Some people don’t like her because she lost an election that was rigged by the FBI and foreign agents to Donald Trump.

        Your sentence was missing several crucial words. I restored them for you.

  • humanoid.panda

    Just to be positive for the moment: Cilizza is a zit on the ass of humanity, but Flynn’s head is being installed at the trophy case of the WaPo news room as we speak. Need to give journalists props when they do their job.

    • Abbey Bartlet

      Of course, this is just going to make the Times even more bitter.

      • humanoid.panda

        Maybe we can do a trade? Cilizza goes to the Times, and the Post gets one or two reporters from non-domestic-politics-related Times’ desks. Everyone will be happy!

        • I can think of a few NYT subscribers who might think they’d gotten a raw bargain with that one.

  • Dilan Esper

    This sort of thing is not new. There was a “report” that Dukakis wanted to run in 1992, which caused Johnny Carson to say “yeah, in fact I hear he has already written his concession speech”.

    • rea

      They said much the same thing about Adlai in ’56.

      • njorl

        In 1956, the question was who should get saddled with a loss to Ike. Stephenson already had one, so another wasn’t a big deal.

  • Jon_H11

    Just sent this to wapost:

    Fire or get rid of Chris Cillizza and I will buy a full year subscription, even though I get a free one since I’m a student. He is worth far less than that.

    Join me!

    • I think we already have a WaPo subscription, but I am also a student and don’t have to tell them about my existing WaPo subscription. I may consider doing this tomorrow.

  • daves09

    Clinton doesn’t have to say or do anything to get this going-and it’s still the same collection of anonymous staffers, anonymous friends, people who claim to be friends plus assorted politico creeps.
    I’ve only read a few Cillizza columns but Ray Charles could see he’s totally bogus as a political analyst. How does someone that dull get a job involving the English language.

  • MDrew

    Why is this post about Cillizza and not Matt Latimer (whoever that is) or Politico or whatever?

    Cillizza is basically just saying what most of your are saying about Clinton running again.

    • I don’t really care what noises Cillizza makes now; he’s already earned a deserved conviction for treason once it becomes fully apparent just how thorough the Russian ratfucking was this election. I don’t really care if he was too stupid or too gullible to see what they were doing; he was one of their primary enablers nonetheless. “Useful idiot” is a term associated with the Russians for a reason. It does raise the question of who finds Cillizza useful, and why, and whether those people are useful either, but you’ve got to start cleaning the place up somewhere. He is a mindless jerk who’ll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

      (Note: I am being only half facetious here. His tombstone should definitely be made to bear the inscription “BUT HER EMAILS”, at any rate.)

      • MDrew

        Well, he writes several posts a day. So, I guess, just have at ’em (him)?

        What I’m left with, is why did this post make the cut on this particular day? Is the underlying subject matter and the item Cillizza is addressing just utterly incidental? This is just a randomly selected Cillizza item for us to hate upon?

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