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Those Thighs Won’t Rub Themselves!


clinton benghazi

It’s Out There, say Clinton Rules disciples David Goodman and Amy Chozick:

From political circles in New York City to cocktail parties on Capitol Hill, on right-of-center Facebook pages and among left-of-center donors, two of the biggest untethered threads in New York politics are being drawn together around a single question.

Would Hillary Clinton run for mayor?

Whenever possibly apocryphal cocktail parties with unspecified participants are being discussed, you know the sourcing is rigorous!

The prospect has an obvious, novelistic allure: A run for mayor of New York this year would pit Mrs. Clinton against Mayor Bill de Blasio, a fellow Democrat who managed her Senate campaign in 2000, and, should she win, would put her in charge of President-elect Donald J. Trump’s hometown, ensuring years of potential clashes between bitter rivals.

If Hillary Clinton gets elected mayor, we can be guaranteed years of lazy, Both Sides Do It but Clinton Is Worse reporting! With a novelistic, or at least “treatment for a House of Cards knockoff rejected by Starz,” allure!

The question has gained momentum in the weeks since Mrs. Clinton lost to Mr. Trump, a Republican. It began quietly at first, then grew louder among the conservative media outlets and pundits who hold her and Mr. de Blasio in disdain.

[Thinking emoji]

While the answer would almost certainly be no

Now you tell us! But I guess if it was in the first graf it people would more quickly figure out that there’s no story here. Anyway, let’s return to the baseless speculation:

The suggestion that Mrs. Clinton might run for mayor has been bubbling up for weeks. It appeared on a right-wing website in the days after the election and was then floated by a Fox Business Network commentator. It was also being discussed in Washington as Congress convened this week.

“I heard it three times in the two days I was on the Hill,” said Bradley Tusk, a former top aide to Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg who has been actively courting potential challengers to Mr. de Blasio.

OK. So, in conclusion, “conservatives who hate Hillary Clinton, and some people who hate Bill de Blasio, and some reporters who really love the idea of having Hillary Clinton to kick around for several more years, are fervently imagining Hillary Clinton running for mayor of New York, something that will not happen.” I wouldn’t call this “news,” but it is revealing. And, hey, the wire will always be there to cover stories like “Trump rewards attorney general he bribed to get her to stop looking into his massive fraud with a job,” freeing your political reporters to write hate-fanfic.

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  • DamnYankees

    Ignoring all the baggage, she does seem like a pretty good fit to be mayor of NYC, actually. She ticks the boxes.

    • vic rattlehead

      I personally don’t see it. I think she’d be better suited as Westchester County Executive (though that would probably be too far of a downgrade for someone of her statute) or Governor.

      • los

        AG candidate Clinton would win. Just schedule “Lock Him[1] Up” rallies.

        1. Trump be Him. You knew that.

    • Judas Peckerwood

      Anyone who would seek that thankless job is either a masochistic true believer like de Blasio, a preening narcissist like Bloomberg or a raging psycho like Rudy 9/11.

      I don’t see Hillary as any of those.

      • DAS

        That’s not fair. Rudy 9/11 was a preening narcissist in addition to being psycho. And De Blasio has a touch of preening narcissism too.

        Also Michael Bloomberg, in addition to being a preening narcissist, is also a true believer … in Sensible Sentrism.

  • So Bloomberg’s circle is trying to fuck with de Blasio’s head and the Times loyally reported what they were asked to. Great.

    • efgoldman

      the Times loyally reported what they were asked to. Great.

      Didn’t they used to be an actual, real newspaper reporting actual, real news? I mean, not since the Clintons went to DC, but some time in the distant past?

      • Richard Gadsden

        Some of the fash have started calling it “Carlos Slim’s blog”.

  • BGinCHI

    Was this published in the NYT’s new “Ratfucker” column?

    Maybe the most under-reported story of 2016 was that all major American newspapers became tabloids.

    • Tom Till

      From the hereafter Rick James must look at American political reporters and mutter “Self-hatred’s a helluva drug!” I mean, what other reason would a person willingly continue to write this shit?

      • BGinCHI

        The Benjamins.

  • Dilan Esper

    There was an LA Times sports reporter back in the day who, when he needed a story, would ask the Rams general manager about rumors that the coach was going to be fired.

    He would get his denial and run the story. Of course the only rumors were being spread by the writer.

    • Alex.S

      Are you saying there’s a rumor that Hillary Clinton is going to be head coach for the Rams?

      • BGinCHI

        Finally, an upgrade.

        • Dilan Esper

          Like Fisher, she got to the Super Bowl and lost a close one.

      • Bill Murray

        It’s more or less as likely as running for Mayor of New York

    • D.N. Nation

      It was Simers, wasn’t it.

      • Dilan Esper

        Nope. A generation before Simers. Initials B.O., just in case locals want to figure it out.

  • Rob in CT

    I thought this was going to be a groper-in-chief thread. I am disappoint.

  • Crusty

    Among many other reasons that this is stoopid, she doesn’t live in NYC.

    • sam

      literally just logged in to say the same thing. Pretty sure you still actually need to live in the five boroughs to run for Mayor. That’s obviously something that could be fixed pretty quickly if she wanted it (depending on the residency requirements, which I’m not finding immediately with a quick google search), but they just expanded the compound in Chappaqua.

      • vic rattlehead

        Really I think that’s the least of it.

        I wouldn’t say she’s not qualified, necessarily. But I don’t think she’s close enough to the City to get down to the nitty gritty of governing the city. I think you need someone with more intracity experience. I know it may sound silly for me to say that I’d vote for her for Governor but not Mayor but when you think about it-

        Lhota was a deputy mayor in the Giuliani administration and former head of the MTA which, while a state agency, has a considerable impact to say the least on the city. I never would have voted for him but he was a credible candidate.

        de Blasio had worked in the Dinkins administration and been public advocate. That year in the primary you also had the current comptroller, a past comptroller, speaker of the city council, and a former congressman who represented a district within the city.

        Bloomberg – rich business dickhead, so the rules don’t apply to him of course.

        Giuliani – US Attorney for the Southern District. Federal, but he was steeped in New York politics-he prosecuted the NY mob for christ’s sake.

        • sam

          I absolutely thing Governor makes significantly more sense than Mayor, and not just because it’s the ‘bigger’ office. NYC is it’s own…thing.

          I think the people stirring this up are just shit-stirrers, and particularly are looking to gum up the works for DeBlasio in particular, rather than have any interest in her as appropriate for city hall.

          • Scott Lemieux

            I don’t see her seeking public office again, but a run for governor would be 1)good, because she’s better than Cuomo and could beat him in a primary, and 2)amusing, because of all the broscalists who would suddenly discover Cuomo’s hidden leftist charms.

            • FlipYrWhig

              “Cuomo works with Bernie Sanders on college costs!”

            • EliHawk

              Why would anyone want to be stuck dealing with Albany though? Half of Cuomo’s shittiness is just because he’s King Asshole of all the Assholes up there. No way HRC wants to spend her golden years locked in endless budget negotiations with the finest minds Long Island can spare for the State Senate.

            • ASV

              Certainly, anyone who thinks her preferred target in primarying a sitting Democratic executive in New York state would be De Blasio is not even interesting enough as a fabulist to be worth paying attention to. In 2017, we deserve better political fanfic writers.

            • ForkyMcSpoon

              I kind of would like to see that for the same reasons… She would be better than Cuomo and it would just be interesting to see how people would react to it.

              I think she could actually get some good things done if she did manage to win the office, also, due to being better than Cuomo.

              But mayor of NYC? That’s a stupid idea.

        • efgoldman

          I wouldn’t say she’s not qualified, necessarily. But I don’t think she’s close enough to the City to get down to the nitty gritty of governing

          See, you’re accepting the NYT story as real news. It ain’t. It’s made up out of whole cloth based on some RWNJ’s fever dream.

        • synykyl

          I wouldn’t say she’s not qualified, necessarily.

          Does being qualified even matter any more? If Trump can be elected President, my dog can be elected mayor of NYC.

          • los

            Is NY FBI full of dog-owners?
            Conflicts of interest no longer matter.

            But Bloomberg will back Snoopy primarying you.

      • rea

        they just expanded the compound in Chappaqua.

        Enough to make her eligible to run for mayor in New York City?

  • vic rattlehead

    Despite having lived in the City for a few years now (and having had social and family connections to it most of my life), I don’t follow its politics nearly as closely as I should. Somehow it’s just easier to stay on top of national and even NY state politics than the seemingly byzantine world of NYC politics.

    That said, from casual observation it does not seem to me that it would be terribly difficult to successfully primary de Blasio. Not that I am as hard on him as many of my fellow liberals or leftists are – after 20 years of Giuliani and Bloomberg I am willing to be extremely patient with any D mayor. I think he’s a somewhat savvier politician than he’s given credit for, but at the same time his abilities are far from preternatural and I bet he has been nervously looking over his shoulder for several months now.

    I would of course be happy to have someone as smart and capable as Hillary Clinton Mayor, but not only is it a tough and seemingly thankless job to govern a city that has more people than all but 10 or so states, I can’t imagine she wants to immediately jump back into campaign mode. I can’t imagine her wanting to become Governor of New York either, although again I would gladly take her over Cuomo.

    Those are probably the only two possible offices in her hypothetical electoral future, but they’re not even lateral moves for a former Senator/Secretary of State/”losing” presidential candidate. She’d probably win either one, but it would seem too much like a consolation prize and that would feed into the “overly ambitious woman” narrative.

    Not to mention, I could see her as Governor, but what connections does she really have to the city? She as far as I can remember has never lived there and has no connection to intracity politics. Seems like she would be a bad choice for mayor.

    • jim, some guy in iowa

      I think Clinton is done, and I think she knows it too. This is just another reason it gets more and more difficult to defend the Times, because it’s such a shit use of their resources

      • Warren Terra

        This is just another reason it gets more and more difficult to defend the Times, because it’s such a shit use of their resources

        What are you talking about? It got clicks! The reporters didn’t have to leave their desks, didn’t have to talk to anyone they didn’t already know or add any new names to their rolodexes! Heck, they didn’t even have to talk to anyone, this sort of obvious nonsense they could make up from whole cloth in their sleep! And did I mention that it got clicks?

        Sure, it’s nonsense. Sure, reading it would actually decrease the knowledge and intelligence of the person doing so. It’s a waste of space, of pixels, of time, and of two reporters, even if these ones happen to be scum. Even if true it would be wildly premature and would be irrelevant to the important issues facing the city and the nation, and to questions of policy.

        But: clicks!

        • humanoid.panda

          But did I mention that it got clicks?

          The funny thing is that in the last couple of years, the WAshington Post, while far from perfect (Cilizza cough cough) had been much better both at clickbaiting and at producing actual news. For God’s sake, even Buzzfeed is overcoming the Times’ political desk.

        • jim, some guy in iowa

          (shakes head)

          I imagine by this time in 2020 I won’t remember having even flickers of idealism about the media

        • TopsyJane

          But: clicks!

          Yep. It was posted here and people are clicking and commenting. Works like a charm.

  • Warren Terra

    Since your post uses an image from the Benghazi hearings, it seems worth pointing out that the Republicans in Congress, who were so terribly concerned about that tragedy that they dragged Clinton over the coals for a year, have proposed to slash spending on embassy security.

    • jim, some guy in iowa

      “*everything* is okay if you’re a republican”

    • Rob in CT


    • Breadbaker

      We will count on the Russians to patrol our embassies.

    • David Allan Poe

      We won’t need embassy security. America will be so great no one would dare mess with our embassies.

      • Warren Terra

        To be fair, since Trump plans to start his administration with the US literally having no ambassadors, anyplace, do we really need embassy security? Without ambassadors, are the buildings even embassies?

      • los

        The gun folks claim that people carrying guns don’t need security employees.
        Certainly DJT and the EverTrump Congress will save taxpayers Bigly by Repeal and Replacing the Secret Service by battered blackberries .44 magnums

    • liberalrob

      I love that shot. It’s perfect.

  • Caepan

    Hmm. The Times runs an op-ed decrying “fake news,”, then runs their own fake news story.

    But hey, “people” at “cocktail parties” are “discussing” it, so that’s good enough sourcing for them!

  • humanoid.panda

    And of course, tens of thousands of liberals have rewarded the Times with new subscriptions post elections, specifically because the Times marketed those as means to fight Trump.

    • DAS

      So the NY Times’ crappy coverage helps get Trump into office, and then the paper markets itself as a bullwork against Trumpism? Hmmm …

  • liberalrob

    Nice Edroso impression, Lemieux :)

    And spot on. Also like Edroso.

  • DAS

    FWIW, I’ve long wondered if HRC ran for Senate because everyone was talking about how she’d “run for political office herself, maybe for the Senate? But from where? How about NY”. And HRC read all of this speculation and thought “why not? you know what? I will run for Senate from NY”.

  • to cocktail parties on Capitol Hill

    OFFS. But what do Uber drivers think??

    • Scott Lemieux

      [With additional reporting by Tom Friedman.]

  • thebewilderness

    Between horse races the railbirds enjoy a game of handicapping fantasy horse races.

    • Hogan

      It’s their version of Superman v. Hulk.

  • veleda_k

    Of course, in these comments, we’re now discussing whether Clinton could run for mayor and whether or not she should run for mayor. I don’t know what that proves, but I feel like it proves something.

    • efgoldman

      we’re now discussing whether Clinton could run for mayor and whether or not she should run for mayor.

      Some of us are. Some of us are crapping all over the people who discuss this non-story as if it were really news.

      Why don’t we discuss, say. Vermilion Vermin’s appointment of ambassador to Mars?

      • veleda_k

        At last! Topics the public really cares about!

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