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Insomniac night gaunt wants to see some heads roll

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It is worth repeating that the members of Team Trump are unable to cope when life doesn’t stick to the script they’ve written.

Conway, a key adviser to President Trump, criticized networks for their coverage of her “alternative facts” statement one week ago, noting that there were other things she said in Sunday show interviews that could have been the reporters’ focus.

“I went on three network shows and spoke for 35 minutes on three network Sunday shows. You know what got picked? The fact that I said ‘alternative facts,’ not the fact that I ripped a new one to some of those hosts that they never cover the facts that matter,” Conway said.

Or the alternative facts that matter. Why must people be so difficult? Why won’t they let Conway tell everyone how clever she’s been at ripped a new one to someone (which sounds like she farted in their general direction)? Don’t they know who she is?

Conway is also upset that no one has been fired for saying mean things about that tRump guy, President Racist Bannon’s chief assistant. This is apparently something she decided was going to happen.

“Not one network person has been let go. Not one silly political analyst and pundit who talked smack all day long about Donald Trump has been let go,” she added. “I’m too polite to mention their names, but they know who they are, and they are all wondering who will be the first to go. The election was three months ago. None of them have been let go.”

Because the silly analysts and pundits have confided in Conway that they’re wondering if they’ll be fired? Doubtful. Does a full transcript of that portion of her appearance put things in context? Sort of?

Does the Secret Service keep a list of staffers who aren’t allowed to handle anything sharper than a crayon? Perhaps it should.

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  • Does the Secret Service keep a list of staffers who aren’t allowed to handle anything sharper than a crayon? Perhaps it should.

    It occurs to me that in this administration, this would be a very long list.

    • LosGatosCA

      A shorter list is who can handle anything sharper than a crayon.

      • I would speculate that there is a non-zero chance that this list would be equivalent to the null set.

      • efgoldman

        They shouldn’t even be allowed crayons; toddlers, crayons, and walls don’t mix.

        • Origami Isopod

          They’d just paint the walls with their own shit. Then beam like they’d re-created the Mona Lisa.

          • LosGatosCA

            That’s not shit, it’s pure gold.

            At least pure platinum and genuine diamonds.

            Also, too, it doesn’t stink.

    • DrDick

      Also, I suspect that if they do, they are handing out straight razors to Conway.

      • LosGatosCA

        Yes, multiple.

      • cpinva

        “Also, I suspect that if they do, they are handing out straight razors to Conway.”

        wouldn’t work, she’d somehow manage to fuck that up too. or, in the alternative, she’d be like one of those horror movie monsters, that gets shot like 5 million times (in her case, slits both her wrists & throat), and still rises to wreak continued havoc, until someone beheads and disembowels it.

        I’d prefer, in lieu of violence, that she simply crawl back under the rock she first slithered out from underneath, never to be seen or heard from again.

        she proves what I learned from my work, you don’t have to be particularly smart to be successful, just come up with one gimmick, or know the right people.

  • muddy

    I specifically voted for Trump for his power to fire bloggers, or have them fired on his behalf. I am disappoint.

    • osceola

      I thought he was gonna get these loosers otta heah!!

      • LosGatosCA

        Why can’t he be more like Pootie-Poot and just terminate them?

        Not their jobs, them.

        • DocAmazing

          Polonium? I hardly knew ‘um!

    • cpinva

      really! I mean, who knew that they wouldn’t know who Kellyanne Conway is, and start the ritual bowing towards her, the cads! full disclosure: I never heard of her, until just recently. given her publicly displayed ability to fuck up a wet dream, there’s probably a good reason I (and probably most of the rest of the country) never heard of her until recently, she most likely gets paid a lot more to stay away from candidates, rather than for working for them. on a serious note, the level of hubris displayed by Ms. Conway is pretty staggering, just assuming people would be fired, because they didn’t play nice with either her or her boss. I predict she flames out in short order.

  • humanoid.panda

    Never combine whiskey and horse tranquilizers before going on TV.

    • humanoid.panda

      Seriously though, the woman wants the adulation the media gave St. Kellyanne around August-September back. She is not getting it back, or her reputation, or her hamburgers not being spat on by restaurant staff.

      • Yes, one can argue about whether they were prepared to win, but everyone knows they weren’t prepared to work. Or for the fact that the expectations for members of the Executive branch would be a bit higher than expectations for people working on a campaign.

        It’s just no fun any more. Sad!

        • humanoid.panda

          I’m actually rather amazed that Conway is so high up in the WH. Even a Trump administration could have found out someone with at least some administrative experience, or even business one.

          • Wapiti

            As White House Counsel, I think her job is to agree with any illegal thing Trump wants to do, so he can honestly say in front of a court: “The lawyers said I could do it.”

            • rhino

              Wait, that bimbo graduated from law school? Seriously?

              • randy khan

                Much though I hate to spoil the fun, her actual title is “Counselor to the President.” No lawyering required (or, apparently, possible in her case)

              • Moondog von Superman

                “Bimbo?” Really?

                • Let’s all agree to call her a “fucking asshole” instead.

              • liberalrob

                GWU Law School, with honors.

                Her C.V. is littered with a who’s who of GOP wingnuttery: Luntz, Gingrich, Quayle(!), Pence, Akin…and finally Ted Cruz. When his campaign imploded, she jumped ship to Trump and hasn’t looked back.

                She’s exactly 4 days older than I am. Huh.

                • cpinva

                  “GWU Law School, with honors.”

                  wow, that is amazing. I guess it really does prove that pretty much any idiot can get accepted to, do well in, and graduate from law school. all you really need to be able to successfully do is regurgitate what the textbooks say, on tests and the bar.

                  geez, I am now really kicking myself for letting a kid stop me from going anyway, back in the day.

                • She was probably a good deal sharper back then. Add 20 or 30 years of terrible life choices and a reverse ‘portrait-of-Dorian-Gray’ effect, and you have what we see today.

                • witlesschum

                  wow, that is amazing. I guess it really does prove that pretty much any idiot can get accepted to, do well in, and graduate from law school. all you really need to be able to successfully do is regurgitate what the textbooks say, on tests and the bar.

                  As much as he’s looking better and better, George W. Bush dual Ivy degree holder should have derailed the last car of this silly idea train.

                • Rob in CT

                  She’s not stupid. She’s a fucking liar. A terrible person. A smart person, or at least reasonably intelligent.

        • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

          The permanent White House staff is going to handle that crap!

        • daves09

          It’s probably too much to hope that Chuck Toad writhes in embarrassment every time he remembers his *Kellyanne is good people* endorsement.

          • witlesschum

            Chuck Toad writhes in embarrassment

            In the sense that it’s too much to hope for that a horse will sprout wings and fly you to Popeyes for lunch.

      • DrDick

        or her hamburgers not being spat on by restaurant staff.

        That’s what they are doing when they are in a good mood.

        • Captain Oblivious

          I hear that stores in the capitol district are running out of eyedrops.

      • CrunchyFrog

        Yeah, remember when SNL did that very sympathetic (to Conway) skit about her trying to take a day off yet being continually called back to TV to explain the latest Trump outrage. “No, when Mr. Trump said he wanted to have a penis fight with President Obama what he really meant was …” They made it look like she had the toughest job in the world lying for Trump and that she couldn’t wait to get out.

        Of course, she did make that little “slip up” comment about that time about how she might quit.

        Well, now everyone sees that she’s a big a pathological liar as he is. No more sympathy, asshole.

        • Hob

          I think McKinnon’s portrayal of Conway still works fine, and I don’t think it ever required you to believe that Conway is really like that. Using this fictional best-case scenario where the person is secretly reasonable on some level just highlights how evil the choices are that she’s constantly making. And playing a character with some degree of humanity is just a much better fit for McKinnon’s comedy talent.

          • JohnT

            That portrayal of Conway, as well as her one of Clinton, drew strength not necessarily from what the target was, but what the audience would have liked her to have been.

        • JohnT

          I had missed that sketch.

          4 minutes of youtube later and tears of leaughter are just running down my face – superb.
          Was McKinnon always this good or did 2016 just inspire her?

        • cpinva

          “Well, now everyone sees that she’s a big a pathological liar as he is. No more sympathy, asshole.”

          I think everyone saw that from the first moment she stepped foot onto a public stage, not time at all wasted there.

    • If I couldn’t combine whiskey and horse tranquilizers, I wouldn’t be able to make it through the day.

  • DocAmazing

    I like the graphic that Lord Saletan uses for his Twitter account. It shows him bending over backwards to be fair to Republicans.

    • ΧΤΠΔ

      Saletan has been mostly decent recently – at least, far above his 2000s output. Lord Shafer has been far, far worse since the beginning of the election cycle, and is one of two current employees dedicated to keeping POLITICO synonymous with “pyschopathic horseracism.” (Also, if efgoldman is correct, Glibturd was the driving force behind Will’s shittiness during that time period, though I don’t know if that explains his Bell Curve chickenfucking).

  • Lurks

    Does the Secret Service keep a list of staffers who aren’t allowed to handle anything sharper than a crayon? Perhaps it should.

    My wife and I joke about what the Secret Service would do if something happened to Trump.

    “The President has collapsed and isn’t breathing! Joe, walk as quick as you can to the nearest hospital and get help!”

    I’m sure in real life they are absolutely conscientious and dead serious about their jobs, but I also think if you see one in dark glasses it is because he can’t keep from doing the “you just said what?” eye roll.

    • efgoldman

      My wife and I joke about what the Secret Service would do if something happened to Trump.

      Is the secret service allowed by his private goons to get that close to him?
      And who’s paying for those goons, BTW? Because if they don’t get paid, they’re not protecting shit.

      • Because if they don’t get paid, they’re not protecting shit.

        And if they are, they are!!!

        • N__B

          When I was just a new fascist
          I asked my father, what will I be
          Will I be orange, will I be rich
          Here’s what he said to me.
          S’ils le sont, ils sont
          And if they are, they are
          The future its ours to mar
          S’ils le sont, ils sont
          And if they are, they are

    • rewenzo

      My suspicion is that, as a government agency with guns, they are probably pro-Trump overall.

    • Thrax

      “We’d better get help! Here’s a postcard and a stamp.”

      • wjts

        “But it’s lunchtime – the line at the post office is going to be crazy. I’ll go tomorrow, first thing when they open. Or the day after – sometimes my alarm doesn’t go off.”

        “I had that problem. Maybe it needs a new battery.”

        “Gasp hack gasp wheeze.”

        “No, it’s plugged in.”

        “Have you tried just using your phone?”

        “Glaaag glaag glurgle glurgle.”

        “I hate the alarm sounds it has on it. And I don’t like waking up to music.”

        “No, me either.”

        “Hack hack wheeze glurgle glurgle gludge.”

        “So, lunch?”

        “I was thinking tacos.”

        “Thud.”

        • rhino

          SNL? You getting this?

  • “gaping, seeping wounds”

    Well, if you insist

    • DocAmazing

      Tertiary syphilis is rarely pretty.

      • carolannie

        please please stop it

      • Warren Terra

        Um, Doc, that’s not what tertiary syphilis is, according to my lay recollection (of stuff I’ve only read! really!) and a quick Google. Sores are a feature of primary and especially secondary syphilis, tertiary involves organ damage.

        • rhino

          I believe seeping wounds often accompany death by organ failure, though.

          • LosGatosCA

            Isn’t the brain an organ?

            IANAMD

            • DocAmazing

              In Trump’s case, he pictures the Mighty Wurlitzer, but his MRI shows a harmonica.

              • Origami Isopod

                ITYM toilet paper roll kazoo.

            • efgoldman

              IANAMD

              Well, then, you’re as qualified to be a brain surgeon as Mango Malignancy is to be president.

              • Breadbaker

                Oddly, the brain surgeon in the Cabinet is in his position because he once lived in a house.

        • Woodrowfan

          can’t we wish for both??

        • DocAmazing

          You’re quite right; I was attempting humor. The sores are called gummas. I was trying to get to the “neurosyphilis” angle.

          • Origami Isopod

            Doc, you might appreciate this little ditty.

              • Origami Isopod

                The classics never get old.

                • It’s hard to beat the Holy Python.

                • wjts

                  The classics never get old.

                  Some die of drinking water
                  And some of drinking beer.
                  Some die of constipation
                  And some of diarrhea.
                  But of all the world’s diseases,
                  There’s none that can compare
                  To the drip, drip, drip
                  Of the syphilitic prick
                  Of a British Grenadier.

            • rhino

              That was simply amazing.

              • Origami Isopod

                The Four Skins put out an entire album of medical parodies in the ’60s. If you poke around on YouTube you can find more of them. That one, however, is my favorite.

  • Lurking Canadian

    What the fuck is she on about? She thinks news organizations ought to fire their own people for criticizing the President?

    If you want to suppress journalists, you by god send your jackbooted thugs to kick the door down and arrest them. Who ever heard of expecting them to be fired just ’cause?

    I mean, have some respect for tradition, lady.

    • ΧΤΠΔ

      Old news, but still funny: Camden’s Shame does standup.

      • rhino

        Link is not.

      • ΧΤΠΔ

        Oops; here’s the link.

        • rhino

          Jesus. She went from my contempt to my pity. Still no mercy though.

          • Captain Oblivious

            Once they get that high up the food chain, they lose all right even to pity.

    • dogboy

      This seems related

      This is Trump’s understanding of journalism; it’s the bubble in which he lived for the decade before his campaign began, and it shocks and enrages him when journalism decides to be something other than flattery-for-access. And his team, many members of which are committed to turning his imagined reality into actual reality, is doing everything it can to support his viewpoint.

      • LosGatosCA

        He misses the REAL journalism of Billy Bush.

      • sigaba

        There’s this story about Kaiser Wilhelm that his underlings never let him read a newspaper. What they did instead is the had a press in the basement of the German Foreign Office and every morning they would run off a single edition newspaper, on gold-edged paper just for his All-Highness. The paper would mostly be culled from wire services but carefully edited not to be too upsetting or critical. There are a lot of documents from the July Crisis, like the Serbian reply to Austria’s ultimatum, that it was clear afterward he had never read.

      • Origami Isopod

        He thinks journalists should be publicists? I can see why Gamergaters like him.

    • rewenzo

      I think her theory is that all journalists who predicted a Clinton victory are honor-bound to commit seppuku. Those who do not, are bound to wander the new media landscape without a master to serve. Or something. It’s been a while since I saw Ronin.

      • ΧΤΠΔ

        Her boss first.

      • LosGatosCA

        like all those Republicans who predicted Iraq would be a cakewalk.

        And journalists who were in the cheerleading section.

      • lff

        Well I very nearly agree with her on some of the outlandish predictions that were made by the DailyKos, and HuffPost. From their pages you would have thought that not only was Clinton a sure think, but a Democratic Senate and probably a Democratic House were highly likely. And then they had the temerity to beat up on Nate Silver and 538 for being too pessimistic at 70% favorable for Clinton – at least he hedged it with a possible popular/Electoral College split.

        I do believe those overoptimistic prognostications damaged Clinton severely by lowering turnout and were a major factor in her loss.

        Fire the bastards!

        lff

  • dmsilev

    Trump and his team “turn the other cheek”?

    Can’t she at least try to make her lies plausible?

    • N__B

      Showing your ass is a kind of turning the other cheek.

    • DocAmazing

      Well, he does like to have both sides kissed before buckling up…

  • John Revolta

    “Don’t report the stupid things I say. Only report the cool things I say. Also, fire anyone who criticizes anything we do. That’s how we’re gonna make America great again. Also, don’t report any of what I just said or you’re fired. Really, how hard is this?”

    • carolannie

      Revolta-ing

      • carolannie

        Of course, she only says stupid things, not cool things, so that’s pretty much a lost cause

  • carolannie

    Talk smack? “Ripped a new one”? Seriously? A supposedly educated person representing the President on talk shows and she uses language like this? Please see the idiotic (somehow I stumbled on this) vulgar back and forthing between Rihanna and Azealia Banks (who? yes I know). I suppose this might be what we have to look forward to from our WH.

    I can’t even…

    • ΧΤΠΔ

      Oh my god, I know all about Azealia Banks, and she’s like if Canibus & Laura Ingraham had a loathechild.

  • Warren Terra

    “I went on three network shows and spoke for 35 minutes on three network Sunday shows. You know what got picked? The fact that I said ‘alternative facts,’ not the fact that I ripped a new one to some of those hosts that they never cover the facts that matter,” Conway said.

    In the words of the old, old joke, you fnck one goat …

  • Planner8

    We turn grab the other cheek.

  • Ken

    I like “night gaunt”, because the metaphor of Cthulhu worship fits with this misadministration on several levels. (At least I hope it’s a metaphor.)

    Plus the Mythos has enough titans monsters that we can play match-the-staffer all day long. Bannon is a shoggoth, clearly.

    • upstate_cyclist

      Also the horrid lovecraftian racism.

    • ZakMcKrackenAndTheAlienMindbenders

      It’s all fun and games until Trump starts sending Seal teams on quests throughout the Middle East to find the real Necronomicon.

    • daves09

      Has anyone else noticed that no matter where Bannon is the background always looks like the cheapest trailer in the worst trailer park in East Asshole,Ala.? Possibly contagious crapulence?
      And Bannon gets fatter and Conway more famished looking-how Lovecraftian is that?

      • ZakMcKrackenAndTheAlienMindbenders

        Not really, but then again since a little of the social work I’ve done through the years has included home visits to children whose families are among the poorest of the rural poor, I’m perhaps desensitized to the aesthetics of the “worst trailer parks in East Asshole” USA.

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      CASE NIGHTMARE ORANGE, people.

  • keta

    It’s almost…fun…watching Trump’s closest horrors assuming his thin-skinned petulance, his misplaced martyrdom, his muddled misconceptions of what role media plays in a democracy.

    The push-back is very obviously getting under the skin of these folks. And the more it unnerves them, the higher it needs to be amped up.

    • N__B

      One might even say that the protests, by pointing out the differences between sane policy and what we’ve got are heightening the contradictions.

      • efgoldman

        It’s almost…fun…watching Trump’s closest horrors assuming his thin-skinned petulance

        “Almost” because they are, still, in charge of a lot of shit.

    • The push-back is very obviously getting under the skin of these folks. And the more it unnerves them, the higher it needs to be amped up.

      Apparently Julia Louis-Dreyfus did her part tonight at the SAG awards.

      • Origami Isopod

        Whereas her best-known former co-star seems unable to cope with the new world he’s living in.

        • jeer9

          I don’t think Seinfeld (or Larry David, for that matter) have ever been terribly concerned with the hurt feelings engendered by politically incorrect speech so I’m not sure what this “new world” is that you think he isn’t able to cope with.

          The Lewis Black pun is of a piece with the episode in which toleration for gays/PC adherence is feigned with the line “not that there’s anything wrong with that,” or when he gets a woman’s phone number off an AIDS march sign-up list and Kramer refuses to wear the ribbon whereupon he’s beaten up by the two gay thugs. Not to mention all the shows which center around ridiculing a person’s physical attributes: large hands, high voices, obesity, mental disability.

          It’s who he is. He finds humor in uncomfortable places (necking while at a viewing of Schindler’s List!) He’s about as capable of resisting an easy (and thoughtless) pun as Chris Rock is of cleaning up his profanity.

          • witlesschum

            Seinfeld whines about it, though.

          • Origami Isopod

            I don’t think Seinfeld (or Larry David, for that matter) have ever been terribly concerned with the hurt feelings engendered oppression reinforced by politically incorrect bigoted speech

            Fixed that for you.

            so I’m not sure what this “new world” is that you think he isn’t able to cope with.

            The one in which he’s gone from media darling to obnoxious old uncle that the kids roll their eyes at.

            The Lewis Black pun is of a piece with the episode in which toleration for gays/PC adherence is feigned with the line “not that there’s anything wrong with that,”

            Yes, that smirky little disclaimer that has not gotten any better with age.

            Or when he gets a woman’s phone number off an AIDS march sign-up list and Kramer refuses to wear the ribbon whereupon he’s beaten up by the two gay thugs. Not to mention all the shows which center around ridiculing a person’s physical attributes: large hands, high voices, obesity, mental disability.

            If you think any of this is a good defense of the Lewis Black joke, you’re wrong.

            It’s who he is.

            I.e., an asshole.

            He’s about as capable of resisting an easy (and thoughtless) pun as Chris Rock is of cleaning up his profanity.

            Then he can suck it up when he gets flak on social media.

            • jeer9

              The one in which he’s gone from media darling to obnoxious old uncle that the kids roll their eyes at.

              Since when is a string of tweets from some humorless scolds a world-changer? He appeared with Michelle Obama and Chappelle on her final Fallon guest spot as First Lady (and BHO rode with the oppressive bigot in a Corvette on his show.) Yes, he’s truly being ostracized.

              Comedians annoy people by poking holes in social platitudes, often by creating characters whose hypocrisy they satirize, which is why the final episode of Seinfeld had all of them on trial for being such awful people. But you wouldn’t understand that because you think Tracy Flick was the heroine of Election.

              Do please release the list of comedies approved of by OI that are acceptable to read and watch and which don’t offend anyone. Must be a humdinger of frightened titters and glances over the shoulder.

              • Origami Isopod

                But you wouldn’t understand that because you think Tracy Flick was the heroine of Election.

                Whereas, I’m sure, you think Jim McAllister was its hero. Haven’t we had at least a few posts about his fans here before?

                • jeer9

                  Whereas, I’m sure, you think Jim McAllister was its hero.

                  Citations omitted.

                  Wasn’t that the discussion where you couldn’t even keep the characters straight? LOL.

  • Denverite

    Thanks for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Karen O makes my Sunday night.

  • You know what got picked? The fact that I said ‘alternative facts,’

    Hey, at least you actually said it.

    Al Gore never said he “invented the internet” but that didn’t stop you guys from building a cottage industry out of it.

    Deal with it.

    • LosGatosCA

      If there ever was a time for

      boo-fucking-hoo

      this is definitely it.

    • ZakMcKrackenAndTheAlienMindbenders

      see also, Love Story

    • lff

      Yeah but Gore was a Liberal – or a Democrat at least.

      lff

  • MyOhMy

    “I haven’t slept in months.”

    http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/important-sleep-habits#1

    Might explain the meltdown.

    • Being a bit of an expert on sleep deprivation, a human being cannot go months without sleep.

      • I was going to say: wouldn’t going months without sleep literally kill you?

        • You wouldn’t make it that long.

          Also you would start hallucinating long before then.

          • I suspected as much. Hallucinations would explain some of Conway’s behaviour, though.

            • DrDick

              Trump’s as well.

              • True, but I suspect the more likely explanation for most of the shitgibbon’s behaviour is a combination of malignant narcissism and early-onset dementia. I won’t rule out the possibility that he suffers hallucinations as well, though.

                • Captain Oblivious

                  There have also long been rumors that he’s addicted to diet pills, aka speed. Amphetamines in sufficient quantity can cause hallucinations.

                • postmodulator

                  There have also long been rumors that he’s addicted to diet pills…

                  I do see a possible reason to disbelieve that rumor.

                • ZakMcKrackenAndTheAlienMindbenders

                  @Captain Oblivious yeah, Trump’s status as a pill popper is chronicled in an entertaining way by Ashley Feinberg here http://gawker.com/rumor-doctor-prescribes-donald-trump-cheap-speed-1782901680 . Also per the article, Trump’s incredibly entertaining doctor admits to prescribing him “cheap speed.” (At least JFK, always classy af, got injections of the good stuff from the super-fashionable “Dr Feelgood.”

                  @ post modulator–lolol because he’s fat, yeah. But obesity actually isn’t uncommon among people who are hooked on diet pills since being fidgety/irritable/nervous/and having racing thoughts doesn’t actually burn that many calories and since the diminished impulse control can lead to gluttony.

              • dsidhe

                No, they really wouldn’t. I hallucinate quite a bit, aural, odor, and visual. I’ve hallucinated from sleep dep, from medications, from recreational drugs, from migraines, and because I’m schizophrenic.

                I really haven’t seen anything that indicates that he’s seeing or hearing things the rest of us don’t. He’s not jumpy, if anything he tends to be inert when he’s not talking. He doesn’t talk to people who aren’t there, he doesn’t shift his eyes around or watch the shadows, he doesn’t in any way indicate that he can’t recognize the people who are talking to him. He doesn’t look like he’s puzzled, even when he’s clearly clueless, and the people around him give no indication that they’re used to seeing him respond to things that aren’t there.

                He’s just not nervous or uncertain enough. If anything, he’s too confident and certain, even when he’s wrong.

                I’d be interested to know what the rest of you are seeing, though, since, as established, I’m not always seeing the same thing as the rest of you. It’s possible to get used to your hallucinations enough that you can mostly keep in mind they’re not real, but there are tells. He doesn’t have them.

          • rhino

            I started hallucinating after 5 days, it was sufficiently unpleasant that I ended the experiment and slept. Between the sensations of crawling insects under my skin, and the extremely unpleasant indistinct voices, and the shadowy menacing figures in the corners of my eyes, I have no wish to repeat the experience.

            • DocAmazing

              the shadowy menacing figures in the corners of my eyes

              Yeah, when I worked several consecutive shifts at an all-night copy shop, we used to call that “the bunnies”. I got reacquainted with them in med school and residency.

        • ΧΤΠΔ

          Yes.

          It’s also worth noting that the Guinness Book of World Records doesn’t recognize periods of sleeplessness longer than 11 days, because of the risks involved.

          • rhino

            That was a fascinating article.

            Here is another more scholarly one. I came across this disease while researching sodium oxybate, (more commonly known as ghb), a prescription sleep aid. There has been some success treating FFI with it.

        • rhino

          No, because you would sleep, no matter what was keeping you awake.

        • LosGatosCA

          Michael Jackson went 60 days without real sleep.

          That seems to be the limit.

          • BiloSagdiyev

            Warren Zevon is finally catching up on his sleep now.

      • Captain Oblivious

        I used to play bridge with a guy who did not truly sleep. He did need a couple hours a night of kind of half-sleeping, but that was it. And like most people, he couldn’t stay fully awake for more than 3 days straight.

      • Snarki, child of Loki

        “a human being cannot go months without sleep.”

        And right there we see what America is dealing with at this point.

    • Based on the unhinged nature of her rant I thought so too but she actually says “I haven’t slept in in months “, presumably from appearing on all the Sunday morning shows. Truly a modern day martyr.

      • I guess things are tough all over.

      • gmoot

        Wait, doesn’t she have kids? Or is she as involved in their lives as Deadbeat Dad Bannon was in his kids’ lives?

        • liberalrob

          4, according to Wikipedia.

        • Hogan

          That might be for the best. Last I heard she was insisting her daughter wear blue on Memorial Day, and turquoise doesn’t count.

  • Hogan

    I’m generally opposed to civil commitment, but this is making me reconsider.

    • efgoldman

      I’m generally opposed to civil commitment, but this is making me reconsider.

      Meh, if they all retreated to the Tower and never came out, dayenu.

  • tsam

    The loud mouthed tough guys sure are fragile little things. Politics is adult world. If they wound this easily, wait until they actually lose a political fight.

    • Typical bullies. They can dish it out but they can’t take it.

    • ΧΤΠΔ

      Whaddya think the odds are that Blithering Butthole decides to pull a Bullshit Moose in 2020, voters be damned (assuming he even makes it that long)?

      • Hogan

        I know those words, but that sentence makes no sense.

        • Should have been “Bull(shit) Moose”. (No comment on the sentence’s sense or lack thereof on any deeper level than the merely lexical.)

        • ΧΤΠΔ

          In English: Is Donald likely to go third-party or run as the Republican incumbent regardless of his approval ratings in 2020 (if he’s even holding office by then)?

          • Hogan

            Thank you.

          • tsam

            He’s a week into a 4 year sentence of being on duty every minute of every day. I think he’ll have all his gear packed and one foot out the door within a year. All he’s done so far is sit at his desk and sign Nuremberg Laws. Wait until he has to work with Congress on something like a budget fight.

            • LosGatosCA

              The tough part of the job for Trump is going to be how to learn to be George W Bush.

              Don’t give a shit, pass it off to Pence and go golfing for 4 years.

              ‘Watch this shot’

              His goal should be to break Bush’s vacation record by the midterms.

              • ΧΤΠΔ

                He’ll be completely, legitimately psychotic before the year is over. By January 1, I expect him to have been relieved of his duties via:

                a) Forcible removal from office by impeachment and/or incapacitation,
                b) Death by massive stroke or myocardial infarction, or
                c) Getting shot.

                Assuming continuity between this week and his administration, there is no way Butthole keeps office after the midterms.

                • liberalrob

                  He’s got less than a month to get his first State of the Union message ready. I may actually watch this one, just to see how much of a trainwreck it is.

                  Feb. 28th, mark your calendars…

                • Snarki, child of Loki

                  “Feb. 28th, mark your calendars…”

                  Someone needs to tweet Trump that it’s scheduled for Feb 29th this year.

                • daves09

                  It will all be dedicated to explaining how in a mere five weeks the US has been transformed from the reeking shithole it was then into the Trumpian paradise it is now.

      • Origami Isopod

        There’s a “Bullshit Moose and squirrel must die” joke in there somewhere….

        • N__B

          squirrel

          Preibus is a rodent but not, I think, a squirrel.

          • This comparison is simply unfair to rodents.

            • rhino

              I quite literally edited a piece in another thread to eliminate the use of the word ‘pig’ because I didn’t feel it was appropriate to insult such a noble animal bu associating it with a trumpista.

              I’m actually finding it a challenge to find appropriate insults for these peoples.

              • There aren’t many. Even turds can be used as fertiliser.

              • DocAmazing

                Centipedes.
                Smallpox virus.
                Poison oak.

                That’s all I’ve got.

                • Karen24

                  FIre ants. Grackles. Cockroaches. Japanese beetles.

                • Snarki, child of Loki

                  Guinea worm.

    • Karen24

      One recalls what a former Democratic holder of Trump’s office said about heat and kitchens.

  • JasonGWB

    Not going to lie as much as the music elitists want to disparage the Yeah Yeah Yeahs…I like ’em.

  • JDM

    I’d be scared to climb steps if they led to her.

  • efgoldman

    I think it’s wonderful that Mike Wallace’s boy committed actual journalism just by keeping his mouth shut and letting her destroy herself.
    I’m sure when she got back to the WH, Nectarine Nutcake gave her an extra pat on the ass (yeww) for doing a great job, the best.

    • LosGatosCA
      • JohnT

        That was weird, right? I have done plenty of these kind of photos, and I’m sure I keep my arm around the waist of my partner. Trumpish creepiness must be infectious (or Ivanka married someone with similiarities to her father, I guess).

        • muddy

          I felt like he was doing it because they were in front of a mirror and he wanted everyone to see his Hand of Ownership. He probably wouldn’t bother if no one could see.

          • John Revolta

            It seems to me that she’s had a hand on her ass for most of her life, to the point where it now seems perfectly normal and even proper. Sad.

            • tsam

              They’re married. I do that to my wife pretty frequently. I think this is a non-issue.

              • John Revolta

                In public? Well, whatever. I ain’t no Mr. Decorum. What I was getting at, Daddy’s been seen grabbing her ass too, right out on stage for Chrissake. Doubt it was the first time.

  • GeorgeBurnsWasRight

    If this were a real business, if the mainstream media were a thriving private-sector business that turned a profit . .

    WTF is she talking about? The mainstream media are nearly all businesses that turn a profit. They’re profit centers of large multi-national corporations each of whom could buy and sell Trump with the change in their sofa cushions.

    • Breadbaker

      That’s essentially Trump admitting his own businesses don’t turn a profit. Trump never really talks about anyone else. Meryl Streep isn’ overrated either.

    • John Revolta

      In fact, they’ve been selling Trump for months and months now, and doing quite nicely.

  • Roger Ailes

    Nice to see that the Cryptkeeper and Reince Preibus share anal penetration fantasies. I predict a hookup.

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