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It’s 3 AM. Do you know where your Republican presidential nominee is?

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If you guessed tweeting up a storm about how Alice Machado is a “disgusting” slut, while trafficking in crazy conspiracy theories about how Hillary turned her into a US citizen so she could make him look bad, you win a lifetime supply of free tuition to Trump University.

One of the more impressive things about this is that Trump likes to make a big deal about how he doesn’t drink, so this is all being done while sober, assuming being drunk on 180-proof narcissistic rage doesn’t count.

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