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THE MOFONGO INCIDENT

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OLDMAN VIRGIL: FINALLY YOU MAKE ME MY MOFONGO

SEK: I’m making me mofongo.

OLDMAN VIRGIL: I AM PUERTO RICAN GIVE ME MY MOFONGO

SEK: You’re from Mississippi, you’re not —

OLDMAN VIRGIL: PUT SHRIMP IN MY MOFONGO

SEK: Get out of the kitchen.

OLDMAN VIRGIL: PUT PIG IN MY MOFONGO

SEK: Knock it off.

OLDMAN VIRGIL: PUT MORE PIG IN MY MOFONGO

SEK: Do not hop on the counter.

OLDMAN VIRGIL: [hops on counter] I AM PUERTO RICAN GIVE ME MY MOFONGO

SEK: [tosses OLDMAN VIRGIL out of the kitchen]

OLDMAN VIRGIL: [from the library] I AM PUERTO RICAN GIVE ME MY MOFONGO

SEK: Shut up!

OLDMAN VIRGIL: I AM PUERTO RICAN GIVE ME MY MOFONGO

SEK: [hears crashing in the library]

OLDMAN VIRGIL: WHAT I DON’T KNOW BEATS ME I DIDN’T DO IT

SEK: I didn’t say anything. I think I preferred it when you couldn’t jump quite so

OLDMAN VIRGIL: TAKE THAT BACK YOU DON’T MEAN IT

SEK: You’re right, I’m sorry, that was awful of me to even —

OLDMAN VIRGIL: STOP YOUR WORDS APOLOGIZE WITH MY MOFONGO

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  • SEK

    I forget not all of you can read Facebook posts. That second links goes to this:

    THE VET: He is such a handsome boy.

    OLDMAN VIRGIL: I AM SUCH A HANDSOME BOY

    THE VET: He’s really fit for his age.

    OLDMAN VIRGIL: I AM REALLY FIT FOR MY AGE

    THE VET: But he has a little arthritis down his spine here.

    OLDMAN VIRGIL: BUT I HAVE A LITTLE ARTHRITIS DOWN MY HEY WHAT NOW

    THE VET: He’ll need monthly injections of cat glucosamine.

    OLDMAN VIRGIL: NO HE WILL NOT

    THE VET: I can teach you how to give them to him.

    OLDMAN VIRGIL: NO YOU CAN NOT

    THE VET: That way you don’t have to pay for a visit every time.

    SEK: That’d be fantastic.

    OLDMAN VIRGIL: YOU MAKE HIM PAY HE DESERVES TO PAY

    SEK: Will you be quiet?

    OLDMAN VIRGIL: FINE THEN I WILL MAKE HIM PAY HE WILL PAY

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      See? This is how Veterinary Health Care does such a good job of controlling costs.

      SKIN IN THE GAME

      • SEK

        No kidding — I’m extremely pissed at my previous vet for making me take Virgil’s brother in once a month for a shot I could’ve easily given him. It’s almost like they want that extra visitation charge. Much happier with this new one caring for the boys. (They both have the same arthritic back, which makes sense, as it’s likely congenital and they’re brothers.)

  • helkamet

    It’s sooo hard to get good staff

    • BigHank53

      Oh, I don’t agree. Every single cat I’ve ever hired turned out to be a psychopathic, murderous, self-centered little shit. They’re astoundingly consistent. It just means you have to be very careful where they’re located in your org chart.

  • Captain Oblivious

    Okay, I’m impressed.

    Mofongo appears exactly nowhere on my bucket list of things to cook before I die. Not that I don’t like a good mofongo, but it would never occur to me to make my own.

  • King Goat

    Goodness I love this series of posts…Please keep them coming!

    • Pseudonym

      OLDMAN CAT is on Facebook if you want to follow.

      • Snarki, child of Loki

        I don’t need another cat on my face, or on my book, thankyouverymuch.

  • Aubergine

    We had to give our cat subcutaneous fluids the last year or so of his life. After 14 years his kidneys were going fast. We’d jab the needle in the loose skin at the nape of his neck. 100 ml later he was good to go for another few days.

    Surprisingly, he was pretty good about the whole process once you snagged and stabbed him, but if he ever saw both of us in the kitchen (where we usually did this) he was out of there like a cat out of hell. RIP Scruffy 1987-2002.

    • steverinoCT

      My cats were very mellow about drugs and shots, but once in a flea crisis I corraled them one at a time in the bathroom and sprayed the heck out of them. Ever after, I could spook them by going “Pssssshhh!”

      Immediately after, wet and smelly with chemicals, they came to me on the couch for comforting, which leads me to some insight on abused people.

      I vanquished the fleas, BTW– holy cow, Florida fleas. Never an issue growing up in NJ.

  • Lester Freamon’s Tweedy Impertinence

    I’ve never had mofongo but it sounds great. I think I’d have to get it at a restaurant though because no plantains enter my kitchen without being made into tostones.
    TOSTONES, I say!

    • trollhattan

      Mofongo just entrée in game of life.

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