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What girls want

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This would certainly help ‘splain what gives with marketing that is aimed at women.

SOME AD GUYS SPITBALL HOW BEST TO MARKET TO WOMEN.

AGENDA: MARKETING TO WOMEN.

ATTENDEES: MARK, ED, STEVE, MIKE, MIKE S, PETE, BEN, MIKE H, DAVE, AARON, DAN, AND DAVE P.

10:20 am
Meeting begins

DAVE P.: Owls. Something with owls.

ED: Yes.

PETE: Exactly.

MARK: It’s bold. And if there’s one thing I like, it’s bold.

MIKE S.: But not like a Hooters owl.

ED: No. It’s our job, as marketers/male feminists, to empower women, through marketing.

MIKE H.: I could go for some wings.

[10:25 am: Meeting paused for coffee.]

10:45 am
Meeting resumes

AARON: A scarf cannon — like a T-shirt cannon, but with scarves.

DAN: Yes.

BEN: Shooting scarves at women in the street, but in a fun way.

MIKE H.: Exactly. Guerrilla marketing. It’ll get people talking.

DAN: I have never met a woman who doesn’t like a good scarf, and let me tell you, I have met women.

[10:55 pm: Meeting paused for foosball game.]

11:40 am
Meeting resumes

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  • N__B

    Lisa: Dad, women won’t like being shot in the face.

    Homer: Women will like what I tell them to like.

    • Nobdy

      Sounds like Phil Spector could have used a Lisa of his own to advise him.

  • Nobdy

    Why would you pause a meeting for a foosball game? Foosball is the ultimate creativity stoker.

    On an unrelated note, women love armless men in soccer jerseys who spin around on sticks.

  • Todd

    Peggy: I don’t mind fantasies but shouldn’t it be a female one?
    Don: Peggy I know you understand how this works. Men want her. Women want to be her.
    Peggy: if that’s true…
    Don: It is. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. …

    • Gregor Sansa

      That show is actually pretty quotable. But they played it straight, so you don’t realize it at first.

      ….deep thoughts, by Gregor Sansa.

      • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

        I miss it. I’m ready for the “Better Call Saul” type spinoff “Campbells’ Soup!” Or better still “Your Pal Sal” or “His Sal Friday”

  • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

    “ED: You know what’s fun? The little puns they write on chalkboards outside bars. They are a lot of fun. I walked by one that said, “COME IN HERE IF…” — no, shit, wait… no, it said “IF YOU’RE ALREADY…” — fuck, what was it? It’ll come to me. Hang on.”

    Down the block, there’s a bro house (4+ post college dudes, giant couch, TV, not much else). They have proudly placed the bar chalkboard they stole (Yuengling, natch) on the sidewalk in front of it. Those guys know how to live.

    • ThrottleJockey

      It mustve been a long time since I’ve stepped out to a bar. That. Is. Not. A. Thing. Here.

      ETA: I do like those Neon Beer signs that people put up in their Man Caves though. Bud Light Lime. Or Corona. Kinda cool.

      • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

        Yeah, I’m from the Northwest and wanted an Olympia neon sign in my college day.

        The chalkboard wit seems to be an affluent post-collegiate Northeastern white kid thing. The only places I’ve seen it are the kind of “faux dive bar-cum-gastropub” places those dudes frequent (so the ad industry link makes sense).

  • ThresherK (KadeKo)

    I remember an actual Volvo ad from the 1980s imagining how other automakers had to retrain their salesmen (no sic) to not insult women.

    Electroshock was applied when salesmen said things like, “Hello little lady!” and “It even comes in pink!”

    (Can’t find on the internets, sorry.)

    (And, yes, I’m a Volvo guy.)

    • keta

      VW, circa ’64, I believe: lousy women drivers.

      In 1973 Subaru urges you to take hold of her rack and pinion steering.

      • sparks

        I remember a Rent-A-Truck commercial from the ’70s (a national chain) that managed to be both racist and sexist.

        • ThrottleJockey

          IN the trucking industry? I’m shocked.

        • Ahuitzotl

          Id be more amazed you could find a truck ad in the 70s that wasnt either

  • pianomover
  • UncleEbeneezer

    A treasure hunt for an owl is something that my wife (and myself as well) would totally be into.

    • Ahuitzotl

      they taste that good?

  • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

    As the father of a 2 year-old woman, SO MANY OWLS ALREADY WHY. When did owls become the thing for little girls stuff – clothes, pajama’d, sippy cups, lunch carriers, backpacks. One day I looked up and my daughter had spent the day festooned with no less than 200 owls. I mean, I guess it’s better than pony/ kitten/ puppy/ princess all the time, but WHEREFORE BIG OWL.

    • Lee Rudolph

      Since Big Duck took over at Minerva’s place, the owls have had to diversify.

    • efgoldman

      As the father of a 2 year-old woman, SO MANY OWLS ALREADY WHY.

      Granddaughter has only one owl (not counting Pooh characters, which live at our house); it’s as big as she is and lives in her rocking chair.
      But she has, I think, 14 bears, ranging in size from a handful to, again, as big as she is. And they each have a name.
      She’s 2-1/2.

    • Malaclypse

      Mini-Mal was all about the ducks.

  • Jeff Ryan

    You had me at scarfs but lost me at foosball.

  • I was told there would be two medieval monks here.

    • Becker

      No, The Toast is that way.

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