Rubiobot Settings Turned to “Insult Comic Dog”

Let us dispel with the idea that the Rubibot cannot be programmed to imitate the frontrunner:

For the first eight minutes of his final pre-Super Tuesday rally in Texas, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) ditched one of the tightest stump speeches in politics and hurled a luxury tower’s worth of kitchen sinks at Donald Trump. He mocked his age. He claimed “every” Trump business had gone bankrupt.

And then he speculated, in front of 500-odd primary voters, that the Republican front-runner might have lost control of his bladder at Thursday night’s debate.

“He called me Mr. Meltdown,” said Rubio, deriding the botched spelling of Trump’s post-debate tweets. “Let me tell you, during one of the breaks — two of the breaks — he went backstage. He was having a meltdown. First he had this little makeup thing, applying makeup around his mustache, because he had one of those sweat mustaches. Then he asked for a full-length mirror. I don’t know why, because the podium goes up to here. Maybe he was making sure his pants weren’t wet. I don’t know.”

Having said that, his oppo research team is doing some bang-up work:

Rubio’s crowd, the first to hear this extended routine, rumbled with laughter. But not every Trump insult landed. Like he had in the debate, Rubio appeared to shake a folder of opposition research until it was emptied, rattling off vanished Trump brand ventures (“You ever heard of Trump Vodka?“) and suggesting he was almost uniquely horrible at being a businessman.

That was a thing! Who knew?

The fact that the qualification clause permits someone to be president even though they order steak well-done and put their name on “super-premium” vodka must be considered one of the major failures of the Constitution.