Once upon there was a lunatic sci-fi writer who hated Jennifer Lawrence’s toned biceps. The lunatic wrote thousands upon thousands of words describing his fear of her biceps in the most florid, pretentious language imaginable. He also cried and gnashed his teeth a lot. This took up most of his time, but not all of it. He still managed to find time to complain–in the most florid, pretentious language possible– about how lunatic homophobes and misogynists were sci-fi’s most mistreated minority.
Seriously. John C. Wrong needs to familiarize himself with the works of this fine young writer:
“Once upon a time something was sticking out of something. The end.”
— Preschool Gems (@PreschoolGems) April 14, 2014
Now, that is how you grab the audience’s attention and leave it wanting more.