Friday Creatures Feature: I don’t think you’re ready for this jellyfish Edition

Here at bspencer Laboratories, our team of people who  purchased lab coats from the Internet scientists are always working hard to invent new ways to make you hate bspencer. We’ve been the brains behind making you think about William F. Buckley twerking and making you think about Bill O’Reilly’s boner. But we’re not content to stop there, no. At bspencer Laboratories we know there are always innovations to made in the field of making you wish you hadn’t clicked on a bspencer post.

Tonight, we give you shapeshifting erotica, which is–and I’m not exaggerating when I say this–probably the reason humankind itself evolved. For centuries, heck, probably eons, people have asked “Why are we here?” Well, I have the answer:

We’re here so we could create art as transcendent and lyrical as gay four-way cuttlefish erotica. Finally, we, as a species, have arrived. Although I’ve read the book, and let me tell you–the cuttlefish are catching up fast. But don’t get cocky, cuttlefish. You don’t yet have a brain that can ask a question as complex as “How can I write bestiality porn but make it, like, more legit?”

It’s really kind of beautiful if you think about, which I don’t recommend you do for very long if you value your sanity.

Lastly, we here at bspencer Laboratories would like you to know that we are not huge perverts, but that frequent commenter Origami Isopod is, so blame her for this entry. (Thanks for the link Origami. I chuckled. Then shit got real.)