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Trent Richardson is the Most Extraordinary Player Since Saving Private Ryan!

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I was amused by Dave’s roundup of evaluations of the 2012 Seahawks draft.  (In fairness, the consensus that Irvin was a limited player who wasn’t the best defensive end left on the board was right; it’s just that getting Wagner and Wilson in the 2nd and 3rd rounds more than makes up for it.)  Of course, 2012 had an even better test for whether analysts are just in thrall to old-school bullshit.   The Cleveland Browns had a historically bad draft, trading up to blow a 3rd overall pick on a running back (who was clearly not a once-a-generation extraordinary talent, unless you think Barry Sanders would have sat on the bench behind Mark Ingram as a sophomore) and then drafting a 28-year-old QB with fewer than 30 starts under his belt later in the 1st round.  It was the ultimate in anachronistic nonsense about how to build a team: “Ground and pound! Does he look like a quarterback?”  So how did the writers who thought that Schneider and Carroll can’t pick players evaluate the draft that would get Mike Holmgren fired?  The results are predictably hilarious! The Sporting News:

Cleveland Browns (A-minus)
Key picks:
RB Trent Richardson, QB Brandon Weeden, T Mitchell Schwartz, WR Travis Benjamin.

They also went for the extreme makeover, offensive edition. It’s just Weeden isn’t Luck.

Trent Richardson is a extremely proactive new paradigm.  He’s totally in your face, to the extreme!  Admittedly, Brandon Weeden is no Ryan Tennehill Andrew Luck.

This one (who gave Seattle a D-) is even better:

Cleveland Browns A-

The Browns, who scored only 20 TDs last year, transformed their offense. They moved up to take Richardson, who scored 24 times last year and picked Weeden, who threw 37 TD passes as a 28-year-old college senior and will make Colt McCoy expendable.

Let’s leave aside the evaluation of a running back by his TDs from scrimmage as if that might indicate his impact in the NFL team (other recent players with 24 TDs from scrimmage: LaMichael James, Ka’Deem Carey.) Let’s even leave aside Weeden’s age apparently being mentioned as a positive. The line about “making Colt McCoy expendable” is the most awesome thing ever. It should have summoned Fire Joe Morgan from retirement.

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