The following is a guest post by my pet troll, who goes by many names, but for the purpose of this entry will go by “Desperately Sad Fuckface.” He’s taken a break from shitting his pants to write, so I hope you’ll reward his good behavior by reading this…
LGM readers, I’m frustrated. I’ve tried telling you how much bspencer sucks. I’ve listed her many unforgivable sins:
- She links to entries by other bloggers (an act heretofore unheard of in the blogging world)
- She posts pictures of her kid
- She sometimes writes in all caps
- She sometimes writes silly entries that are not like the silly entries by her co-authors
- She sometimes blogs about her interests (INTERESTS I DON’T SHARE)
yet some of you still refuse to acknowledge that she is worst thing since Hitler. So I grow restless. I’m no longer content to troll bhitler; I now turn my ire on you, her readers, her enablers.
If you display anything less than an active, visceral hatred of bhitler you run the risk of getting on my bhit list. So I urge you…please, think before you post. Think “Why am I joking with a woman who is pretty much Hitler’s much younger, more attractive twin sister?” Think “Is this wise? Do I want to risk Desperately Sad Fuckface’s wrath?” If your answer is “yes,” let me just say…you’ve been warned.
bspencer here. So, anyway, I was not aware that any of you were sucking up to me. But I have to be honest: the idea intrigues and pleases me, and I’d like to encourage your suckupitude.
How can you suck up to me? Well, there’s always complimenting my kid, but, ya know what? I’m not gonna do your work for you. Be creative. Think outside the box. The box is smelly and it’s filled with troll shit.
Let’s get this sucking up thing started!