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The Teddy Bears


I just realized that somehow I never posted The Teddy Bears here before. Imagine a silent movie version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears with Teddy Roosevelt coming in at the end for an, um, disturbing ending. And some early version claymation bears. And the bears in full Victorian dress. But mostly that disturbing, bizarre ending satirizing Teddy Roosevelt. This is a real favorite to show students.

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  • At long last, sir, have you no shame?

  • Sure looks to me like Goldilocks is played by a diminutive man in drag.

    • Anonymous

      I thought so, too.

  • The spanking scene is oddly disturbing because they’re not wearing any clothes. I fully realize that this is reasonable, even normal for bears, but since they’re clothed in the rest of the video….

    • I am rather a fan of that scene.

      What that says about me, I’ll let you speculate.

      • You bear bare bears better?

        • NewishLawyer

          He is a bare bear baiter.

      • Sorry, meant to say,

        You bear bare bear bottom beatings better?


        • rea

          Now wait a minute, Mr. Socks Fox!

          When a fox is in the bottle where the tweetle beetles battle
          with their paddles in a puddle on a noodle-eating poodle,
          THIS is what they call…

          …a tweetle beetle noodle poodle bottled paddled
          muddled duddled fuddled wuddled fox in socks, sir!

  • kgus

    Let’s just call it a parable of America and leave it at that, shall we?.

  • Da bears!

  • Western Dave

    Hm, assisting people in stealing stuff from your home. Shooting you and your family for no reason. Going back and taking the rest of your stuff and putting your kids in slavery – all in defense of white womanhood? Wow, Teddy Roosevelt is a modern Republican after all!

  • Lee Rudolph

    I have to confess that the details of the political satire escape me, somewhat. Busting the Plushie Trust? Assailing the malefactors of great ursinity? What?

    That’s a quarter hour of my innocence I’ll never get back, Loomis.

  • steverino

    …not to mention the Christmas carols for a soundtrack.

  • Atticus Dogsbody

    Angels We Have Heard on High followed by a dash of Greensleeves really lends to the atmosphere.

  • Funkula

    I really wonder whether it was intended to be such a pitch-perfect satire of colonialism or if it just came out that way due to a stupendous lack of self-awareness.

  • Teddy bears should not be made fun of. Teddy bears are always used as a symbol of hope, encouragement and many more. tsk

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