Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so very, very heavy
By SEK is drives to HIS IN-LAW’S to check something on the Internet before heading to Baton Rouge to reclaim all his worldly possessions from THE AWESOME HISPANIC MOVERS.
THE ROAD: I AM FULL OF DEER!
SEK: !?!
THE ROAD: FULL OF DEER!
SEK: !?!
THE ROAD: DEER DEER DEER!
SEK: SHIT SHIT SHIT! [slams on brakes] You could’ve said something.
THE ROAD: !?!
Having survived THE ROAD, SEK arrives in Baton Rouge. However, somewhere between California and Louisiana, the AWESOME HISPANIC MOVERS became GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS.
SEK: You can just put all my worldly possessions in this perfectly normally storage unit on my friend’s property.
GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: We cannot do that.
SEK: Why not?
GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: We do not do that.
SEK: !?!
GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: Here is what you do, I tell you. You rent U-Haul, we meet in parking lot. You move your stuff to U-Haul, drive to home and costs you only one hundred.
SEK: To rent a U-Haul for a day?
GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: For us to unload alone. Fifty if you help.
SEK: Am I not already paying you a —
GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: You pay company, we are here. You want us unload, you pay us.
SEK: Just so I have this right: I pay for a U-Haul, we meet in a parking lot, I hand you cash, and then I have to unload everything myself later?
GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: Fifty you help, hundred you don’t.
SEK: I’ll help.
GIANT ANGRY TATTOOED BELARUSIANS: Please to be sure. For two hundred we walk on grass even.
SEK: I WILL HELP.
SEK then is to be unloading a U-Haul by his lonesome, waiting for VERY STRONG GODCHILD and HIS VERY STRONG GODCHILD’S BROTHER to make finish with swim practice and become UNPAID CHILD LABORERS.