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Principled conservative Ted Cruz calls federal relief for Hurricane Sandy pork, wants federal relief after fertilizer plant explosion in Texas.

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  • John Costello

    It should be attached to a sweeping immigration reform and amnesty bill.

  • DocAmazing

    Fertilizer, distributed via a blast of hot air, with destructive results.

    Just another day at the office for Ted Cruz.

    • c u n d gulag

      Nice!

    • Origami Isopod

      Perfect.

    • I’m not worthy!

  • I’d like to see some of the congressional/senatorial delegations from the Northeast ask him why they should bother to vote for his plea for aid.

    • TribecaMike

      You’ve inspired me to write my New York representatives and point that out to them.

  • cpinva

    i want to know how ted cruz found out about harvard law’s “i am a ginormous dumbass” class quota, and gained acceptance via it? hell, if i’d known about that, i could be, even as we speak, a disgustingly rich wall street lawyer. in my next life, i’m going to demand a better grade of high school & college advisers.

    • firefall

      Just demand richer parents, it works for so many

  • Jewish Steel

    Surprise, surprise!

    – G. Pyle, USMC

  • Jamie

    In fairness, I…

    Got nothin.

    • TT

      All I got is that Ted Cruz is a genuinely terrible person.

    • isaiah

      Well, in actual fairness, I think Ted Cruz at least claimed that he was OK with the relief part of the Sandy relief package, he was just opposed to doing stuff to prevent future disasters.

      • Domino

        One of the saddest realities of politics –

        We can save so much money, lives, pain, and suffering if we invested more in efforts to minimize natural disasters like hurricanes, yet we don’t. Article I read stated that any pol who advances said spending will gain almost nothing for it, because its hard to sell “I don’t want a natural disaster to occur, but we should be ready,” while its much easier to sell “a natural disaster occurred, let us rebuild everything the way it was before.”

        • Doc R

          Lovely how “industrial disaster” can be substituted so cleanly here..

      • Unhinged Liberal

        I think Ted Cruz at least claimed that he was OK with the relief part of the Sandy relief package, he was just opposed to doing stuff to prevent future disasters.

        Mmmmmm…..NO!

        As he clearly stated, he was opposed to the pork in the bill that had absolutely NOTHING to do with the Sandy storm.

        It’s a reasonable objection.

        But hey, reasonability ain’t the hallmark here at LGM. It’s agenda, bebe!!!

  • Eric

    I thought that under Cruz’s free market principles there would be no need for federal aid. The reason there is no need for regulations is because businesses like this take care if it themselves right? They would never use unsafe practices because it s bad business and in te unlikely event that there is an accident they would of course have adequate insurance to cover it.

    • Bob Loblaw

      We worship a Free Market God. And sometimes that God demands a sacrifice.

      • LosGatosCA

        We worship a Free Market God. And sometimes that God demands a your sacrifice

        He and ‘Free Fire Judicial Zone’ Cornyn are a matched set of nastiness.

      • timb

        I received a response on the NRO that actually said the death of people is the price we pay for the freedom to have guns

    • LoriK

      You don’t understand. Regulations exist (ignore the fact that they’re not enforced) and the existence of regulations forces businesses to cheat. If only the statist Left would allow us to have a true free market this would not happen.

      Internet glibertarians said it, so it must be true.

  • Breadbaker

    Hurricane Sandy, like the Boston Marathon bombing, is essentially part of the cost of civilization; we live on a wild planet and a free society, and some of the cost of each is some form of disaster now and then.

    The West, Texas explosion was foreseeable, preventable and containable by simple actions like not lying to the feds about what was on the premises, not locating the plant next to two schools in the middle of a populated area and the kind of safety precautions that insurance companies (and union shop stewards) routinely impose. But if you’re self-insured, you’re basically socializing your losses and privatizing your profit. Some “free market.”

    • Eric

      Yeah, snark aside would I’d like to see if the federal government step in to cover whatever the plants insurance doesn’t then fine the owner whatever the cost is.

      • cpinva

        only for the individuals and businesses other than the plant. also, i’d like to hope they won’t be allowed to rebuild in the same location.

        i’m not holding my breath.

        • RedSquareBear

          Why rebuild where there’s so much newly cleared land around it perfect for building on?

  • Pooh

    Nobody aside from everybody could have seen this coming.

  • c u n d gulag

    It’s all Free-market Principles,” until something happens in YOUR back yard, and you remember that people, no matter how feckin’ stupid they may have been for voting for your Teabagging @$$ in the first place, expect something more than just you opining on TV and radio, and for print, and want you to do something to help them.

    From now on, he should be referred to, as “Senator Ted Cruz (R – Hypocrite, TX).”

    Oh, and that applies to every feckin’ political hypocrite from the South who used NY, and other Blue State, tax dollars, after every hurricane that hit them, in the past century, plus!

    Just secede, already.
    This time, we’ll be glad to see you do it.

    We can move forward, and you can work on your new Articles of Confederation, for your new country, RedneckJesusLovesUsLockedAndLoadedistan.
    We’ll figure out some way later on to exchange our rural Blue State redneck peckerwoods, for your good Red State Liberals.

    • Incontinentia Buttocks

      Just secede already.
      This time, we’ll be glad to see you do it.

      Sorry, c.

      Texans are US citizens and the 40% of them who are relatively sane still deserve those legal protections afforded them by the federal government. I know you’re just kidding here, but one of the reasons we have the 14th Amendment is that it became clear that sometimes a governing majority in a state will attempt to deprive political minorities of their rights and they can’t do that. That was a good principle in the 1860s, and it remains one today.

      • c u n d gulag

        Yeah, I’m only kidding.

        But, like I said, we can always work out some exchange program.

        I’d gladly wlecome some newly relocated Liberal Texans as neighbors, if we could get them in a trade for the ignorant and intolerant rednecks we’ve got in Upstate NY. ;-)

        • Eli is not. There is plenty of room for refugees from Austin.

          • Hogan

            My plan is that we keep Austin like West Germany kept West Berlin, with a heavily fortified and guarded road running to New Orleans.

    • As a native Texan, the only way you could get me to support secession would be if we got to expel the Bush family as part of the deal.

  • If only there was some way to punish Cruz for this crap without punishing the innocent residents of West.

    • That’s the most irritating thing. You could refuse any federal funding for West, and that wouldn’t do anything to Cruz at all.

      • Well, he and Cornyn could certainly be made to sit there (we ain’t voting on this unless you are on the floor) and listen to some lessons in how real Americans have each others backs.

        • Assumes Democratic spines not in evidence.

          • delurking

            Yeah, true, tho.

      • Cody

        I don’t think that’s true. If we just run a quick little ad in West Texas explaining why they aren’t getting Federal Aid.

        “You voted against giving us Aid. You say it was your Rep, but who elected him?”

        I don’t foresee Cruz getting re-elected.

  • Don K

    Well, to be fair, the residents of New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut are all godless heathens and probably communists, deserving of whatever happens to them, while Texans (except the black ones) are Real Americans, who deserve every penny that can be clawed out of the godless heathens.

    /snark

    • Texans (except the black ones)

      Hey! don’t forget the non-Canadian Hispanics!! not to mention the non-Hispanic representatives of the Mexican Diaspora!!!

  • Shakezula

    Who wants to bet that this fuckstain will try to insist on some sort of legislation that protects the factory from lawsuits?

    I read yesterday that plant was storing way past the legal limit (as in over 50% more, not oops I’m an ounce over) of fertilizer, limits existing one imagines because shit tends to go boom.

    I do not think it is unfair to say that this disaster was brought to you by dumbfuckish screeching about the Fedrul Gubbermint shoving Free Market strangling rules down the honest small bizness man’s throat. (It matters not if the business is in fact a huge conglomerate; these shit weasels will claim to be small business men when they’re opening their 6th factory because they think we’re stupid.)

    Therefore, the small bizness man can start selling off all of his assets to help pay for the cost of repairs. Then he can roll up his fucking sleeves and grab a shovel. I’m sure his pal Teddy will show up for a photo op or two.

  • Ken

    There’s a principle here, but it’s one most of us grow out of by age five.

    • Waaaah, gimme gimme mine mine mine!!! Is a sound Conservatarian principle you liberals can never hope understand.

    • Please. Mini__B has been voluntarily sharing his toys since he was two.

  • montag2

    Quite apart from all the other good points, Texans used to be reasonably good-natured about their belief that Texas was the sole center and focus of the universe. Now, they’re deadly serious about it. They’re remarkably insulated from the outside world.

    That’s why they can elect two morons in a row to the governorship and be completely unaffected by the derisive laughter outside the state.

    • Another Anonymous

      They ceased being amiable about it when they began realizing it wasn’t true.

  • DrDick

    These are those much vaunted conservative “Free Market”(tm) principles in action.

  • aimai

    How I wish that when Perry called Obama to ask for the aid Obama had said

    “Are you calling to secede so Texas taxpayers can take care of their ownself? Let me put you on speakerphone and I’ll just kneel down here and join you in prayer that g-d provides. I understand that this has been the kind of assistance you’ve asked for during the drought.”

    • Ha! Obama is an evil Godless liberal who would never take steps to minimize government handouts – oh wait Perry is one ours. Obama is too scared to say no.
      Nyah, Nyah!

  • Deggjr

    That’s the problem with principled conservatives, their principles only apply to others who aren’t like them. Cruz may be hoping the request will be turned down to increase resentment in his supporters but in the end he’s not the one that will be hurt if the request is turned down.

    The aid request should be granted if Perry and Cruz promise to bring the terrorists plant owners to justice.

  • Send ’em bootstraps. Lots of bootstraps.

  • Wapiti

    The Senate Democrats should actually be the ones that push this. Relief is needed (though the company should have liabilities). But they could give the bill some great name like “Texas Hypocrisy Relief Act” or “Hurricane Sandy Relief for Texas”.

    • benjoya

      nice. would that it were.

  • OmerosPeanut

    I spent a solid 10 minutes trying to come up with a clever way of mentioning “Cruz control” only to find this morning WaPo used the same joke.

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