This Week in Gun Fetish Paranoia
Obama “VIPER” Death Squads v The Second Amendment.
From the original MJ story:
Various tea party activists, libertarian websites and other conspiracy-minded Obama haters are claiming that Russian security forces have discovered that Obama is about to unleash “death squads” across America to assassinate defenders of the Second Amendment.
I knew that trusting shady Russian intelligence operatives with this information was a tenuous proposition, but nobody would listen to me.
It’s fairly common in these circles to hear of some nefarious plot against the American people uncovered by Russian intelligence. Odd how people who are the direct descendants of Birchers think the modern KGB has their interests at heart.
Russian intelligence is merely confirming what the voices in their heads already told them.
They don’t need to have their guns confiscated.
They need the fillings in their teeth, yanked, and replaced by ones that play Eezee-listenin’ Country.
Nah – make it Rap or Hip-Hop, just to annoy them.
A good dose of classic Public Enemy will do the job.
Wasn’t ‘Fear of a Black Planet’ Romney’s campaign theme song? It was the theme of the campaign, at least.
It did take a nation of millions to hold them back.
Russian intelligence fills the vaccuum where average intelligence might have resided.
With their perverse hero worship of Chris Kyle, one would think that the TSA would only need to become efficient assassins to become respected – and dare I say, loved – by these circles.
Good point. I’m glad I wasn’t the only troubled by the hero worship of a sniper. Seems a little morally gray for my tastes
Death squads for defenders of the 2nd Amendment!
Really?
Just when you think the right’s ‘stupid amp’ is as loud as it can possibly get, at 11, they bring out a new amp that goes up to 12.
I think that in some parts of the country, they need to replace the Flouride in the water, with Thorazine.
These people are feckin’ nuts.
There is no such thing as peak stupid.
I’m thinking that these same Russian security forces probably uncovered Bush and Cheney’s secret, the spontaneously generated, perfectly placed, and invisibly detonating controlled demolitions in the Twin Towers and Building 7.
Those demolitions are as real as the confidence fairy or the invisible dragon in my garage I tell ya.
I post at LGM, therefore I am
This is just like that time Jesus didn’t show up to whisk them all off to heaven isn’t it?
My hope is that once all the patriots have been wiped out, it’ll be safe to release the Whitey tape.
Don’t thesse people understand that Obama is simply exercising his Second Amendment remedy against them? After all, an armed society is a polite society, and the way the’ve treated Obama is pretty damn rude.
The Tree of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the tears of wingnuts.
VIPER Death Squads? Not quite. I have it on good authority that Obama has actually tasked C.O.B.R.A Command for this operation.
Then why is anyone worried? It’ll take years before Cobra Commander secures the leases on all of those Red Rocket franchises for the scheme to work.
Wait, I remember this episode…it’s all just a wacky misunderstanding!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyXrwbg1G7c
Does Bamz drive his own version of the Pussywagon?
Comrades! They’re on to us! Quick, back to Moscow!
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep…
Used to read a wingnut blog that alternated between “ARGH, Socialism! Worser’n the Soviets!” and “Hey, here’s the new Secret Intelligence being reported in Pravda!”
i’m guessing there’s a “donation” button, somewhere on those websites. if there isn’t there should be, be a shame to waste the opportunity to take the rube’s cash.
I WAS THERE FIRST! I’LL SUE YOU! I AM NOT A CRANK!
Just out of pure curiosity, is there just a sign-up sheet for these VIPER teams? Or is the process more formal, like filling out the Selective Service card?
First you must train with Master Pai Mei.
Or play Champions Online.
Or off-line, if that’s your thing.
You play a shitload of FPSs on XBox Live, and when “BarryBamz” sends a friend request, you fucking friend that dude. I can’t tell you what happens after that, my implants won’t let me.
so they went with the updated Last Starfighter Innuendo, nice
Dammit, Brockington! You’re a good agent, but a loose cannon!
Slightly offtopic, but right this moment the LAPD is searching for a former officer who is currently going on a shooting rampage against other officers, killing one and wounding two others. If only they had a gun on them.
The only death squads roaming around America consist of private citizens shooting innocent people.
I seem to remember that they’re called Vulture Squadrons, not VIPER Squads. Stay alert! Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!
Paranoia will destroy ya
It appears that Russian intelligence has gun manufacturers laughing all the way to the bank. It’s the uncanny axis between churches and gun manufacturers in their centuries-long fleecing of the rubes.
The latest breathless expose on Facebook today:
From someone who IS NOT A CRANK.
Wow. My right-wing cousin’s latest post was positively mild in comparison: Obama and Pelosi are going to try to do away with term limits so he can be president forever. UNLESS WE STOP THEM.
[...] own state currency. •If Russian intelligence discovered Obama’s anti-gun plot, why would it tell conservatives? •William F. Buckley was a textbook example of the bigot who sounds reasonable but [...]
Ain’t that just like Obama? Evil mastermind Obama creates a final solution to conservative opposition, and lazy cock-up Obama blows it by bragging about it to his buds in the KGB.
Ain’t that just like Obama? Evil mastermind Obama creates a final solution to conservative opposition, and lazy cock-up Obama blows it by bragging about it to his buds in the KGB.
“You know, that’s the worst thing about them? How they can be so incapable of rational thought and so bloody shrewd at the same time.” — Samuel Vimes