Ted Cruz Makes Rand Paul Look Like Henry Clay

February 12th, 2013 by Erik Loomis

Today’s hearings on Chuck Hagel just make me stand by what I said last week about Rand Paul not being one of the 3 worst senators.

Posted in General | 62 comments

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62 comments on this post.

  1. Lev @ LibraryGrape.com:

    February 12th, 2013 at 6:28 pm

    Rand Paul attempted to filibuster the PATRIOT Act renewal, and helped block SOPA/PIPA. Absolutely worthless on domestic policy, but that stuff ain’t nothing.

  2. scythia:

    February 12th, 2013 at 7:00 pm

    Worse than worthless on domestic policy, but yeah, did you read his speech to the Heritage Foundation the other day?

    http://washingtonexaminer.com/article/2520731

    That’s the sanest thing any Republican has publicly said about Iran in at least 10 years.

  3. Snarki, child of Loki:

    February 12th, 2013 at 7:09 pm

    Yeah, well Cruz and Paul have made PLENTY of speeches to radical, extremist organizations.

  4. Johnny Sack:

    February 12th, 2013 at 7:41 pm

    Really? Wow. I have respect for anyone who tries to block the PATRIOT Act, no matter how otherwise awful they might be

  5. montag2:

    February 12th, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    Oh, when it comes to rank assholes, this is very much a matter of degree, rather than kind.

    What surprises me, with only a month in office, Cruz has picked up where Joe McCarthy left off. (He even looks like a slightly younger, less dissipated version of Tailgunner Joe.)

    Kentucky, having kept McConnell in office for far, far too long, is apparently too brain-dead to notice just what an embarrassment Paul is, but, evidently, Texas has gone full-metal barking mad. The GOP leadership is going to soon realize that they should have put him in a padded office.

  6. rea:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:04 pm

    Libertarians are like stopped clocks . . .

  7. rea:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    apparently too brain-dead to notice just what an embarrassment Paul is

    Sadly (and baseball fans should be particularly sad about this) Paul is less embarrassingly batshit insane than his predecessor.

  8. Fake Irishman:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    Right. Paul can speak in complete sentences. We’ll give him that.

  9. wengler:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    I know in the end this is all about money, and these Republicans see Hagel as Obama’s hatchet man, but really this whole confirmation process has been nuts.

    Republicans are obviously crazy, but think about how terribly damaging this process has been for them. They not only criticized a former colleague of their own party, hell, their own wing of their own party, they destroyed him for day after day. They now have no purchase with him at all, even as he is going to be confirmed and is going to be face of major defense cuts.

    I know Democrats won’t really stick it to these particular people in the end, because they are Democrats, but really, what a bunch of tone-deaf dunces.

  10. Carbon Man:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    Let’s cut to the chase, we all know the big reason liberals hate Cruz.

    Why do they hate him?

    Because he’s Latino.

    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACISSSSSM!

  11. sharculese:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    What it is like to desperately need attention and validation from people you hate and fear? Is it as degrading as I imagine?

  12. thebewilderness:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    McConnell is busy with his own foreign investments.

  13. Carbon Man:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    I don’t know, I think you should as a homosexual.

  14. rea:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    This is the pancake queen Jen/Bob again, right? And no one could be so persistantly obnoxious without being either (1) paid, or (2) suffering from obsessive–compulsive disorder.

  15. Malaclypse:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    Obsessed troll is obsessed, in a way that is not at all overcompensating.

  16. sharculese:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:41 pm

    Jenny you can obsess amount my (imagined) sexuality for as long as you want and I’m still not going to fuck you.

  17. MAJeff:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    Aww, no morning after pancakes.

  18. Malaclypse:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    What Jennie does with syrup is best left unimagined.

  19. Carbon Man:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    Seriously, the whole “gay marriage” movement is nothing but queers and their narcissism–seeking recognition from a society where most people despise them.

    Narcissism and homosexuality, of course, go together like carrots and peas.

  20. Carbon Man:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    Well, maybe you’d like to fuck one Thomas Rogers.

    I remember the exact moment I realized it was time to leave the sex party and go home. It was 7:30 in the morning, and I was standing in front of a bunch of cots filled with piles of naked men. A man dressed in a leather jacket emblazoned with the words “human urinal” was next to me, a funnel strapped to his face. And as I stood there contemplating the circumstances that had led me to this place, a man wearing nothing but a harness and underwear staggered down the hallway and accidentally pressed up against me. “Oh my God!” he exclaimed to his friend, as his wet skin rubbed up against my arm. “Some guy must have pissed ALL OVER my shoulder!”

    I had spent the last six hours at the Black Party, a giant gay event that takes place every year at Roseland Ballroom in Manhattan. Every March, thousands of shirtless men cram into the large concert venue in midtown to dance to world-famous house DJs, do lots of drugs and, once 3 a.m. rolls around, have public sex in various parts of the building. For three decades, the party has been a raunchy high point of the gay calendar in New York, and a throwback to the most hedonistic aspects of pre-AIDS gay culture. (This year’s party will take place on Saturday, March 19.)

    I had come here to confirm several of my long-cherished beliefs about sex and gayness: that sex in all of its forms was awesome, that gay men’s permissive attitudes toward it were much saner than the straight community’s, and that events like this one were a healthy celebration of the most transgressive elements of gay life that had preceded me. But as the night progressed, my attitude went from excitement to discomfort to utter revulsion — and I began to wonder, did I even belong here?

  21. sharculese:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    At this point it’s more like them seeking recognition from a society that’s coming around to the idea that weirdgross obsessions with other people’s sexuality are weird and gross, but tomato, tomahto.

  22. Erik Loomis:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    When Cruz won the nomination, I was excited/depressed to be able to talk about his utter insanity for at least the next 6 years. He’s an all-time special guy.

  23. sharculese:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    If there’s someone out there who’s paying for Jenny’s unhinged rants about gay sex I’m pretty happy to separate them for their money.

  24. Malaclypse:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    a society where most people despise them

    Jennie, just because your daddy despised gay people, that doesn’t mean most people agree. We love you just the way God made you.

  25. Malaclypse:

    February 12th, 2013 at 8:58 pm

    You seem to think about this a lot. In a totally non-overcompensating way, of course.

  26. Jeremy:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    You hang on to them forever with some sort of vague intention of working up the motivation to taking them to a repair shop, but you never do, because like everyone else these days, you’ve got a phone that you use to for the same purpose?

  27. wjts:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    You are a veritable font of information about gay and lesbian orgies, I’ll give you that.

  28. efgoldman:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    Today is shrove Tuesday. mrs efgoldman just got back from a pancake supper. Would anybody else like some?

  29. efgoldman:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    We love you just the way God made you.

    Speak for yourself. I’m old enough to (a) not believe in god and (b) despise anybody I want to.
    With pancakes.

  30. efgoldman:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    Narcissism and homosexuality, of course, go together like carrots and peas.

    Or pancakes and syrup.

  31. rea:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:09 pm

    Although he seems completely unaware that straight people have orgies, too, at which they behave in much the same way, albeit with a bit more PIV . . .

  32. herr doktor bimler:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    Linkman’s Voice Mr A tells us what actually goes on at these mouse parties.

    Cut to Mr A.

    Mr A (JOHN) Well first of all you get shown to your own private hole in the skirting board… then you put the mouse skin on… then you scurry into the main room, and perhaps take a run in the wheel.

    Linkman The remainder of this film was taken secretly at one of these mouse parties by a BBC cameraman posing as a vole. As usual we apologize for the poor quality of the film.

    Very poor quality film, shadowy shapes, the odd mouse glimpsed.

    Mr A’s Voice Well, er, then you steal some cheese, Brie or Camembert, or Cheddar or Gouda, if you’re on the harder stuff. You might go and see one of the blue cheese films… there’s a big clock in the middle of the room, and about 12.50 you climb up it and then… eventually, it strikes one… and you all run down.

  33. Mr Sadpants:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    I HAVE BEEN SAVING THIS LINK AND QUOTE FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS, WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT TO SHARE IT WITH MY FRIENDS. YOU GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS RIGHT?

  34. BigHank53:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:29 pm

    Somehow, I always knew there was a job, somewhere in the world, that would make giving blowjobs to strangers for $20 look reasonable and respectable.

    If he’s doing it for free….well, some kind of disorder. Obviously.

  35. Reilly:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:49 pm

    It was all a sad, innocent misfortune. He/she meant to google “humans in the urals” but mistyped it “the human urinals.” Shock turned to titillation, titillation to obsession — a slow spiral down the drain.

  36. Lector Peregrinus:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    I’m used to the particular brand of bullshit Cruz spews from hearing it for years from the Cuban half of my family.

  37. expatchad:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:54 pm

    Yes, he will be a continually giving gift!

  38. expatchad:

    February 12th, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    Wouldn’t be an amazing day for jubilation if Dems suddenly got balls?

  39. expatchad:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    And/or we got an edit function here…

  40. expatchad:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:02 pm

    You cannot feel degraded if you have no self-awareness.

  41. expatchad:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:03 pm

    We have plenty right now, thanks, as the vendor is here again.

  42. expatchad:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    Ohmygawd. Now you’ve done it. Please be careful, I’ll be disturbed for hours.

  43. DrDick:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:11 pm

    The projection is strong in you, grasshopper.

  44. expatchad:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:11 pm

    Nowhere near as disturbed as Carbonado (a defunct coal mining town in in Washington, the gay marriage state) but disturbed enough.

  45. DrDick:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:13 pm

    He thinks about gay sex more than any openly gay man I have ever known. Can somebody please tell him where he can find a rent boy and just get it over with?

  46. MAJeff:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    Why would you wish that on a rentboy? Maybe Ratzinger is available; he’ll have some extra time on his hands now.

  47. The Dark Avenger:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    He thinks about gay sex more than any openly gay man watching a gay porno on the internet.

  48. LosGatosCA:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    He’s just a bit confused.

    And resentful.

  49. The Dark Avenger:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    You think Jen-Bob has anything but a theoretical understanding of how PIV sex takes place?

  50. Joe:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    At Volokh Conspiracy, so far two contributors provided open letters addressed not to the subcommittee involved or the chairman AND subchairman but solely to Sen. Cruz. The slanted gun stance taken makes this pretty appropriate.

  51. Joe:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:34 pm

    Lest people be upset, don’t worry, he still thinks Paul is mostly an offensive hack, but now and again he says something sane and/or others are WORSE such as Cruz being one of three not voting for Kerry in part since apparently he is anti-military.

  52. cpinva:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:52 pm

    and i have absolutely zero sympathy for his constituents, over 50% of whom voted for him. it is my hope that his state rots in its own corruptive cesspool, and federal funds are cut to the absolute, bare minimum bone. leave the place as much of a physically dissipated wreck, as it is an intellectual one.

  53. cpinva:

    February 12th, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    i’m guessing he won’t respect him in the morning, so yeah, pancakes are probably out of the question.

  54. DrDick:

    February 12th, 2013 at 11:07 pm

    Why would you wish that on a rentboy?

    I actually wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but he really needs to get laid. That ain’t happening unless he pays (a lot) for it.

  55. MAJeff:

    February 12th, 2013 at 11:11 pm

    There’s always Dagchester.

  56. Johnny Sack:

    February 12th, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    I dunno, I like that Penn and Teller Bullshit show when they talk about the war on drugs and all that jazz-not so much the anti-minimum wage and global warming is a hoax stuff.

  57. Lev:

    February 12th, 2013 at 11:53 pm

    Still more impressive than Rubio (high bar!). Cruz is mostly self-made, Rubio would be the night manager of a Denny’s had he not made friends with Jeb Bush. He has that kind of mind.

  58. expatchad:

    February 13th, 2013 at 3:54 am

    Shall we tell him to shrove it?

  59. NonyNony:

    February 13th, 2013 at 8:37 am

    You missed (3) – pathetically sad. So, so pathetically sad.

    I think Jenbob just needs a hug and someone to tell him/her that it’s all going to be okay.

  60. RhZ:

    February 13th, 2013 at 9:37 am

    Yeah but look at what policy positions they actually take action on. You see the drug war in there? I never have.

  61. DrDick:

    February 13th, 2013 at 9:54 am

    I am not sure JenBob even has personal familiarity with PIH.

  62. Njorl:

    February 13th, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    Exactly.

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