Home / General / Because nobody has any other reason to read.

Because nobody has any other reason to read.


LITTLE KID comes to SEK’s door to retrieve the basketball he launched onto SEK’s porch.

LITTLE KID: Hi. My basketball landed on your—WOW. You have so many books!

SEK: I know, I’m a tea—


SEK: Why else would I have so many books?


SEK: Let me get you your—


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  • Murc

    So if we throw you in water, that means you’ll float, right?

    • Roadtoad

      Well, that might be problematic. If he’s lighter than a duck, he’s hosed. (It’s a fair court.)

      (He turned me into a newt. Of course, I got better…)

  • thebewilderness

    Kinda makes the whole thing worthwhile, dunnit?

    • SEK

      Not really. Though maybe now they’ll stop launching things onto my porch.

      • Bill Murray

        being a wizzard means you can make those things disappear

  • Mister Harvest


  • SP

    Is this the same kid who yelled I’m Lebron or whatever it is that kids tell these days?

    • SEK

      No, this wasn’t “RAY ALLEN!”

  • Jim Lynch

    “There” [points to SEK].

    “You sure”?

    “Yeah, man, I’m sure. That’s him”.

    “That’s the fucker who stole your ball and claimed to be a wizard”?

    “Yeah, man, I’m telling you, that’s him”.

    “OK, then. Let’s fuck him up. We ain’t no little kids no more”.

    • SEK

      Hey, no spoilers!

  • Peter Hovde

    Little did he know you’re just a squib.

  • Jewish Steel

    Are you pitching an update on The Once And Future King?

    Because I’m listening.

    • herr doktor bimler

      It was probably the owl perched on his shoulder that gave the whole show away. That, or the corkadill suspended from the rafters.
      Or the cloak embroidered all over with cabalistic symbols.

  • ironic irony

    I took this as kind of adorable.

    But maybe I shouldn’t have…..


  • IM

    Only reasonable. Wizarding schools and universities are the only places depicting as having lot of books in todays media. And if you would have said you worked at a university, he would just have assumed Hogwarts or UU or the school of Roke.

    Probably he has just seen the Hobbit – although I don’t remember any books there.

    • rea

      Although Gandalf does some heavy reading in the big library at Gondor in LOTR

    • Njorl

      What they don’t tell you, though, is that less than half of graduating wizards get jobs doing actual magic.

      • rea

        They actually do, though–we know canonically that there are 5 wizards, we see three in the books (Saruman, Gandalf and Radaghast) and Radaghast doesn’t actually do any magic . . . so, less than 50%.

        • Jon H

          Gandalf double-dips though, coming back after the Balrog and all, when his job could have gone to a young underemployed wizard.

      • xaaronx

        And that’s counting hedge wizards setting up in private practice themselves.

  • Uncle Kvetch

    There has to be a twist.

    • Ken

      An angry mob with pitchforks and torches.

      Or the modern equivalent, a visit by the police after “concerned” parents call them about the guy who’s telling the kids he’s a wizard. Goes without saying, but never let any of them further into your home than the porch.

      • LeeEsq

        Nah, this would have happend during the D&D scare in the early and mid-1980s but not now.

        • Njorl

          Nerds today have it easy.

    • Jewish Steel

      Is SEK a mod or a rocker?

      • SEK

        He votes “neither.”

        • Bill Murray

          ho about a combination — mocker!

  • Crackity Jones

    Wow another substantive SEK post.

    • SEK

      I bet people enjoyed the five seconds it took to read my post more than they did the two seconds it took to read your comment, though. In short, VICTORY FOR SEK.

  • Halloween Jack
  • Pingback: … and yet in another sense are we not all radagast the brown? | hashtag tashlan()

  • Uncle Ebeneezer

    Have you considered building a fence?

    This story made me think of this.

  • It would explain a lot, you must admit.

  • Barry Freed

    SEK: “I know, I’m a tea—…pot, short and stout.”

    • SEK

      Hey! I’m tall and lanky. Wait, is that any better? Crap…

  • osceola

    Reminds me of a joke by the last great Bill Hicks:

    Waitress: “What are you readin’ for?”
    Hicks: “What am I reading FOR? I’m reading so I don’t end up working in a diner at 3 a.m.”

    • SEK

      Sadly, the more reading you do now, the more likely you are to end up working in a diner at 3 a.m.

      • Barry Freed

        You can get a lot of reading done working at a diner at 3 a.m.

    • Warren Terra

      Not a joke to make before you get your food.

  • My grad students in Translation are doing a project translating an anthology of Chinese children’s poems into English:

    Teacher, you are a wizard

    Were I a falling cloud
    You are the goose that lifts me up
    Were I a fish out of school
    You are the wave that pushes back
    Were I a delicate bud
    You are the leaf that holds me up
    Were I the grass in winter
    You are the gorgeous spring awakening me

    A little blackboard
    Depicts colorful scenes
    A tiny chalk
    Shows ten thousand things
    Eraser move round and round
    Disperse the mist that covers our dream
    Makes them bright and clear

    Truly an amazing magician-oh
    Cast your spell on our wonderful childhood

    Teaching at a Chinese University I have high wages*, paid insurance, subsidized housing, paid vacation and support and recognition from the government, the university administration, and the parents. And I really feel the love from my students.

    *With the exchange rate – maybe not so great, but high for China.

    • SEK

      You are making me feel very sad.

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