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Because nobody has any other reason to read.

[ 43 ] January 13, 2013 |

LITTLE KID comes to SEK’s door to retrieve the basketball he launched onto SEK’s porch.

LITTLE KID: Hi. My basketball landed on your—WOW. You have so many books!

SEK: I know, I’m a tea—

LITTLE KID: ARE YOU A WIZARD?

SEK: Why else would I have so many books?

LITTLE KID: (turning around) MOM HE’S A WIZARD! I MET A WIZARD!

SEK: Let me get you your—

LITTLE KID: WIIIIIIZZZZZZAAAAAARRRRRRDDDDDD!

Comments (43)

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  1. Murc says:

    So if we throw you in water, that means you’ll float, right?

    • Roadtoad says:

      Well, that might be problematic. If he’s lighter than a duck, he’s hosed. (It’s a fair court.)

      (He turned me into a newt. Of course, I got better…)

  2. thebewilderness says:

    Kinda makes the whole thing worthwhile, dunnit?

  3. Mister Harvest says:

    Awesome.

  4. SP says:

    Is this the same kid who yelled I’m Lebron or whatever it is that kids tell these days?

  5. Jim Lynch says:

    “There” [points to SEK].

    “You sure”?

    “Yeah, man, I’m sure. That’s him”.

    “That’s the fucker who stole your ball and claimed to be a wizard”?

    “Yeah, man, I’m telling you, that’s him”.

    “OK, then. Let’s fuck him up. We ain’t no little kids no more”.

  6. Peter Hovde says:

    Little did he know you’re just a squib.

  7. Jewish Steel says:

    Are you pitching an update on The Once And Future King?

    Because I’m listening.

    • herr doktor bimler says:

      It was probably the owl perched on his shoulder that gave the whole show away. That, or the corkadill suspended from the rafters.
      Or the cloak embroidered all over with cabalistic symbols.

  8. ironic irony says:

    I took this as kind of adorable.

    But maybe I shouldn’t have…..

  9. GeoX says:

    YOU’RE A TEA PARTIER?!?

  10. IM says:

    Only reasonable. Wizarding schools and universities are the only places depicting as having lot of books in todays media. And if you would have said you worked at a university, he would just have assumed Hogwarts or UU or the school of Roke.

    Probably he has just seen the Hobbit – although I don’t remember any books there.

  11. Uncle Kvetch says:

    There has to be a twist.

  12. Crackity Jones says:

    Wow another substantive SEK post.

    • SEK says:

      I bet people enjoyed the five seconds it took to read my post more than they did the two seconds it took to read your comment, though. In short, VICTORY FOR SEK.

  13. Uncle Ebeneezer says:

    Have you considered building a fence?

    This story made me think of this.

  14. Nick says:

    It would explain a lot, you must admit.

  15. Barry Freed says:

    SEK: “I know, I’m a tea—…pot, short and stout.”

  16. osceola says:

    Reminds me of a joke by the last great Bill Hicks:

    Waitress: “What are you readin’ for?”
    Hicks: “What am I reading FOR? I’m reading so I don’t end up working in a diner at 3 a.m.”

  17. Brian O'C says:

    My grad students in Translation are doing a project translating an anthology of Chinese children’s poems into English:

    Teacher, you are a wizard

    Were I a falling cloud
    You are the goose that lifts me up
    Were I a fish out of school
    You are the wave that pushes back
    Were I a delicate bud
    You are the leaf that holds me up
    Were I the grass in winter
    You are the gorgeous spring awakening me

    A little blackboard
    Depicts colorful scenes
    A tiny chalk
    Shows ten thousand things
    Eraser move round and round
    Disperse the mist that covers our dream
    Makes them bright and clear

    Teacher
    Truly an amazing magician-oh
    Cast your spell on our wonderful childhood

    Teaching at a Chinese University I have high wages*, paid insurance, subsidized housing, paid vacation and support and recognition from the government, the university administration, and the parents. And I really feel the love from my students.

    *With the exchange rate – maybe not so great, but high for China.

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