The Horror Continues

Clearly, the problem is that not every American firefighter is armed, preferably with another armed guard for when they’re actually firefighting. We can pay through all of this with minor reductions in the foreign aid outlays that constitute 95% of federal expenditures.

120 comments on this post.
  1. Dana Houle:

    Guns don’t kill people, house fires armed with guns kill people.

    Other houses in the neighborhood say the house was a loner…

  2. David Hunt:

    Yeah, because there’s nothing safer than taking live ammunition into a burning building….

  3. Murc:

    I live with a close enough vantage point to this to see the smoke if I climb up on my roof with my binoculars.

    What the hell happened the last week? I mean, what’s next? Is someone going to storm a police station Terminator style? Because that’s the logical goddamn progression!

  4. The NRA PR Machine:

    “He causes his sun to rise upon the good and the bad, and he causes it to rain upon the just and the unjust.” We can only prepare for the worst when we are visited by such acts of God. But maybe if those commie queers in Hollywood changed their ways God wouldn’t be so angry!

  5. bob_is_boring:

    Clearly the only solution is to have armed police in every home in the nation (paid for by mysterious “cuts to foreign [non-Israeli] aid.”

    Or, if that fails, armed police on every point on a 3 foot-by-3 foot-grid across the entire nation.

    What’s that you say? No, sily! All of the authoritarian fascists are on the left. Ross Douthat said so.

  6. somethingblue:

    … the foreign aid outlays that constitute 95% of federal expenditures.

    This is one-sided. A truly balanced plan would also propose cuts to the other 5%, which goes to waste, fraud and abuse.

  7. rea:

    Of course, any real solution to gun violence will involve tax cuts for millionaires.

  8. Malaclypse:

    In the interests of bipartisanship, it should also incorporate social security cuts, as well as a commitment to increased funding for missile defense.

  9. Hogan:

    Yeah, it kept to itself. But its lawn always looked nice.

  10. DrDick:

    I would just like to repeat that John Stuart Mill was far too generous.

  11. Tnap01:

    Can anyone think of a video game that doesn’t involve guns or perhaps an 80′s movie from John Hughes that LaPierre can blame this on?

  12. Matt McKeon:

    Armed guards at every firehouse and to go on every call. There was a shooting at a PA church(IIRC) even while LaPierre was speaking. Maybe armed guards at every church.

    The logical end to this insanity is the nation forming a gigantic circle, all pointing guns at each other.

  13. c u n d gulag:

    When will firefighters ever learn, that in today’s America, before you start fighting the fire, you need to establish a solid perimeter, and set up some picket’s?

  14. Malaclypse:


  15. Light Rail Tycoon:

    Wait, I thought firefighters were trained for firefights?

  16. N__B:

    A. Infinity Blade.

    B. Pretty in Pink is enough to make me go on a metaphorical killing spree.

  17. Scott Lemieux:

    I blame License to Drive.

  18. N__B:

    That was more flip than I intended, given that volunteer firefighters – people who perform the definition of good works – are dead. To quote my grandfather, after cracking jokes about the pogrom he witnessed, what should I do, cry?

  19. ema:

    I’m waiting for someone to shoot up a nursing home and/or NICU.

  20. Brien Jackson:

    I suppose it’s appropriate to tell Wayne LaPierrre to die in a fire today?

  21. Tom J.:

    Your clear advocacy of murder is offensive, sir!

    Only conservatives are allowed to use metaphors that involve the deaths of “libruls” and “socialists.”

  22. zombie rotten mcdonald:

    Clearly the only solution is to have armed police in every home in the nation (paid for by mysterious “cuts to foreign [non-Israeli] aid.”

    You think you mock, but if you swap ‘armed police’ with ‘NRA-trained volunteers’ you pretty much hit the NRA’s stance directly on target.

  23. zombie rotten mcdonald:

    I blame Pong. Everything has gone right to hell since then.

  24. zombie rotten mcdonald:

    Slow clap.

  25. zombie rotten mcdonald:

    I can’t WAIT to see what kind of bells-to-the-wall massacree some guntard loon has planned for Christmas Day.

  26. zombie rotten mcdonald:

    well, they were just asking for it with their union and healthcare and pensions and all.

  27. zombie rotten mcdonald:

    ooops, “volunteer”. Ignore that previous.

    zombie is not reading for comprehension today.

  28. Scott Lemieux:

    Everybody’s favorite neoconfederate has a lengthy post today based on the premise that if someone has ever said “fuck” in the past they can’t possibly be using metaphor.

  29. Brien Jackson:

    Well son of a bitch, I’m fucked.

  30. Malaclypse:

    Well fuck him like a walrus.

  31. Anticorium:

    A Mexican self-deported standoff.

  32. Pestilence:

    less eating words, more eating brains, zomb

  33. Pestilence:

  34. Ronnie Pudding:

    The Webster shooter had served time in jail for killing his blind grandmother with a hammer.

  35. Brandon C.:

    I blame Viva Pinata. All those cute colorful animals would drive anyone into a murderous rage.

  36. Brandon C.:

    Now thats fucked.

  37. Anonymous:

    lunar lander, but hey I’m old.

  38. Taj Mahalo:

    Everything’s gone straight to hell since Sinatra played Juarez.

  39. The Dark Avenger:


  40. The Dark Avenger:

    Definitely a +1

  41. rea:

    Rome: Total War?

  42. Gepap:

    Well, it would have been kind of hard for him to have killed the two firefighters the same way he was able to kill a blind 92 year old woman. Thankfully the second amendment gave him the opportunity to go out with a bang….

  43. Tnap01:

    At first I read Viva Pinata as Vada Pinson which would open a whole new dimension of blame deflection!

  44. bob_is_boring:

    I was just trying to extend the principle to its logical conclusion. Any similarity to mocking is purely coincidental.

  45. JoyfulA:

    Yes, a man shot and killed a woman decorating a church hall for a children’s Christmas party, after which he killed two men on a country road near the village of Geeseytown (Altoona area)and then shot it out with police. Four dead: A man with guns worrying about End Times and the Mayan calendar.

  46. Eli Rabett:

    Kar Killers

  47. Warren Terra:

    Didn’t someone shoot up an ICU (not a NICU) the same day as Sandy Hook?

  48. Davis X. Machina:

    I didn’t see that film. Good idea for a biopic, but odd casting

  49. Warren Terra:

    I blame Adventure. Though SEK may not agree.

  50. Warren Terra:

    It’s obvious that 300 million civilian-owned handguns, rifles, and shotguns has not sufficed to end this problem. I therefore stand by my now consistently held position that the answer must be hand grenades. If each firefighter was charging into blazing fires with a bandolier of hand grenades, this never would have happened.

    Also: this just proves the old maxim: a firefighter should never bring a fire axe to a firefight.

  51. Bitter Scribe:

    One of the victims was also a cop, IIRC.

    Too bad he wasn’t a janitor who could have heaved a bucket at the shooter’s knees, per Charlotte Allen.

  52. efgoldman:

    When my dad was a kid, 1920s and early 30s, it was penny dreadfuls and Cap’n Billy’s Whiz Bang that was the ruination of our you’t. In the 30s it was Jimmy Cagney and Edward G. Robinson. After WW2 it was was film noir. When I was in gradeschool, I was going to hell in a handbasket because I read comic books. Early 60s? Elvis, than rock and roll generally. Late 60s? Oooh, the music, and the hippies; mygawd, the hippies! Then TV (always TV), and movies again, and (be afraid! be very afraid!) video games! The horror.
    Funny how all these big-talking conservatives are afraid of their own fucking shadows. Anyone seen a librul shooter lately?

  53. Warren Terra:

    Seventeen years doesn’t necessarily sound like a crazily lenient sentence for murder, though one might quibble, especially since at 30 he was old enough to know better and young enough that he’d get out while still fit. And for damn sure he didn’t get the mental health treatment he needed during that time – but how is beating your 92-year-old grandmother to death with a hammer “manslaughter”?

  54. Warren Terra:

    Fuck him, I say.

  55. Phoenix Rising:

    That implies he didn’t actually ride in on a literal horse.

  56. sparks:

    He did it to the tune “If I Had A Hammer”?

  57. Bexley:

    McMegan wants to know why there wasn’t a small horde of children charging the shooter.

  58. sparks:

    They need to bring back the bucket brigade.

  59. Uncle Ebeneezer:

    Dig Dug

  60. Paul Campos:

    If the prosecutor had gone to a more expensive and therefore better law school, the killer would still be in jail.

  61. DrDick:

    You have obviously played it.

  62. DrDick:

    Well, I am fucking well and truly fucked now.

  63. Ronnie Pudding:

    Old newspaper article gives some detail. No prior record and DA happy with 17 years. 25 was the max.

  64. Speak Truth:

    The shooter went to prison for killing his mother with a hammer.

    Clearly, hammers should be regulated and it could be done except for the NHA which believes every American has the right to keep and bear hammers.

  65. Speak Truth:

    Yeah, gives the detail that plea bargaining allows murderers to get off with a manslaughter charge.

    Anyone who beats an old lady to death with a hammer, especially one’s own mother, is guilty of murder and should absolutely get be put to death.

    Hands down.

    Maybe some of the crazies like this guy wouldn’t be around if the liberal whiners would get on board with getting rid of those who have demonstrated that they are cold blooded killers.

    Thanks liberals…thanks for nothin’.

  66. Speak Truth:

    In the interest of “fairness”, its important to remember that crazy people who beat their mothers to death with hammers are just people and they deserve a second chance in society.

    The APA will tell you that it was the right thing to do to mainstream the crazies. We all deserve a second chance to kill again, don’t we?

  67. somethingblue:

    I like the new troll persona. It has a kind of gritty, Eastwoodish character to it. More like this, please!

    Just a couple of comments:

    1. “one’s own mother” seems like a false step to me. How about “the guy’s own mother”? Or even “the perp’s own mother”?

    2. “should absolutely get be put to death.” Clearly you were going for “get the chair,” and then realized that it’s mostly lethal injection these days. Don’t second-guess yourself like this! The first thought is often the best one.

    A B+ for this overall, but I see a lot of potential here.

  68. Warren Terra:

    Since you’ve taken it upon yourself to do the grading ( which I suspect you will come to regret): does the troll lose points or gain points for factual inaccuracy (the shooter was imprisoned for murdering his grandmother, not his mother, which was already clear in this thread)? I can see it going either way …

  69. Malaclypse:

    Factual accuracy has a liberal bias.

  70. Sharon:

    Can I order pancakes now?

  71. Speak Truth:

    Enjoy your pancakes. Need more syrup?

  72. Mike L.:

    Guns and hammers are clearly analogous. After all, both can be used in household repairs.


  73. Speak Truth:

    Guns and hammers are clearly analogous. After all, both can be used in household repairs for good and evil.

    Corrected that for ya’

  74. Malaclypse:

    Subtext again becoming text, Jennie dearest. That is one hell of a dumbprint.

  75. somethingblue:

    No, that just adds to the hard-boiled vibe. She was his mother his grandmother his mother …

  76. Oldmtnbkr:

    Choplifter. Lode Runner.

  77. Malaclypse:

    I think we can agree – she was female, and therefore beneath Jennie’s ability to distinguish individuality. Bitchez be bitchez.

  78. Major Kong:

    Can they be used to make pancakes?

  79. John Protevi:

    Maybe it’s own of those Faye Dunaway in Chinatown things? Mother AND grandmother?

  80. Leeds man:

    Clearly, hammers should be regulated

    If one could kill 20 children in a few minutes, yes. Must be hard for you going through life stupid and sociopathic.

  81. Leeds man:

    Mother and sister.

  82. Jay C:

    Really? I don’t fucking believe it!!

  83. John Protevi:

    I know, I was just taking some poetic license.

  84. Erik Loomis:

    These people are pathetic losers.

  85. Leeds man:

    You need a license for that now? Baaastids!

  86. bob_is_boring:

    GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I wish you people would not feed your trolls.

  87. Jeremy:

    And Outhouse is wondering whether any of the victims might have been accomplices. Just asking questions, of course.

  88. sharculese:

    Maybe some of the crazies like this guy wouldn’t be around if the liberal whiners would get on board with getting rid of those who have demonstrated that they are cold blooded killers.

    You mean the type of crazies who throw a pissy tantrum about the tyranny of the state right up until the state promises to satisfy their lust for blood, at which point the adopt an erection visible from fucking space?

    No, those crazies tend to be sanctimonious nitwits who think consequences are for other people.

  89. sharculese:

    fucking block quotes

  90. Vance Maverick:

    Anyone seen a librul shooter lately?

    Patty Hearst, am I right? Or that hippie with the bandage across his nose in Dirty Harry.

  91. DocAmazing:


  92. DocAmazing:

    You do realize that the great release of patients from mental hospitals was under Reagan, first as California governor, and then as president, don’t you?

  93. Timb:

    Clearly it is not. He learned it from Goldstein. Never has there been a more disingenuous group of nihilistic wingnuts

  94. Timb:

    Ha. Shows you. My favorite neo-Confederate is Thomas DiLorenzo

  95. The prophet Nostradumbass:

    Dunno, I think Zork may have been the tipping point.

  96. The prophet Nostradumbass:

    Actually, I think everything went to Hell with Marie Osmond’s divorce, or so the Bloom Picayune told me.

  97. The prophet Nostradumbass:

    He has presumably forgotten when he was released.

  98. Speak Truth:

    You’re a teaser, you turn ‘em on
    Leave them burning and then you’re gone
    Looking out for another, anyone will do

  99. Speak Truth:

    You do realize that the great release of patients from mental hospitals was under Reagan, first as California governor, and then as president, don’t you?

    Crazies are doing crazy things. I want to see them profiled and, if truly crazy, off the streets.

    Again, you wish to make this my side/your side instead of discussing the issues. I’m not here to protect anyone or make points.

    Apparently, you are. Try speaking some truth for a change.

  100. Speak Truth:


    They can also be used to beat in your brains.

    Merry Christmas

  101. speak truth's mom's pancake fumes:

    how many did you kill on your first chance?

  102. owlbear1:

    Your impersonation of a kitchen table is flawless.

  103. GFW:

    How do they work?

  104. speak truth's mom's pancake fumes:

    aren’t we lucky that this particular typical conservative did not have a device to hurl hammers at rapid speed from a distance!

  105. guthrie:

    Yup, that book, for all its faults, is relevant here. Should I summarise the relevant point here?

  106. Eli Rabett:

    Community organizations are communist or at least socialist? There!

  107. Eli Rabett:

    Painful, don’t do it.

  108. John Protevi:

    You need a license for that now? Baaastids!

    Actually, now that I think of it, JenBob is slyly alluding to Sophocles, as Iocasta is both mother and grandmother to Antigone and Polynices.

  109. Leeds man:

    if truly crazy, off the streets.

    Maybe put them in some kind of camp, where they can be concentrated. Make them wear armbands. Sterilize them! Funny no-one thought of that before.

  110. John Protevi:

    The armband could have some sort of symbol on it. Something simple, perhaps only three sides. The color should be sombre, since no one is happy about this.

  111. Speak Truth:

    Maybe put them in some kind of camp, where they can be concentrated.

    It’s called a mental hospital.

    Or, we could give them some hammers and ask them to deliver a package to your Mom.

  112. Dana Houle:

    Gleefully pushing monstrous and absurd beliefs without revealing whether they’re based in mendacity or in willful and staggering ignorance is one of the more disconcerting human behaviors.

  113. Timb:

    I already delivered a package to her….she said it was the first time she had been with a non-mental defective (your dad and then you).

    She then served me pancakes, but she used margarine rather than butter. I will not be back, since unlike your mom I have standards

  114. Speak Truth:

    And yours

  115. Speak Truth:


    Prosecutors are there to make a deal. Any deal that will keep the case from going to trial and won’t totally enrage the community.
    The system of plea bargaining is inherently evil. It allows the guilty to get off with a lesser charge and pressures the innocent to admit to crimes they didn’t commit…all for the convenience of the government.
    Being part of that system is not something to be proud of, Paul.

  116. Speak Truth:

    Say “hi” to your Mom for me.

  117. Malaclypse:

    For unto us a Child Troll is born, unto us a Son Moron is given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder a muslim socialist tyrant: and His name shall be called Wonderful Jennifer Steele, Counsellor Bob, the mighty God Wurlitzer, the everlasting Father Whiner, the Prince of Peace Dumb.

  118. DrDick:

    You malign kitchen tables, which have far higher IQs.

  119. DrDick:

    Well, not in your case, as you have to have some brains for that to happen.

  120. JKTHs:

    What ever happened to raising taxes on the 47%?

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