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The Horror Continues

[ 120 ] December 24, 2012 |

Clearly, the problem is that not every American firefighter is armed, preferably with another armed guard for when they’re actually firefighting. We can pay through all of this with minor reductions in the foreign aid outlays that constitute 95% of federal expenditures.

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  • Guns don’t kill people, house fires armed with guns kill people.

    Other houses in the neighborhood say the house was a loner…

    • Hogan

      Yeah, it kept to itself. But its lawn always looked nice.

      • Speak Truth

        The shooter went to prison for killing his mother with a hammer.

        Clearly, hammers should be regulated and it could be done except for the NHA which believes every American has the right to keep and bear hammers.

        • Mike L.

          Guns and hammers are clearly analogous. After all, both can be used in household repairs.

          Wait…

          • Speak Truth

            Guns and hammers are clearly analogous. After all, both can be used in household repairs for good and evil.

            Corrected that for ya’

            • Can they be used to make pancakes?

              • Speak Truth

                Yes

                They can also be used to beat in your brains.

                Merry Christmas

                • Gleefully pushing monstrous and absurd beliefs without revealing whether they’re based in mendacity or in willful and staggering ignorance is one of the more disconcerting human behaviors.

                • Speak Truth

                  And yours

                • DrDick

                  Well, not in your case, as you have to have some brains for that to happen.

            • speak truth’s mom’s pancake fumes

              aren’t we lucky that this particular typical conservative did not have a device to hurl hammers at rapid speed from a distance!

        • Leeds man

          Clearly, hammers should be regulated

          If one could kill 20 children in a few minutes, yes. Must be hard for you going through life stupid and sociopathic.

          • Timb

            Clearly it is not. He learned it from Goldstein. Never has there been a more disingenuous group of nihilistic wingnuts

  • David Hunt

    Yeah, because there’s nothing safer than taking live ammunition into a burning building….

  • Murc

    I live with a close enough vantage point to this to see the smoke if I climb up on my roof with my binoculars.

    What the hell happened the last week? I mean, what’s next? Is someone going to storm a police station Terminator style? Because that’s the logical goddamn progression!

    • ema

      I’m waiting for someone to shoot up a nursing home and/or NICU.

      • Warren Terra

        Didn’t someone shoot up an ICU (not a NICU) the same day as Sandy Hook?

  • The NRA PR Machine

    “He causes his sun to rise upon the good and the bad, and he causes it to rain upon the just and the unjust.” We can only prepare for the worst when we are visited by such acts of God. But maybe if those commie queers in Hollywood changed their ways God wouldn’t be so angry!

  • Clearly the only solution is to have armed police in every home in the nation (paid for by mysterious “cuts to foreign [non-Israeli] aid.”

    Or, if that fails, armed police on every point on a 3 foot-by-3 foot-grid across the entire nation.

    What’s that you say? No, sily! All of the authoritarian fascists are on the left. Ross Douthat said so.

    • Clearly the only solution is to have armed police in every home in the nation (paid for by mysterious “cuts to foreign [non-Israeli] aid.”

      You think you mock, but if you swap ‘armed police’ with ‘NRA-trained volunteers’ you pretty much hit the NRA’s stance directly on target.

      • I was just trying to extend the principle to its logical conclusion. Any similarity to mocking is purely coincidental.

  • somethingblue

    … the foreign aid outlays that constitute 95% of federal expenditures.

    This is one-sided. A truly balanced plan would also propose cuts to the other 5%, which goes to waste, fraud and abuse.

    • rea

      Of course, any real solution to gun violence will involve tax cuts for millionaires.

      • Malaclypse

        In the interests of bipartisanship, it should also incorporate social security cuts, as well as a commitment to increased funding for missile defense.

        • JKTHs

          What ever happened to raising taxes on the 47%?

  • DrDick

    I would just like to repeat that John Stuart Mill was far too generous.

  • Tnap01

    Can anyone think of a video game that doesn’t involve guns or perhaps an 80’s movie from John Hughes that LaPierre can blame this on?

    • Malaclypse
      • Anonymous

        lunar lander, but hey I’m old.

      • rea

        Rome: Total War?

        • Oldmtnbkr

          Choplifter. Lode Runner.

    • A. Infinity Blade.

      B. Pretty in Pink is enough to make me go on a metaphorical killing spree.

      • That was more flip than I intended, given that volunteer firefighters – people who perform the definition of good works – are dead. To quote my grandfather, after cracking jokes about the pogrom he witnessed, what should I do, cry?

        • well, they were just asking for it with their union and healthcare and pensions and all.

        • ooops, “volunteer”. Ignore that previous.

          zombie is not reading for comprehension today.

          • Pestilence

            less eating words, more eating brains, zomb

          • Community organizations are communist or at least socialist? There!

    • Scott Lemieux

      I blame License to Drive.

      • I blame Pong. Everything has gone right to hell since then.

        • Warren Terra

          I blame Adventure. Though SEK may not agree.

        • DrDick

          You have obviously played it.

      • Brandon C.

        I blame Viva Pinata. All those cute colorful animals would drive anyone into a murderous rage.

        • Tnap01

          At first I read Viva Pinata as Vada Pinson which would open a whole new dimension of blame deflection!

    • efgoldman

      When my dad was a kid, 1920s and early 30s, it was penny dreadfuls and Cap’n Billy’s Whiz Bang that was the ruination of our you’t. In the 30s it was Jimmy Cagney and Edward G. Robinson. After WW2 it was was film noir. When I was in gradeschool, I was going to hell in a handbasket because I read comic books. Early 60s? Elvis, than rock and roll generally. Late 60s? Oooh, the music, and the hippies; mygawd, the hippies! Then TV (always TV), and movies again, and (be afraid! be very afraid!) video games! The horror.
      Funny how all these big-talking conservatives are afraid of their own fucking shadows. Anyone seen a librul shooter lately?

      • Vance Maverick

        Anyone seen a librul shooter lately?

        Patty Hearst, am I right? Or that hippie with the bandage across his nose in Dirty Harry.

  • Matt McKeon

    Armed guards at every firehouse and to go on every call. There was a shooting at a PA church(IIRC) even while LaPierre was speaking. Maybe armed guards at every church.

    The logical end to this insanity is the nation forming a gigantic circle, all pointing guns at each other.

  • c u n d gulag

    When will firefighters ever learn, that in today’s America, before you start fighting the fire, you need to establish a solid perimeter, and set up some picket’s?

  • Light Rail Tycoon

    Wait, I thought firefighters were trained for firefights?

  • I suppose it’s appropriate to tell Wayne LaPierrre to die in a fire today?

    • Tom J.

      Your clear advocacy of murder is offensive, sir!

      Only conservatives are allowed to use metaphors that involve the deaths of “libruls” and “socialists.”

    • Slow clap.

      • The Dark Avenger

        Definitely a +1

    • Scott Lemieux

      Everybody’s favorite neoconfederate has a lengthy post today based on the premise that if someone has ever said “fuck” in the past they can’t possibly be using metaphor.

      • Well son of a bitch, I’m fucked.

        • DrDick

          Well, I am fucking well and truly fucked now.

        • Jay C

          Really? I don’t fucking believe it!!

      • Malaclypse

        Well fuck him like a walrus.

      • Brandon C.

        Now thats fucked.

      • Warren Terra

        Fuck him, I say.

      • Phoenix Rising

        That implies he didn’t actually ride in on a literal horse.

      • These people are pathetic losers.

      • Timb

        Ha. Shows you. My favorite neo-Confederate is Thomas DiLorenzo

  • I can’t WAIT to see what kind of bells-to-the-wall massacree some guntard loon has planned for Christmas Day.

  • Ronnie Pudding
    • Gepap

      Well, it would have been kind of hard for him to have killed the two firefighters the same way he was able to kill a blind 92 year old woman. Thankfully the second amendment gave him the opportunity to go out with a bang….

    • Warren Terra

      Seventeen years doesn’t necessarily sound like a crazily lenient sentence for murder, though one might quibble, especially since at 30 he was old enough to know better and young enough that he’d get out while still fit. And for damn sure he didn’t get the mental health treatment he needed during that time – but how is beating your 92-year-old grandmother to death with a hammer “manslaughter”?

      • sparks

        He did it to the tune “If I Had A Hammer”?

      • Paul Campos

        If the prosecutor had gone to a more expensive and therefore better law school, the killer would still be in jail.

        • Speak Truth

          Mmmmmm……NO!

          Prosecutors are there to make a deal. Any deal that will keep the case from going to trial and won’t totally enrage the community.
          The system of plea bargaining is inherently evil. It allows the guilty to get off with a lesser charge and pressures the innocent to admit to crimes they didn’t commit…all for the convenience of the government.
          Being part of that system is not something to be proud of, Paul.

      • Ronnie Pudding

        Old newspaper article gives some detail. No prior record and DA happy with 17 years. 25 was the max.

        http://www.democratandchronicle.com/assets/pdf/A21985601224.PDF

        • Speak Truth

          Yeah, gives the detail that plea bargaining allows murderers to get off with a manslaughter charge.

          Anyone who beats an old lady to death with a hammer, especially one’s own mother, is guilty of murder and should absolutely get be put to death.

          Hands down.

          Maybe some of the crazies like this guy wouldn’t be around if the liberal whiners would get on board with getting rid of those who have demonstrated that they are cold blooded killers.

          Thanks liberals…thanks for nothin’.

          • somethingblue

            I like the new troll persona. It has a kind of gritty, Eastwoodish character to it. More like this, please!

            Just a couple of comments:

            1. “one’s own mother” seems like a false step to me. How about “the guy’s own mother”? Or even “the perp’s own mother”?

            2. “should absolutely get be put to death.” Clearly you were going for “get the chair,” and then realized that it’s mostly lethal injection these days. Don’t second-guess yourself like this! The first thought is often the best one.

            A B+ for this overall, but I see a lot of potential here.

            • Warren Terra

              Since you’ve taken it upon yourself to do the grading ( which I suspect you will come to regret): does the troll lose points or gain points for factual inaccuracy (the shooter was imprisoned for murdering his grandmother, not his mother, which was already clear in this thread)? I can see it going either way …

              • Malaclypse

                Factual accuracy has a liberal bias.

              • somethingblue

                No, that just adds to the hard-boiled vibe. She was his mother his grandmother his mother …

                • Malaclypse

                  I think we can agree – she was female, and therefore beneath Jennie’s ability to distinguish individuality. Bitchez be bitchez.

                • John Protevi

                  Maybe it’s own of those Faye Dunaway in Chinatown things? Mother AND grandmother?

                • Leeds man

                  Mother and sister.

                • John Protevi

                  I know, I was just taking some poetic license.

                • Leeds man

                  You need a license for that now? Baaastids!

                • GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I wish you people would not feed your trolls.

                • John Protevi

                  You need a license for that now? Baaastids!

                  Actually, now that I think of it, JenBob is slyly alluding to Sophocles, as Iocasta is both mother and grandmother to Antigone and Polynices.

          • sharculese

            Maybe some of the crazies like this guy wouldn’t be around if the liberal whiners would get on board with getting rid of those who have demonstrated that they are cold blooded killers.

            You mean the type of crazies who throw a pissy tantrum about the tyranny of the state right up until the state promises to satisfy their lust for blood, at which point the adopt an erection visible from fucking space?

            No, those crazies tend to be sanctimonious nitwits who think consequences are for other people.

            • sharculese

              fucking block quotes

              • GFW

                How do they work?

              • Painful, don’t do it.

  • Taj Mahalo

    Everything’s gone straight to hell since Sinatra played Juarez.

  • Warren Terra

    It’s obvious that 300 million civilian-owned handguns, rifles, and shotguns has not sufficed to end this problem. I therefore stand by my now consistently held position that the answer must be hand grenades. If each firefighter was charging into blazing fires with a bandolier of hand grenades, this never would have happened.

    Also: this just proves the old maxim: a firefighter should never bring a fire axe to a firefight.

  • Bitter Scribe

    One of the victims was also a cop, IIRC.

    Too bad he wasn’t a janitor who could have heaved a bucket at the shooter’s knees, per Charlotte Allen.

    • Bexley

      McMegan wants to know why there wasn’t a small horde of children charging the shooter.

      • And Outhouse is wondering whether any of the victims might have been accomplices. Just asking questions, of course.

    • sparks

      They need to bring back the bucket brigade.

  • Speak Truth

    In the interest of “fairness”, its important to remember that crazy people who beat their mothers to death with hammers are just people and they deserve a second chance in society.

    The APA will tell you that it was the right thing to do to mainstream the crazies. We all deserve a second chance to kill again, don’t we?

    • Sharon

      Can I order pancakes now?

      • Speak Truth

        Enjoy your pancakes. Need more syrup?

        • Malaclypse

          Subtext again becoming text, Jennie dearest. That is one hell of a dumbprint.

          • Speak Truth

            You’re a teaser, you turn ’em on
            Leave them burning and then you’re gone
            Looking out for another, anyone will do

    • You do realize that the great release of patients from mental hospitals was under Reagan, first as California governor, and then as president, don’t you?

      • He has presumably forgotten when he was released.

      • Speak Truth

        You do realize that the great release of patients from mental hospitals was under Reagan, first as California governor, and then as president, don’t you?

        Crazies are doing crazy things. I want to see them profiled and, if truly crazy, off the streets.

        Again, you wish to make this my side/your side instead of discussing the issues. I’m not here to protect anyone or make points.

        Apparently, you are. Try speaking some truth for a change.

        • owlbear1

          Your impersonation of a kitchen table is flawless.

          • DrDick

            You malign kitchen tables, which have far higher IQs.

        • Leeds man

          if truly crazy, off the streets.

          Maybe put them in some kind of camp, where they can be concentrated. Make them wear armbands. Sterilize them! Funny no-one thought of that before.

          • John Protevi

            The armband could have some sort of symbol on it. Something simple, perhaps only three sides. The color should be sombre, since no one is happy about this.

          • Speak Truth

            Maybe put them in some kind of camp, where they can be concentrated.

            It’s called a mental hospital.

            Or, we could give them some hammers and ask them to deliver a package to your Mom.

            • Timb

              I already delivered a package to her….she said it was the first time she had been with a non-mental defective (your dad and then you).

              She then served me pancakes, but she used margarine rather than butter. I will not be back, since unlike your mom I have standards

              • Speak Truth

                Say “hi” to your Mom for me.

                • Malaclypse

                  For unto us a Child Troll is born, unto us a Son Moron is given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder a muslim socialist tyrant: and His name shall be called Wonderful Jennifer Steele, Counsellor Bob, the mighty God Wurlitzer, the everlasting Father Whiner, the Prince of Peace Dumb.

    • speak truth’s mom’s pancake fumes

      how many did you kill on your first chance?