In case you wonder what I write about on Facebook
CAT limps meekly up to SEK, who is sitting at his desk grading.
CAT: Hi.
SEK: Hello.
CAT: Legs no work.
SEK: You don’t say.
CAT: Wrestled packing tape.
SEK: I can see that.
CAT: Won.
SEK: Not sure about that.
CAT: Help.
SEK: Fine, let me just pull that off–
CAT produces a noise unheard on Earth outside of H.P. Lovecraft’s nightmares. POLICE are likely to arrive soon. CAT also now sports hilarious bald spots.
SEK:
December 5th, 2012 at 8:11 pm
(I’m ribbing a few regulars who Facebook mailed me wondering why I don’t post here everything I write there. Take that!)
rea:
December 5th, 2012 at 8:20 pm
Well, don’t look to CAT for help or sympathy the next time you find yourself inexplicably entangled in packing tape.
And if you claim that isn’t likely to happen, well, none of your regular readers will believe you.
SEK:
December 5th, 2012 at 8:24 pm
And if you claim that isn’t likely to happen, well, none of your regular readers will believe you.
Crap, I didn’t think of this. The best reason not to publish this here is that, in a karmic sense, I’m now asking for it. Motherfuck.
Quicksand:
December 5th, 2012 at 8:25 pm
What, no pics?
I was hoping this was going to be one of THOSE posts.
SEK:
December 5th, 2012 at 8:37 pm
I only thought of taking pictures after untangling my obviously-in-pain cat from the packing tape. (For reference, though, this is the cat in question. You can imagine what he looks like ensnarled in tape, or now, covered in bald spots.)
Tim:
December 5th, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Is this all you post?
SEK:
December 5th, 2012 at 8:41 pm
No. Please refer further questions to the recently updated “Who Are We?” page.
CAT:
December 5th, 2012 at 8:45 pm
Scalzi’s cat gets BACON.
poco:
December 5th, 2012 at 8:58 pm
I want a talking cat like yours. Especially one who says:
CAT: Won.
Daverz:
December 5th, 2012 at 9:13 pm
First stealing basketballs from children, and now abusing helpless animals….
Barry Freed:
December 5th, 2012 at 9:19 pm
Packing tape too, to be fair.
Pseudonym:
December 5th, 2012 at 9:20 pm
Speaking of hilarious bald spots, have you checked out my facebook photos?
Hogan:
December 5th, 2012 at 9:31 pm
I have a cat who says that every time she finishes gnawing on my hand.
herr doktor bimler:
December 5th, 2012 at 9:36 pm
Bald spots are NEVER HILARIOUS.
arguingwithsignposts:
December 5th, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Yes, we need photos with sight lines and configurations to get the full effect of the visual rhetoric involved here.
Captain Splendid:
December 5th, 2012 at 10:00 pm
Related:
http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/page/13
Hogan:
December 5th, 2012 at 10:10 pm
Also this.
SEK:
December 5th, 2012 at 10:27 pm
I considered including some of my patented yellow lines, but demurred because it felt oddly violent.
SEK:
December 5th, 2012 at 10:28 pm
Definitely that.
SEK:
December 5th, 2012 at 10:29 pm
I don’t think that qualifies as a “spot.”
SEK:
December 5th, 2012 at 10:29 pm
Yeah, I’m really not putting up a good showing lately, am I?
Manju:
December 5th, 2012 at 11:03 pm
I’m Catwoman.
expatchad:
December 6th, 2012 at 3:18 am
Cat looks like a feline Rorschach test, now we can maybe diagnose your condition(s). Bald spots a bonus.
blowback:
December 6th, 2012 at 5:30 am
Well at least he wasn’t “wrestling” with Big Bird!
blowback:
December 6th, 2012 at 5:31 am
Sorry, I should have mentioned that the above link is probably NSFW.
Malaclypse:
December 6th, 2012 at 6:49 am
That would explain the fascination with Byrds.
RedSquareBear:
December 6th, 2012 at 6:53 am
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?
RedSquareBear:
December 6th, 2012 at 6:53 am
(In related news: the Internet is for cats. Pette alle cattes.)
rea:
December 6th, 2012 at 7:05 am
It’s not so much that CAT talks–it’s that he’s a lecturer in visual rhetoric.
Bart:
December 6th, 2012 at 7:55 am
Are you suggesting intervention?
The Dark Avenger:
December 6th, 2012 at 8:26 am
And the inability to maintain a logical train of thought.
Colin:
December 6th, 2012 at 8:37 am
It’s ok – you can do these kinds of things when you’re Batman.
Halloween Jack:
December 6th, 2012 at 9:55 am
Halle Berry, not Michelle Pfeiffer.
Malaclypse:
December 6th, 2012 at 10:00 am
23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria. – 2 Kings Chapter 2.
SV:
December 6th, 2012 at 1:23 pm
As a foreigner (not living in the US) I pass over a lot of the IR/military posts here, vaguely read a lot of others (e.g. the recent labour stuff), and pay more attention to progressive/social justice/law change posts – but I have been enjoying your recent posts along the lines of this one immensely.
(I’m thinking of RAY ALLEN, I’M BATMAN, etc. But extra love on this one because CATS.) Thank you!
(Must start looking at your FB page if this is what I am missing.)
Hogan:
December 6th, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Nah. Manju’s a total Eartha Kitt.
njorl:
December 6th, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Julie Newmar was my favorite, not to be confused with Lee Meriweather.
cpinva:
December 6th, 2012 at 3:39 pm
perfect!
Ian Osmond:
December 6th, 2012 at 8:06 pm
That’s one of my favorite hilarious Bible Stories.
Manju:
December 8th, 2012 at 5:12 am
Malaclypse wins the subthread.
The Dark Avenger:
December 8th, 2012 at 7:03 am
And, as usual, you’re the idiot of the thread.