In case you wonder what I write about on Facebook

CAT limps meekly up to SEK, who is sitting at his desk grading.

CAT: Hi.

SEK: Hello.

CAT: Legs no work.

SEK: You don’t say.

CAT: Wrestled packing tape.

SEK: I can see that.

CAT: Won.

SEK: Not sure about that.

CAT: Help.

SEK: Fine, let me just pull that off–

CAT produces a noise unheard on Earth outside of H.P. Lovecraft’s nightmares. POLICE are likely to arrive soon. CAT also now sports hilarious bald spots.

41 comments on this post.
  1. SEK:

    (I’m ribbing a few regulars who Facebook mailed me wondering why I don’t post here everything I write there. Take that!)

  2. rea:

    Well, don’t look to CAT for help or sympathy the next time you find yourself inexplicably entangled in packing tape.

    And if you claim that isn’t likely to happen, well, none of your regular readers will believe you.

  3. SEK:

    And if you claim that isn’t likely to happen, well, none of your regular readers will believe you.

    Crap, I didn’t think of this. The best reason not to publish this here is that, in a karmic sense, I’m now asking for it. Motherfuck.

  4. Quicksand:

    What, no pics?

    I was hoping this was going to be one of THOSE posts.

  5. SEK:

    I only thought of taking pictures after untangling my obviously-in-pain cat from the packing tape. (For reference, though, this is the cat in question. You can imagine what he looks like ensnarled in tape, or now, covered in bald spots.)

  6. Tim:

    Is this all you post?

  7. SEK:

    No. Please refer further questions to the recently updated “Who Are We?” page.

  8. CAT:

    Scalzi’s cat gets BACON.

  9. poco:

    I want a talking cat like yours. Especially one who says:

    CAT: Won.

  10. Daverz:

    First stealing basketballs from children, and now abusing helpless animals….

  11. Barry Freed:

    Packing tape too, to be fair.

  12. Pseudonym:

    Speaking of hilarious bald spots, have you checked out my facebook photos?

  13. Hogan:

    I have a cat who says that every time she finishes gnawing on my hand.

  14. herr doktor bimler:

    Bald spots are NEVER HILARIOUS.

  15. arguingwithsignposts:

    Yes, we need photos with sight lines and configurations to get the full effect of the visual rhetoric involved here.

  16. Captain Splendid:


  17. Hogan:

    Also this.

  18. SEK:

    I considered including some of my patented yellow lines, but demurred because it felt oddly violent.

  19. SEK:

    Definitely that.

  20. SEK:

    I don’t think that qualifies as a “spot.”

  21. SEK:

    Yeah, I’m really not putting up a good showing lately, am I?

  22. Manju:

    I’m Catwoman.

  23. expatchad:

    Cat looks like a feline Rorschach test, now we can maybe diagnose your condition(s). Bald spots a bonus.

  24. blowback:

    Well at least he wasn’t “wrestling” with Big Bird!

  25. blowback:

    Sorry, I should have mentioned that the above link is probably NSFW.

  26. Malaclypse:

    That would explain the fascination with Byrds.

  27. RedSquareBear:


  28. RedSquareBear:

    (In related news: the Internet is for cats. Pette alle cattes.)

  29. rea:

    It’s not so much that CAT talks–it’s that he’s a lecturer in visual rhetoric.

  30. Bart:

    Are you suggesting intervention?

  31. The Dark Avenger:

    And the inability to maintain a logical train of thought.

  32. Colin:

    It’s ok – you can do these kinds of things when you’re Batman.

  33. Halloween Jack:

    Halle Berry, not Michelle Pfeiffer.

  34. Malaclypse:

    23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria. – 2 Kings Chapter 2.

  35. SV:

    As a foreigner (not living in the US) I pass over a lot of the IR/military posts here, vaguely read a lot of others (e.g. the recent labour stuff), and pay more attention to progressive/social justice/law change posts – but I have been enjoying your recent posts along the lines of this one immensely.

    (I’m thinking of RAY ALLEN, I’M BATMAN, etc. But extra love on this one because CATS.) Thank you!
    (Must start looking at your FB page if this is what I am missing.)

  36. Hogan:

    Nah. Manju’s a total Eartha Kitt.

  37. njorl:

    Julie Newmar was my favorite, not to be confused with Lee Meriweather.

  38. cpinva:


  39. Ian Osmond:

    That’s one of my favorite hilarious Bible Stories.

  40. Manju:

    Malaclypse wins the subthread.

  41. The Dark Avenger:

    And, as usual, you’re the idiot of the thread.

Leave a comment

You must be