Home / Robert Farley / Bolsheviks Rising

Bolsheviks Rising


It was obvious to anyone who cared to investigate  that the main obstacle to a Queen City Bolsheviks division title this year was base-clogging-clubhouse-cancer Joey Votto.  With Votto safely in the gulag for the next couple of weeks, the Reds have ample time to open up some distance between themselves and the Rome of the West Princes of Catholicism.

And frankly, I’ll start taking the Pirates seriously just as soon as they start taking me seriously.

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  • c u n d gulag

    Never mind the Reds being in 1st place without Joey V., what are the odds of Houston losing more than a 110 games?

    And rarely in the history of Beantown, and that Communist Commonwealth of Massachusetts, have so many people been ready to ditch their Bolshevik Sox gear, and don New England’s good old-fashioned Patriot attire!

    Never mind the Red’s missing Joey V., most of Boston wishes Bobby V. was missing.

    Go NY Yanks!
    Go NY/NJ Giants!

    And, to paraphrase our “Anglo-Saxon” pals across the pond – ‘GO MITT! No, really – GO! Please leave! Take your Mitt-aprop’s, your
    prancing pony, your Stockholm Syndrome wife, and take leave of this “This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle, This earth of majesty, this seat of…” Well, you get the picture, Mitt. Just, as you Yank’s so delightfully put it -GETDAFUKOUTAHEAH!’

    • Bill Murray

      so Gulag what are your plans now that you Votto for the next couple of weeks?

      • c u n d gulag

        To watch the Yanks make another run at a WS championship, only to lose in the playoffs, since almost no one can get a hit with runners on base – unless it clears the outfield wall by a good margin.

        And to feel empathy for the poor Mets and Red Sox fans, who are watching another epic disaster of a season unfold after the All Star break.

        After years of hating the poor bastards, I actually feel sorry for them. Especially the Mets fans, now.

        I even rooted for the danm feckin’ Red Sox to win the 2004 WS (which I did in ’86, to defeat that hated team of asshole Mets), after my stupid Yankees, with A-Rod looking like an alcohol and heroin addict just off the sh*t, shaking like the last leaf on the tree as a tornado approaches at every at bat – and lose a 3 game lead.
        I rooted for them just to shut their fans the feck up!!!

        I did NOT root for them in 2007 – ONCE, in my lifetime, was ENOUGH!

        As I get older, I find less and less joy in the gloating over the defeat of others.

        EXCEPT Jets fans – who deserve every bad thing ever said about them.
        Especially, now that they have that Uber-Christian, Teabow!

        I guess I still have some ‘growing-up’ to do…

  • Timb

    Farley, I see this as a direct response to Scott’s predictions in the pre-season, where he scoffed at the Arroyo, Bailey, Leake back end of the rotation. I told he was wrong and he STILL wouldn’t take it back. But, guess who’s flying high now!

    Can the Reds play the Astros every game where Joey is gone?

    On an actual serious note, this doesn’t surprise me. This Reds team, unlike many others, is built on pitching and defense. Certainly, they don’t win by avoidng outs with their bats. As a team built around a pitching staff, they will succeed as long as the pitchers remain healthy.

    Ps gulag, f he Yankees

  • Craigo

    As a long-suffering Bucs fan, I’m thankful that we’ve decided to stop “nurturing” (read: ruining) our own pitching talent, in favor of scavenging a working rotation out of the Yankees’ and Dodgers’ droppings.

  • Eric

    For the Reds to be in first place in two months, I think it would take a miracle. And do you really suppose the Lord is going to intervene on behalf of those godless commies?

    Nah, the Princes of Catholicism are going to turn it up a gear at the end of the season like they always do. And frankly, they are a far superior team that has run into a lot of bad luck this season.

    • timb

      They suck and have no pitching. Relying on the ghost of Carlos Beltran is not a strategy…

      • Colin

        As terrible as they are, the Indigenous Peoples of Cleveland and their fans are grateful the Catholic Princes ended up with Beltran’s contract instead.

    • Ted

      The Cardinals’ run differential does seem to show that they are a much better team than their record would indicate. It’s hard to be afraid of the Pirates; it’s hard not to be afraid of the Cardinals.

  • “And frankly, I’ll start taking the Pirates seriously just as soon as they start taking me seriously.”

    I plan on using this copiously. Thank you.

  • efgoldman

    Ah yes. Bronson Arroyo. Who the Red Sox made into trade bait by giving him a fairly reasonable contract with some length to it. And who Theo the Boy Genius traded for the immortal Wily Mo Pena, who was Wile E Coyote with a baseball bat, except in the field, when he was a statue.
    Meanwhile Arroyo has gone 200+ innings all but I think one year with the Commies.
    The did lots of great stuff, but his mistakes were doozies.
    And now ownership has decided the Carmine Hose aren’t a big market team anymore (despite the highest ticket prices in the universe), so they can’t spend their way out of it.
    Friend gulag, enjoy it while you can. Your core gets older and older, but Brian Cashman has brought in some revived oldies but goodies to fill in. He’s definitely out-GM’d everybody else, especially the Sox.

    • efgoldman

      That’s “Theo” who did lots of great stuff, except when he didn’t.

    • timb

      He also won 2 World Series in his tenure. Meanwhile, on the Sox most seasons, Bronson would be a long reliever. Ask Scott, he scoffs at Bronson like any of us new-fangled stat hounds do

    • c u n d gulag

      I know that.

      The Yanks better hope that Bud creates a ‘Geriatric Division’ on top of the AL East.

      But then, the Bolshevik Sox will still finish 2nd to the Yankees. :-)

      • efgoldman

        You know, I’ve not watched an inning of this weekend’s series, nor do I plan to.
        Most seasons, even when the team is awful, I have the game on as familiar background noise. But I cants stands no more. (And yes, i remember the Sox in the mid-60s – 9th in a ten team league, lost 17 of 18 to the Twins, the summer I had mono.)

  • Woodrowfan

    any team founded after 1869 is just a damn expansion team…

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