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Mr. Friedman, my olive tree grove was destroyed by settlers. How do I start a Lexus dealership?

[ 16 ] June 13, 2012 |

This is obviously the greatest Tumblr ever.

Comments (16)

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  1. david mizner says:

    Hehe. That’s in reference to this:

    “When the young women of Egypt need answers, they turn to Tom Friedman”

    • david mizner says:

      And while the women seeking advice from T-Free are imaginary, the president seeking advice from him is all too real.

      At night in the family residence, an adviser said, Mr. Obama often surfs the blogs of experts on Arab affairs or regional news sites to get a local flavor for events. He has sounded out prominent journalists like Fareed Zakaria of Time magazine and CNN and Thomas L. Friedman, a columnist at The New York Times, regarding their visits to the region. “He is searching for a way to pull back and weave a larger picture,” Mr. Zakaria said.

  2. c u n d gulag says:

    I’d say that before you can start a Lexus dealership, you’d need to drive a cab for years, so that eventually Mr. Friedman can sit in it, and dispense his advice to you in lieu of a tip, which he’ll put on his NY Times expense report anyway, so he can pocket it – because he’s TOM FRIEDMAN, BEYOTCHES! – AND HE CAN, SO SUCK ON THIS!!!

    His advice will be worthless – ’cause he knows jack-sh*t. So, you’ll have to keep driving that cab.

    My advice is – get the tip in advance, then grab his wallet, and drop him off in some really sh*tty neighborhood, so he can interview the people there on how they feel now that the world is flattening, and that’s why they can’t find any jobs – until they tire of him, and decide to find out what he’ll taste like as a kebob.

    His wallet may not have enough for you to start a Lexus dealership, but it should provide you with enough money to start some sort of local business – like “The Demon Cab-drivers Of ___________ Street Company” – where you pick-up wealthy international tourists, who want to talk to cab-drivers to get their opinion, just like their late, disappeared hero, Tom Friedman, and sell them to the kebob makers in the neighborhood.

    Then, from the proceeds from THAT – start your Lexus dealership!

  3. Dirk Gently says:

    That olive grower cum Lexus dealer isn’t thinking Friedmanny enough. She should be using her cell phone to open up a Kickstarter or Kiva account to fund the specialized rapid transit system that’s tailor made for a world that’s getting more flat.

  4. Mao ZeDong says:

    Mr Friedman, I have a plan to use backyard steel mills to propel Chinese development into a Great Leap Forward. How can I purge the government of reactionary bureaucrats who do not share my vision?

  5. David Sucher says:

    I haven’t read Friedman for years — so what sort of crazy things is he saying?

  6. [...] Mr. Friedman, my olive tree grove was destroyed by settlers. How do I start a Lexus dealership?: Eri… [...]

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