Home / General / Mr. Friedman, my olive tree grove was destroyed by settlers. How do I start a Lexus dealership?

Mr. Friedman, my olive tree grove was destroyed by settlers. How do I start a Lexus dealership?

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  • david mizner

    Hehe. That’s in reference to this:

    “When the young women of Egypt need answers, they turn to Tom Friedman”

    http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2012/06/11/when_the_young_women_of_egypt_need_answers_they_turn_to_tom_friedman#.T9dLLiDpdfd.twitter

    • david mizner

      And while the women seeking advice from T-Free are imaginary, the president seeking advice from him is all too real.

      At night in the family residence, an adviser said, Mr. Obama often surfs the blogs of experts on Arab affairs or regional news sites to get a local flavor for events. He has sounded out prominent journalists like Fareed Zakaria of Time magazine and CNN and Thomas L. Friedman, a columnist at The New York Times, regarding their visits to the region. “He is searching for a way to pull back and weave a larger picture,” Mr. Zakaria said.

      http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/12/us/politics/12prexy.html?pagewanted=all

      • OK, I am going to jump off a cliff now.

        • R Johnston

          Be sensible. Wouldn’t it be better to just push Friedman, Obama, and Zakaria over a cliff?

          • njorl

            Someone who gives 100 pieces of bad advice and 1 piece of good advice can be a good advisor if you know when to listen to him. So I would just push Friedmen off the cliff.

            • joe from Lowell

              And someone who gives 100 pieces of advice that you receive politely, and then says nice things about you because you reached out to him, can be useful enough to make it worth not pushing him.

      • Ewww, really?

      • Dirk Gently

        There are times where I think Obama isn’t nearly the intellectual he sometimes appears.

  • c u n d gulag

    I’d say that before you can start a Lexus dealership, you’d need to drive a cab for years, so that eventually Mr. Friedman can sit in it, and dispense his advice to you in lieu of a tip, which he’ll put on his NY Times expense report anyway, so he can pocket it – because he’s TOM FRIEDMAN, BEYOTCHES! – AND HE CAN, SO SUCK ON THIS!!!

    His advice will be worthless – ’cause he knows jack-sh*t. So, you’ll have to keep driving that cab.

    My advice is – get the tip in advance, then grab his wallet, and drop him off in some really sh*tty neighborhood, so he can interview the people there on how they feel now that the world is flattening, and that’s why they can’t find any jobs – until they tire of him, and decide to find out what he’ll taste like as a kebob.

    His wallet may not have enough for you to start a Lexus dealership, but it should provide you with enough money to start some sort of local business – like “The Demon Cab-drivers Of ___________ Street Company” – where you pick-up wealthy international tourists, who want to talk to cab-drivers to get their opinion, just like their late, disappeared hero, Tom Friedman, and sell them to the kebob makers in the neighborhood.

    Then, from the proceeds from THAT – start your Lexus dealership!

  • Dirk Gently

    That olive grower cum Lexus dealer isn’t thinking Friedmanny enough. She should be using her cell phone to open up a Kickstarter or Kiva account to fund the specialized rapid transit system that’s tailor made for a world that’s getting more flat.

    • Tyto

      Ah, yes. Micro-loans on steroids.

    • R. Porrofatto

      The echt Friedman strategy for acquiring a Lexus dealership would be to marry one.

    • njorl

      Hmmm … some sort of system of air-hockey-table roads and giant passenger pucks.

  • Mao ZeDong

    Mr Friedman, I have a plan to use backyard steel mills to propel Chinese development into a Great Leap Forward. How can I purge the government of reactionary bureaucrats who do not share my vision?

  • I haven’t read Friedman for years — so what sort of crazy things is he saying?

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